a collection of unprocessed thought

11 May 2016

I listen to the air flow in and out of my nostrils as I attempt to fall asleep.
But sleep won't take me under and I become anxious at thoughts of school the next day.
I reach down and begin to pull at the already short nails of my toes, wincing in pain as I tear away both nail and skin.
My eyes are stinging from an incessant dryness that never seems to go away.
The skin of my cheeks begins to burn at the touch of exhausted tears spilling from my bottom eyelids.

I could sleep 6 hours and 27 minutes if i fell asleep right now.

My burning eyes glance towards the clock again and again, willing the numbers to fall the wrong way, for more than 6 hours and 26 minutes to sleep.

I turn away from the clock.

But a few minutes later I feel the urge to look back.

6 hours and 24 minutes.

I can now feel my teeth digging into the soft skin of my lower lip.

Sleep.

Just SLEEP.

I turn to the other side, but a pulsing pain in my shoulder has me turning right back the other way.

I cannot stop thinking,

planning,

and begging myself to just give up this deep thought and Rest.

But I can't seem to do so.

I can't help myself-

I glance at the clock once more.

6 hours and 21 minutes.