Maybe He Gives Me More

Bad habits

       Harrys POV
"You did great out there. Just like I taught you." Ashton praised me the sun glistening off our shoulders in my beaten down car. I didn't feel anything about Zayn, angry men have always been part of the prostitution business and I knew it was a part of the job when I signed up. Ashton taught me best.
       After Niall had broken up with me, Ashton had found a way to caress all my broken pieces. He took me out for 3am icecreams and bought me clothes when I needed new ones. We both knew our friendship was only one of convenience, but we were all eachother had. When he had offered me to be a part of a prostitution company he had been in, it was almost an automatic yes.
      I had nothing left, no father, no boyfriend and a poor poor excuse for a mother. Ashton was all I had. I was living off of ramen noodles and couch change and if blowing randoms meant I'd have a chance at being somewhat okay again then I would do it.
     Before he brought me to his pimp it was made clear to me that I was to do nothing but be compliant to his teachings and know that Ashton was only doing this to teach me. He made sure I knew I would almost never have to see Luke after this, and that he would handle all money transactions.
    The first night Ashton left me alone with the pimp named Luke, was the worst. I had tried to make myself seem experienced but Luke knew it was a facade. The first half an hour a gun was pointed to my head and I was told to give a blowjob to him on spot. Tears were down my face and he only laughed. "This is only to prepare you" he would say each time he made me do something horrible. And in that week I knew there was no bad situation I couldn't be prepared for. There was nothing I wouldn't be able to handle.
      The biggest lesson he taught me, was to leave emotion out of this job. I couldn't be attached to the people I blow. I couldn't let my feelings interfere with anything. Not if there was a gun to my head not if hands were around my throat and not even if I had feelings for a fuck. Not even if I remembered their names.
     After that week, I knew what I was good for. I knew my worth and where I stood. Anyone who sucked people off for money, was absolutely worthless and I was okay with it. I had accepted my worth a long time ago. When Niall left, so did everything else. Having Zayn yell in my face, felt like a slap on the wrist.
    "Thanks I guess." I replied back to Ashton. I put a cigarette in my mouth and wrapped my lips around the filter. I've smoked a pack of cigarettes every day since I was eleven and there was no way I would ever be able to stop. There was no way I'd ever be able to stop my bad habits.