Desolation ✔️

Chapter 12: Loose Ends

Ash's dark blue eyes lock with mine from across the kitchen. He leans back on the counter, dark hair shadowing his eyes in the dim lighting. His jaw ticks, but he doesn't say anything. One second passes by. Then another. Maybe he's just trying to gather the right words? The hardest part about telling a complicated story is deciding where to begin. Before or after the chaos? Delve into the back story, or glaze right over it? Who do you mention? The ones who are still with you or the ones who left before the story really began?

"Actually, I have a better idea," Ash says, breaking the eye contact and moving his attention to the front door, "let's check the rooms and security system first."

I raise an eyebrow. "I thought you said you weren't harboring any dead bodies here? And you have a security system? What kind?"

"It's not dead bodies I'm concerned about. With the world in the state it's in, everyone's in Robin Hood mode: steal from the rich, but instead of giving to the poor, it's every man for himself."

My lungs deflate and my face falls. I refrain from rolling my eyes and instead look down at our weapons scattered on the table. He's right. Conversations are mere distractions in the apocalypse. You either have them while you're on the run, or you don't have them at all. That's just how it is now, isn't it?

"Right," I mutter, pushing out of my chair. "And this security system of yours?"

"My dad installed it shortly before I joined the SWAT Team. He got overly protective after my sister ran away. That was shortly after my mom died, so ya know...guess he didn't want to lose me, too. Can't really blame him."

My eyes widen and my lips part. "You have a sister? Where is she now?"

Ash shrugs, avoiding eye contact. He crosses his arms over his chest, closing himself off. "Once she ran off, she was gone. Never wrote us, never tried coming back. I can't excuse her actions by saying my mom's death hurt her the most—it affected all of us pretty badly—but she definitely had a different way of dealing with it. Once she was eighteen, she vanished."

"Wow," is all I can say. "Are..." I hesitate a moment; a part of me doesn't want to push it, but with him opening up so much now, this might be my only opportunity. "Are you worried about her?"

Ash looks at me solemnly. He bites his lower lip before responding simply, "No."

The air tightens around us, pinning me in place. Even breathing feels like it will break the fragile silence that allowed Ash to temporarily open up. "Why?" I ask.

"She was always the most independent between us two. She can hold her own."

"Even now?"

"Especially now."

"But..." I pause. Ash and I are two completely different people. When people go, it seems like he allows them to go. Peacefully. No fight, no chase. So why can't I do the same with Carter? No reason will ever be good enough to allow me to believe he's content where he's at. I refuse to believe he left me intentionally. "But she's your sister. You wouldn't even want to try looking for her?"

"No," he answers in an instant. He sounds so resolute. "She's been gone three years. I'd rather not know her whereabouts."

"But how can you live with not knowing? Not even knowing if she's okay? Do you even care about her, like, at all?"

Ash sighs and looks away, shaking his head. "Sometimes it's just better not knowing. Not every circumstance works in your favor, Scarlett. Sure, maybe I'll run into her down the road. But right now, there's no lead. I wouldn't even know where to start if I tried. And believe me, when she first left, I did try."