Little Miss irritated

Flying monkey Facebook

 I really hate how people always pick on the 'quiet people'; I'm sorry honey but not everyone wants the whole year to know that they went to the local cinema last weekend. People say things like did you see her phone 'OMG so last year', what an earth has she done to her hair? Well, look at celebrities... do you ever see a celebrity who looks like the girl next door? No? My gavel has been banged (does that make sense?)... yep another thing which grinds my gears is when you really cannot think of a phrase- in your head.

How an earth did I write chapter one without mentioning 'teenage relationships'. I find it so strange how girls put up statuses like 'I love my girlys I don't need a boy xxxx', and then these girls are married on facebook- but all of a sudden- they announce their love for a boy, and then 'marry' him. Like okay... is your friend now going to be third-wheeling or...?

Honestly, it's like most relationships revolve around facebook nowadays. The soppy statuses (okay some are rather cute), the selfies in bed- maybe I could have worded that better, and then the wall-to-wall conversations which are overflowing with 'xxxxxxxxxx'. Do these x's really make a difference? I cannot imagine anyone reading every single x in their head. In fact, I actually read an x as 'ex' in my head, I wish that was a joke... but nope in Maya's brain interprets an x as 'ex'. Good luck to any future boyfriend hahaha... forever alone... meep.

Also there are some really aggravating facebook 'best friends'. Before I delve any further into this subject I have many 'facebook bestfriends', but I do not do what I am about to rant about (well I could do these things but .. .that would be called hypocritism my dear children [any Willy Wonka fans get that? No okay.. my bad.]).

I am going to use today's event as an example. This one girl spoke about her 'best-friend', did I mention they have broken up more times than Miley Cryus has had her tongue out (don't you smirk you rude minded individual >.<). Just read parts of her status, If I copied and pasted it you'd probably be thinking what the flying monkey I better exit this unicorn excrement.. erm... I typed that word into Google to see if I spelt it right. I just think I should share with you an article I saw 'Berkeley postal service disrupted after human excrement put in mail box', damn you over-active imagination! I am now put off my chocolate.

Well, anyway the first part of her status said 'Even with all the arguments I haven't had enough of you :pp LoL. nah.' Before I continue may I just say DAMN YOU WATTPAD TOO... do you know how hard it was having to type that because what I copied and pasted turned purple and was underlined... no? Hands are not pleased. The girl then included in the same status 'To be fairly honest, it's not been easy for me to stay with you all that time.', like what the baby dinosaur, dude you've just made your friend sound like a total yogibogi (censored again). You know what those two sentences say it all.

Time to move on to my next issue. This issue is something I have just done. I was writing a very elaborate paragraph, but no Maya had to highlight it to show her friend and press CUT instead of COPY. Thank-you for that you bibblebobble gobblygoo! Okay maybe I swear at myself sometimes... our secret. Oh my gosh, I had an amazing point- and then one little click and bang the paragraph was gone!

Time to remember this flying monkey-ing (maybe that gives you a clue to what the flying monkey censors *wink*) paragraph; so what I despise is how we are in the year 2013 and people are still liking very freaky facebook posts. Innocent little me was just casually scrolling through my homepage- when all of a sudden- I see a pale, ghost-like figure with long hair facing the wrong way. Seriously people (imagine capitals) do i really want to see that? Since this is wattpad I shall not add the hundreds of question marks and exclamation marks I was so tempted to type- yet I felt like you needed to know those should be there! Is liking a photo going to stop a bunch of pixels from attacking you? By endorsing this behaviour you might as well deactivate your facebook account- since danger is everywhere.

I find those girls who always post statuses like 'just had a bath no replies', very annoying- like how many people could you possibly be talking- in order to highlight that on facebook? Has your information saved my life? Doesn't everyone have a bath or shower. I'm sure your contacts would not mind a sorry for the late reply message explaining what you were doing. Maybe you just wanted the testosterone-crazed boys to see this information, who knows.

Furthermore, does anyone else have that one person on their friend-list, who seems to daily post statuses- such as- like for a mail/inbox. These are the sort of people who sometimes get 20-60 likes. Why can't they just mail a few people and then whenever they have the urge to write another status a few days later, simply scroll down their timeline; find the old status and simply message some more people who 'liked' it. Simple logic guys.

Thank-you for showing the socially awkward people a.k.a me, how you receive so many likes. For instance, if I put up the same status- poor little Maya- would only get a few likes. One like from the facebook relative being 'polite', and another from any close friends who I am currently talking to, showing 'sympathy. Like, gee thanks, I really like seeing your statuses in my newsfeed everyday and seeing the likes fill up in less than a minute. Once in a while this status is fine, but daily... really?

Another thing I actually detest- is when people say 'just saying'. Well thank-you captain obvious! I thought you were attempting to make animal sounds whilst typing in English. Furthermore, when someone posts some sarcastic comment on someone’s status like' 'it's there not their... just saying', that actually makes me want to send a wrath of one thousand Lego pieces on their floor. What the flying monkey is all I have to say, thank-you so much for informing me you were 'just saying', I thought you were attempting to draw on my timeline with your words.

Oh and before I finish this chapter I just want to give some helpful advice to any boys- who constantly put up statuses about being the 'nice guy'. Maybe, you should change your location from 'in Megan Fox's bed', to something else. Also, some of you like some violating photos; you may want to just... look instead of clicking 'like'.

I actually feel a lot happier after writing this- feel free to comment, vote and continue reading... please? :3

P.S judging by my terminology you may have worked out I do not have twitter... if you worked this out, KUDOS to you.