Maybe He Gives Me More

Alone and Scared

Louis's POV
Part of me had hoped when I jumped out of the car that Harry would keep going until I gave in, but by now I should know Harry doesn't understand cues in relationships. He doesn't understand that he's supposed to fight for me and stop when I say so.
After what seemed to be an hour of walking I found myself stumbling up Zayn's driveway. My phone was working, but I didn't want to be tempted to call Harry. I couldn't give in. I knew he wouldn't like this, but that's why I wanted to do it even more. He needed to know I was worth it for others. Zayn wouldn't have drove off. Zayn wouldn't have slammed those two guy's heads into the table.
As my knuckles knocked on Zayn's rusty front door, I felt the guilt rise in my throat. I really shouldn't be here. This was stupid. I heard his voice peak through, and the door swing open. His smile dropped.
       "What do you want?" I looked up at Zayn through my eyelashes and bit my lip. I just needed someone to drive me home. "Can you drive me home?"  Zayn's eyebrows furrowed and he peeked his head outside and searched around.
      A smile grew on his face, "Where's the slut?" I cringed at the name calling but attempted to look unaffected. "Ditched me." I whispered. He stepped out onto the pavement barefoot and gestured for me to go inside instead. I walked in and immediately found myself sitting on the floor with Zayn finding a spot next to me.
      His house  smelt like vanilla and part of it made me want to vomit. There was left over food laying on the old couches and the heat was swarming. Everything about today made me sick. The air was thick with intensity and my heart was beating fast. "You look so good today Louis." A layer of lust filmed over his usual aggression.
    I glanced down to study my hands and felt my cheeks redden, "Thank you." Our eyes met and the silence began to get bigger. I flicked my eyes down to his lips, they were chapped and tough, and I knew as soon as I leaned in I fucked up. But I couldn't care. Harry didn't, so why should I?
      Zayn's lips grazed mine and he was fast to deepen it and yank me closer. His lips felt foreign and I couldn't help but like the feeling of doing something wrong. For once in my life I didn't need to make the right choice, I cared about nothing but myself. Thats system always seemed to work for Harry. While biting my lip Zayn pulled away and moaned, "Suck me, baby." Every muscle in my body tightened. I had only ever given head twice.
     Zayn stood up off of the carpet and pulled my hair tightly in his hand so I was staring up at him. I adjusted so I was kneeling comfortably and watched as he slowly unzipped his pants. 
     I was nervous, and I don't think he could tell. I licked down his dick and watched as his hold on my hair became tighter. I was sure by now that he was ripping some of my hair out.
     I shoved his member into my mouth slowly and took him in inch by inch. I placed one hand on his hip bones and gagged at how much of him I had taken into my throat. "Get on with it." Zayn snapped.
     He wasn't being encouraging like Harry usually was and the anger in his eyes emerged fear throughout my whole body. This wasn't what I was used to. Zayn wrapped his hands roughly around my head and begin to pump my head back and forth harshly. My nose slammed against his stomach and his member was touching the back of my throat, This wasn't right.
     Tears brimmed my eyes and he pumped my head faster and faster. I tried focusing my mind on anything other than what was happening so I wouldn't have to stop. So I wouldn't have to disappoint another person today. He let out dry moans and I felt his come drip in my mouth.
     His slipped his member out of my mouth and I let the tears roll down my face. "What's wrong?" Zayn asked, examining my face. He zipped his pants back up and kneeled down to my level. I shook my head and buried my head in my hands. I missed Harry. I only wanted Harry to do that with me. This wasn't okay.
     Zayn tried to wrap his arms around me and I could feel the panic rise in my throat. I swung at Zayn's chest and continued to sob. I fucked up. Harry would never love me again, No one would. I just let Zayn put his dick in my mouth, the man who had been harassing my kindof-boyfriend.
     "Don't fucking touch me." I got up off of the dirty floor and feverishly rushed back outside into the driveway. I needed to tell Harry what happened. I let my feet aimlessly lead me down the road and dialed Harry's number.
     I listened to the phone dial and prayed he would pick up. I needed him. It was dark and a crying boy on the side of the road who just cheated and got mouth fucked wasn't the best combination. More tears ran down my face at the sound of his voicemail.
      "Harry. I need you. I fucked up and I'm alone and scared."