Howling At The Moon

Howling At The Moon Chapter 2

                               "Being suspended seriously sucks" I said groaning throwing myself in my seat next to Lisa and Adam. "What did you do this time" Lisa asked as Adam nodded his head " I beat up Dexter pretty bad" I felt guilty that i did that and I felt worse when i admitted to it. I looked over by the door an I saw the security guard had come to pick me up " bye guys " I said sadly hugging them good bye. They are both in my pack, its weird how you can care sor some one so much and not be blood with them. " Come on lets go " the guard said sternly, I slowly walked down the hall as I let my brown hair fall in my face, I looked up and saw my reflection in all the windows I passed, my dark mascara that made my blue eyes spark.                                                                                                                                              I turned the corner walked up some stairs and went  into the room that I had visited one to many times . I looked at all the boys in the room, they stared blankly at me as I sat down. Hours passed nothing but sitting and listening to a teacher who tried to get control of all the boys that got rambunctious. Mr. Harris the counselor walked into the room, "Gwen, come with me". I got up and walked with him to his office, "what happened yesterday" he asked me, but I just looked down at my shoes. I looked up and responded" I lost control of my anger", I always had to talk to the counselor I  never really understood why. I never told him the reason I have such a hard time controlling my anger, never told him that I am a part of a pack of wolves and am one. I never told him Lisa and Adam are to, I never told him how my father used to drink a lot and would beat me and James. Mr. Harris looked down and took in a deep breath, "Gwen you need to try not to hurt anyone any more". I looked up and glared at the teacher in front of me, " you cant blame me for this, James keeps getting beat up" I yelled. "You broke Dexter's nose and gave him a black eye and he had to get stitches on his bottom lip" Mr. Harris starred at me, I looked up and said " I am going home" I got up and ran out of the room. I went to James class "hey um I need James for a second" I said looking at him, as he walked out I grabbed his hand and we left the building. I did this kind of thing a lot, so its not surprising.                                                                                                                                                                                                          I opened the door and saw my dad was standing in my living room.  "I heard you beat up a kid pretty bad", "they were beating up James I responded quickly. I watched as he picked up the beer bottle on the table and take a long sip, I hated him, I always hated feeling this way because I loved him even when he hit me, but now love started to cover with hatred. I looked at him and felt a slap on my face, "DON'T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT, you ain't supposed to be beating up some kid. You could have turned" he screamed "BUT DIDN'T TURN AND I WOULD GIVE MY LIFE FOR THE ONES I LOVE unlike some people" I yelled back, and received another slap but this one was stronger and I fell to the ground. " I cant bruise you up to bad, Anderson's son wants to meet you" , he said more calmer " I am not meeting anybody " I said as I picked myself up and  looked him dead in his eyes, a coldness torward me showed, I saw a fire and hatred in his eyes. " Your going to meet him you need to fine your mate soon", I walked away and went into my room and saw James on the bed. I walked into the bathroom and shut the door behind me, I never let myself cry in front of James or anybody, I stayed in there for a hour thinking of my life. When i was four I watched him beat my mom , he told me he hated having me because all i did for him was make him stuck with my mother. When I was eight he told me loved me and promised not to hurt me anymore, a few hours later he was drunk and angry and whipped me hard with the belt off his waist and taught me how i cant trust anybody. How could he put his hands on me, im supposed to be his little girl. He has no love for me or James, he let me watch as i saw my mom slit her wrist when i was ten, I tried to stop her. I cried and screamed and pulled on her to make her to stop, I hid with James in the closet and held him tight as my mom took her life. I remembered feeling his tears hit my arm, I remember him shivering. My dad was at the bar that night he was trying to hook up with some girl, I remember that James finally fell asleep in my arms after five hours of crying. How could my mother leave me and him alone in this world, why didn't she love me enough to stop cutting herself, my dad beat me and James to. All i know was i loved her and im pretty sure she loved me back. 

I finally found the courage to come out of the bathroom, and as I left the safety of my room and I went back into the living room, I saw some kid that was around eight- teen. "Hey Gwen, i'm John", I smiled at him slightly "hi, um why are you in my house". "Your dad asked me to meet you" John said putting his hands in his pockets, "oh", "were you crying" he said looking at me closely.  " Yeah but im fine now" I let him know, "why" John asked curiously. "I dont want to tell but thanks for asking" i said and he gave me a hug. I felt safe, I felt like i was loved for the first time in my life, he whispered in my ear "everybody has dark paths, but i will always be here if you want to talk".

we ended up hanging out for a while and after a few hours he said "I got to go, but maybe we can hang out soon", "yeah i would like that" I said with a smile that i have only felt on my face when i was with James. "Bye" John said as he left, he didnt give me a chance to tell him that, I think i loved him. But I dont trust love, i know its the hurt inside that makes things bad, but anyone i have ever loved besides James has turned out to just tare me apart.                                                                                                                                                                                                                        I was alone again with James we sat in our room. I turned the television on and went back next to James, I held him tight as we both fell asleep.

Even though sometimes i wonder why my mother took her life, I know that she loved me and James more then anything in this entire world. But hurt and sadness can cause a person to do things they will never be proud of, like take there own life. I love you mom and so does James, and when one day we are on our way to heaven we will see you there holding gods hands waiting for us.