Maybe He Gives Me More

Didn't

                    Harry's POV
     I opened the door to see Louis, his face stained in tears. After fifteen broken voicemails trying to explain to me how scared he was I gave him directions on how to get to Luke's again. I had no idea what the fuck I was doing.
     Louis walked in past me and closed the steel door behind him. His face crumpled in sadness and the usual look of tears ran down his face. I couldn't find it in me to say anything, the dramatics were too much for me to handle.
     "You didn't chase after me." He said, his voice shaky, almost unsure of the words he was speaking. I kept silent and my face remained still. Statue like.
He rose his head and attempted to meet my gaze.
    "I sucked Zayn off." The silence that followed was almost painful. I felt my cheeks get red and I knew I had to tell him what happened. I pinched the skin on my arms, meeting his eyes. "I fucked Ashton."
     More tears ran down Louis's face. I knew sex was a bigger deal because Louis had never had any, but to me, Ashton and I had sex whenever. It was never anything special, just casual. He knew what I liked and I knew what turned him on. With Ashton it was simple, close to business like.
      "You fucked him?" A broken voice cut out through the quiet. I turned to see a fragile Luke. His jaw was unhinged and there was a faint shaking apparent in his hands.  For the first time since I had known Luke, he looked hurt. Like the ground he was standing on was all the sudden a lot weaker than he had ever realized.
     "I'm sorry." I said. Louis curled into my side and what happened next was almost automatic. Luke straightened his spine and his eyes glazed over with a familiar hardness. His hands clenched until his knuckles turned a pale white.
     "Please go home, I'll deal with the money in the morning." I knew the tactic he was using. I was going to get the shit beat out of me tomorrow. I took hold of Louis's hand and pulled him with me outside and into my car.
     "I'm sorry I didn't chase you." Louis turned to me with red tinted lips and took my face in his small hands. "Do you love me,Harry?" He whispered. He was sure to put emphasis on my name.
      I pressed my forehead against his and felt his cherry breath circling my lips. I knew how this worked and I was being dumb. This is how people get hurt. I didn't know if I loved him, and I knew even if I did, I shouldn't.
     I let my lips find his and my hands graze across his figure. I pulled away and lingered wanting to be close to him. "Can we forget everything bad for a night?" I asked. I hoped that would be enough of an answer for him. I could feel myself going through the motions of beginning to be in love but it wasn't enough. It wasn't enough to give up the life I had created for myself.
      "I just want to hear you say it. I love you Harry." Louis spoke. My stomach clenched at the words and I gently pushed him back into the passenger seat. I don't think he loved me. He loved that I was something bad he could tell his friends about. He loved that I was a sob story and that I didn't live in the suburbia he found himself reliant on. He loved that I was anything but what his mother would want him to bring for dinner, but he didn't love me.
    I turned my key in the ignition and began to reverse out of the driveway, both hands on the steering wheel. "Louis, I think we should break up."