Keep A Heart (Sequel to Fix A Heart)

Chapter 18

Keep A Heart

Chapter 18

"Our kiss is a secret handshake, a password. We love like spies, like bruised prize fighters. Like children building tree houses, our love is serious business. One look from you and my spine reincarnates as kite string. When I hesitate to hold your hand, it is because to know is to be responsible for knowing. There is no clean way to enter the heavy machinery of the heart. Just jagged cutthroat questions, just the glitter and blood production. The truth is this: My love for you is the only empire I will ever build. When it falls, as all empires do, my career in empire building will be over. I will retreat to an island. I will dabble in the vacation-hut industry. I will skulk about the private libraries and public parks. I will fold the clean clothes. I will wash the dishes. I will never again dream of having the whole world." -Mindy Nettifee

Blair's POV:

Harry stood outside the car door as I unbuckled Brynn from her carrier, waiting for me to ask him for anything or hand him anything to carry inside Sadie's house which we had just arrived at. And by the cars in the driveway it seems as if the boys are here also.

"I can get her if you'd like." I hear Harry tell me from behind, blowing on my hands to warm them as I turn to smile at him. I turn back to the buckles, fumbling to unlatch them with my ice cold fingers before giving up and stepping back to let Harry do it.

He gets her out within a few long seconds, lifting the bundled up little girl to hold her in his arms as he also retrieved the diaper bag from the backseat. I try and take it off his shoulder but he dodges my attempts, making Brynn giggle in his arms with his quick movements. Right when we made it to the familiar front door it opens up, and Niall stands before us with a bright grin.

"Hey guys!" He chirps.

"Brynn, it's Uncle Niall!" He exclaims, reaching his arms out for Harry to give her up. He plucks her from his grip when Harry gives in.

We get greeted by the rest of the boys and they all coo over Brynn just as Niall had done, Sadie complaining that we hadn't named her Gwen once again.

"She totally looks like a Gwen! Doesn't she Liam?" Sadie says.

"Sure she does sweety." Liam responds.

"He's only saying that because he loves you Sadie." Harry pats her shoulder as he passes her, picking up the speed of his long legs and running into the kitchen as she chases after him. These two are always at it I tell you.

I glance to Brynn in Zayns arms as I start to walk to the kitchen to rescue Harry, opening to kitchen door to see Sadie holding Harrys ear, making him crunch over by her grip, hearty chuckles passing his berry colored lips.

"Stop harassing my husband, Said." I laugh.

"Tell him to stop harassing me then!" She tells me, no anger in her voice, just playfulness.

"You need anger management Sadie." Harry mumbles to her, now rubbing his ear between his fingers.

"Guys, guys shes crying, I don't know what to do!"

Zayns voice sounds from the living room, and sure enough Brynn's strong set of lungs are setting off.

"I'll get her." Harry tells me instantly, scurrying out of the kitchen. After a few long seconds her cries stop, and I knew she was in Harrys arms.

"Look at you guys, mommy and daddy." Sadie tells me, nudging me with her elbow. Her words make a wide smile cover my face, turning my heart to a puddle of goo.

"Things are finally perfect, Sadie." I sigh happily, making her roll her eyes playfully at my heartfelt, mushy words.

"No, I'm completely serious. I can't tell you how happy I am."

"I can tell you're happy Blair," Sadie smiles.


Harrys POV:


Upon hearing Blair's voice through the door of the kitchen after beginning to walk in to see if Brynn needed to eat, speaking those words to Sadie; it instantly sent my happy mood crashing down.

No, everything is not perfect, your dad has cancer. That's what I want to tell her with all my heart. But it will hurt her so much, it will send her world down in flames, sending her happiness away for good. Everything has just begun to go back to normal for her, what will happen if she found out?

I honestly think I would loose her this time, she will shut herself down, block me out like she used to way back when. And I don't want her to push my away, I don't want her to be sad. The smile that is always on her face brings happiness to my heart, because its finally returned to its rightful place and I don't want it to go away again.

So I back away from the door and try to push the thought to the back of my mind, but I know it will never disappear. Because her fathers cancer will never disappear.

****

We did what we seemed to do each time we all hang out, sprawled out on couches watching a cheesy movie. Brynn had fallen asleep in my arms long ago, Blair's chin resting against my opposite shoulder, her eyes seeming to get heavier by the moment.

I know we should be heading home so both my girls can get some rest, but I can't seem to make myself get up, because both of them are snuggled up against me.

"Harry?" I hear Blair whisper, her sleepy voice making me get butterflies. It's amazing that I still get damn butterflies over her voice.

"Hmm?" I ask her.

"I want to go home and go to sleep." She whispers, tilting her head up to look at me, Bambi eyes looking into mine.

"Okay." I murmur back, looking down to the sleeping little girl in my arms.

I nudge Liam who is resting next to me with Sadie asleep on him, telling him we are going to head out. Blair stands up, taking Brynn from my arms without waking her. We whisper our goodbyes to the people who are still awake, heading out the front door of Blair's first home.

The house where we'd kissed more than a thousand times, the house where we made love for the first time in her bedroom.

"I love you, Blair." I remind her.

"I love you too." She smiles up at me tiredly. She buckles Brynn into her carseat, not even making her stir in her sleep.

"Wow super-mommy." I chuckle.

She sticks her tongue at me before climbing into the passengers seat of our car.

****

She'd fallen asleep on the way home, leaving me with only the music in the car. I'd woken her up by leaning across to her seat and kissing her lips, lips unresponsive as I'd kissed them over and over again until she'd begun to laugh tiredly.

"That little girl is a heavy sleeper." Blair informs me with a laugh as she walks into our bedroom now, already unbuttoning her jeans to change.

I slip my shirt off, jeans following next before I climb into bed. I rest my hands behind my head, watching Blair as she changes absentmindedly and comfortably in front of me. I remember just how shy she'd been when we'd first had sex. She still takes my breath away every day.

"Don't put anything else on." I murmur to her from the bed, her eyes flicking over to me, the pajama pants she'd pulled out of the dresser in her hands, her creamy flesh a beautiful contrast to her black undergarments.

"I'm too tired for you to try anything tonight Harry." She laughs, her smile wide.

"I won't try anything." I tell her.

"Come here, I just want to be able to feel you against me." I tell her honestly, making her cheekbones heat a shade as she flutters her eyes away from me, setting the pajama pants back into the dresser.

My eyes stay on her as she walks to her side of the bed, climbing on before
resting next to me. She lifts her legs so I can pull the covers over us, her hand lying flat on my chest.

"I can tell you're happy." I whisper.

She looks up to me with a small smile.

"I am, and I'll be even more happy when I get some sleep." She speaks playfully, leaning up to peck my lips, pulling away slowly, my eyes closed.

"I love you." She tells me, snuggling into my bare side, her flesh warm and inviting against mine.

"I love you too." I say back, my hand running over her hip, trailing over the sides of her underwear before going up her side and back down again, making her fall into unconsciousness.

And I wished I'd just tell her already, to get this weight off my shoulders. Why'd I even have to ask what was wrong with her dad? Why didn't I just leave it alone? Because then I wouldn't be in this situation, having to keep a secret from Blair that would tear her apart if she'd found out.

I turn my head to rest it against Blair's, turning onto my side and wrapping my arms around her sleeping form, hoping that maybe if I held onto her long enough and tight enough, that it would all just go away.

*****

For the first time in a while I woke up to Blair still sleeping next to me. I didn't wake up to Brynn crying, or to Blair being gone for having to get Brynn from bed. She still lies next to me sleeping contently, strands of hair covering her face. I swipe them away before closing my eyes again, resting my face into the crook of her neck.

"I love you so, so much." I mumble against her warm skin, knowing she can't hear me but still confessing it again.

I pull her into me by my arms that are wrapped around her waist, my palms pressed flat to her bare back as I hold her to my body, her curled position fitting perfectly into the curve of which my body lays in. Her head in resting against my chest, her hot breath being felt across my skin as she remains asleep. I run the span of my hand over her soft back as I lay in silence, wanting to fall back asleep but being unable to.

"I want to tell you so bad." I murmur to the sleeping girl in my arms.

"But I don't want to lose you, and I don't want you to push me away."

I squeeze my arms around her, tightening my jaw over and over again as I continue to think about it in my mind.

"You'll break." I whisper sadly.

"I know you will, and that's why I just can't do it."


It's short and stupid and it sucks and I'm so so so so so sorry. I haven't updated in such a long time, I've been writing heartbeat alot lately and I just haven't gotten to this one in a while. Hopefully Ill get back to actually wanting to write this one, because its not over yet my friends. Please be patient, comment and vote please. Hope you enjoyed. Xx