Little White Lies | Book 4

Chapter 18: Letting Go

After an entire day in the Hospital Wing, I was still no better. Madame Pomfrey handed me potion after potion, but none of them seemed to work. If anything, I got worse. Harry sat by my side the entire time, not caring that he was missing out on his lessons. Luckily, he was permitted to stay as long as he needed to. I knew that meant he wasn't going to leave until I did.

As I laid on my white hospital bed, I stared blankly up at the ceiling. My vision was slightly blurred from my migraine, so it was hard to see much of anything. One of my shaky, sweaty hands was cradled by Harry's, as he kissed it. "I love you so much, Riley. You know that, right?" He asked, voice cracking. I slowly rolled my head over to look at him. All I could see was a faint outline of his face. "Of course I know that, and I love you too. I don't want you to worry about me, alright? I'll get better. Whatever this stupid sickness is, will go away."

He reached over, and ran his fingers through my hair. I sighed contently, enjoying the soothing feeling. "I'm never leaving your side, no matter how long you're stuck here. I'll be right here, no matter what." I closed my eyes, and yawned. The sound of Harry's voice never failed to soothe me, even if I was sick. He must've noticed that I was finally relaxing, because he talked to me until I fell asleep.

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I woke up the next morning, only to hear soft voices from across the room. "Good morning, love. How are you feeling?" Harry asked me. I looked at him, and shrugged. "The same, I guess. What's going on?" I replied, with a voice so weak, it was almost as if I was whispering. "Someone tried to slip me a love potion, apparently. Ron must've found it before me, and Hermione took him to Slughorn for a remedy. After that, they drank something, and Ron got poisoned. Slughorn saved him just in time, though. I think he'll be alright."

I looked over at the bed across from mine, only to see a bunch of red heads, and Hermione standing around it. Just then, Lavender burst in, rather loudly, making my head throb worse than it was before. "Where is my Won-Won? Is he alright?" She shrieked. I whimpered from the pain, and pressed my hands over my ears. Harry glared at her with annoyance, and pressed a kiss to my sweaty forehead.

Soon enough, Ronald's insane girlfriend picked a fight with Hermione. The sound of them going back and forth put me in tears. "Quiet down, will you?" Harry snapped at Lavender, as she began wailing. Once she had finally ran out of the room, my head was throbbing so badly, I rolled over, and vomited all over the floor. I was very dizzy, and my heart pounded in my ears.

Madame Pomfrey rushed over, and cleaned up the mess with a wave of her wand. After that, she laid me back down on my bed, and forced a few potions down my throat, none of which helped at all. Harry used a cold washcloth, and wiped my face for me. From Ron's bed, everyone watched me, with fearful, and pitiful expressions.

Poor Harry was shaking almost as bad as I was. It was obvious that he was more scared for my life than I was. "It's gonna be okay. Don't worry, it'll be fine." He whispered. Sadly, I didn't know whether he was saying that to me, or himself.

Once my face was clean, Harry helped me take a few sips of water, before gently massaging the sides of my neck. It felt wonderful, but brought me no relief. As much as I wanted to tell him that he didn't need to take care of me the way he did, I knew it wouldn't make a difference. So, instead, I just tried to let him think he was helping. That always seemed to keep him remotely satisfied with what he was doing.

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A week in the Hospital Wing felt like a year to me. I got worse and worse every day, and Harry grew more and more stressed. I noticed his face was thinning, and his eyes were circled with dark rings. I rarely saw him eat, or sleep. All he did was hold my hand, and stare down at me.

I began vomiting a lot more often, even though all I ever had in my stomach were a few crackers, and maybe a bite of toast. My body was constantly sweating like crazy, making it harder for me to sleep with it being so hot. Now, I was really congested, and my muscles were about as useful as dust.

One evening, when I woke up from a short nap I had taken, I noticed that I was by myself. This was the first time Harry left me by myself without telling me where he was going. Instead of freaking out about it, I blew it off, knowing he was probably using the bathroom. Sure enough, a few minutes later, he walked in, and sank back down into the chair beside my bed.

I could hear that he was breathing heavily, and it looked like there was a bit of blood on his lip. "Are you okay?" I croaked, letting out a small cough. "I know you don't like when I keep secrets, so I guess I have to tell you. You have the right to know anyway." He answered. I frowned, as he took my hand, giving it a light squeeze. "While you were asleep, I got up to use the bathroom. When I got back, however, I found Malfoy in here. He kissed you, and said he was sorry for something. So, we kind of...fought."

I was completely stunned. I didn't know whether to tell him the truth, or act upset that I had been kissed by someone else. If I told Harry I had been cheating on him, he'd leave me. At a time like this, I needed him more than anything. I didn't say anything for a moment. Instead, I only looked up at the ceiling. "Love?"

I looked over at him, and sighed. "Why was he sorry?" He shrugged. "He wouldn't say. But, whatever it was, I made sure he was really sorry." Anger was laced in his voice as he spoke. "Honestly, Harry, why do you always have to go looking for trouble? I could've handled that myself." He raised his eyebrows at me. "Could you have, Riley? You can barely make it to the bathroom by yourself. What would you have done?"

"I would've talked it out with him like a civilized human being. Maybe not in a nice tone, but still! You can't fight someone every time you think they've done something wrong!" I exclaimed, causing my voice replace itself with squeaky whispers. "He kissed you, Riley! Is that not wrong to you?" I rolled my eyes. "I'm more concerned about the reason he's sorry, to be honest. For all I know, he could be the reason I'm sick! Or does that not concern you?"

Okay, I lied. Draco would never make me sick. But, it was weird to me that he was sorry. Had he been sorry for kissing me? Perhaps he was just sorry that I was sick in the first place. Whatever it was, I really wanted to know.

Eventually, Harry decided to stop arguing with me, and sat quietly in his chair. "You can leave if you want. It's probably not comfortable to sleep in that stupid chair." I told him, refusing to look in his direction. "I said I wouldn't leave, didn't I?" He responded. This time, his tone was angry, as if he was forced to stay because of what he promised me. I didn't answer him, but instead, I tried to go to sleep.

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I never did fall asleep that night. One particular thought kept me awake, and close to tears. I felt like there was a huge hole in my stomach, like something was missing. Out of all the migraines and stomach aches I had suffered from, this feeling was the worst. Only one thought floated around in my head.

'Harry was letting go.'