Killed but happy

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Nanami on the picture

Nanami's POV

I didn't want this to end up.I didn't know that he was the one.I didn't want him to leave me....I didn't want him to kill me...but it  needs to be done.

"Kil...please...just kill me already..."I begged as tears streamed down my face.I was on the ground sobbing loudly as my so called lover stood infront of me.

"..b-but..I-I-I can't do that!!Nanami!Please don't say that!Please!Don't leave alone!You promised me,didn't you?!You promise that you won't leave me alone!Please!Don't leave me!!I don't want to kill you!"He cried loudly while hugging me tight.I gripped  his shirt and let my tears fall in his shoulders.

"Killua...please don't make this any harder...I didn't want this to happen either...but it must be done for the both of our sakes...I'm so sorry!I'm sorry!!I just don't know any other way to solve this!Please just take my life already!I'm begging you,Killua!"I said as my tears continued to soak his clothes.I hugged him tightly afraid that I'm going to lose him shortly.

I don't want him to suffer because of me,that's why I'm going to sacrifice myself for that.He's more important than anything else to me.He's my everything.I...don't know what to do anymore...

"Kil...do you remember the time when we were kids?"I asked trying not to sound so weak.He nodded his head as a signal making me let out a small smile.

"Can you repeat what we s-said that time?"My voice cracked as my tears continued flow out.Oh lord,what will I do without him?

"N-Nanami...I-I p-promise to never leave you..."He repeated the words that made me alive.The words that made me live until today.The words that meant everything to me...

"Kil...I promise to never leave you too...and t-to a-always...always...p-protect you...and make you h-happy..."I stuttered as I gripped his shirt tighter like my life depended on it.My tears continued like a waterfall but so do his.

I can never imagine a life without him,that's why I'm not going to live without him.I better die than make him suffer...

"Kil...When I said that I will never leave you...I meant it wholly.I'm just gonna leave you physically...but I'm still with you...there inside of you,inside of your heart...I'll never disappear within you as long as you live...I'll never ever leave you..."I whisphered at him,too weak inside and out to do anything.I untangled myself from him and placed my hands in his stained cheek.His orbs that refelcted the ocean,his skin white as a snow,his perfect face that was made by the gods of perfection and his love that warms every inch of you...Oh God!Why does this have to happen?

"B-but...I can't live without you beside me!Nanami!please don't do this!!"He cried,burying his face on my hair,staining it with his tears.

I placed my hand in his head softly patting him.

"Kil...I love you so much,I love you so much it pains me to see you this way...I'm so sorry that this have to happen but please...live on for me,don't be sad,make a living.Do it for the both of us.Do it for me.Never ever give up on anything...I'm gonna miss you,remember that..."I said while pushing his face away from me.I leaned in and gave him one last kiss...before stabbing myself in the heart.

I let out a smile as my vision blurred,the light was slowly fading and I know that I'm also fading.

"Sayonara...Killua..."

*Many years later*

What do you think you're gonna feel when you see someone you love,love someone else?Does it hurt you or makes you happy?Do you feel betrayed or full-filled?Does it make you better or worse?

I might not know your answers but I know my answer.

I'm happy,full-filled and better.

Seeing him smile like the happiest man in the world makes me smile.Even though it's not for me,it makes me glad.Even though I'm not the one who's with him,I'm happy.Glad that he's finally happy and satisfied with his life,Happy that he was finally over the past.Even though,I'm not everything for him now,He's still my world,my everything.That's why I'm going to sacrifice anything-everything-I have just for him,even if I need to sacrifice my happiness or even my life.I won't hesistate,I'll do it in a heartbeat.

That's my promise after all.To make him happy and to never leave him...

That's how love works after all...
~*~
Nanami…I'll never forget you...you're still there,aren't you?Thank you for letting me live and thank you for keeping your promise...

Killua...I'm here...I miss you already...You're still my everything after all...

The end.

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