Book I: My Muslim Man | COMPLETED

Chapter 11: Stay Strong. Have Faith

Afaaf's POV

I was asking for help from Allah and He sent Imran to me. The fact that he left his work and drove back to me to handover just a USB sounded so sweet to me.

I don't know why I suddenly felt weak and in need of leaning over someone. Maybe it was the nervous break down I was facing earlier. I wanted to be strong. I always was, but at times of difficulty or dreadful situations I couldn't find much satisfaction in remembrance of Allah. My Iman fluctuated at times and I found it hard to face sudden downfalls. Maybe because I had faced enough of those in my life earlier that now all I expected were good happy days.

Leaning against someone or clinging to them does help and next to Imran the feeling of calmness and restfulness was much more powerful. My feelings took over me when I kissed him. The moment I realised what I did, I felt like I had committed a crime or crossed the boundaries. I jumped away from him looking at his face which carried expressions of astonishment. Thankfully Mrs. Harold called me inside the meeting room before the embarrassment could proceed.

The presentation went well. I had everything under control now and I put forward every point the best way possible. It was a success and I went through it easily. The senior teachers looked impressed enough. I was being afraid and nervous about nothing. I should've put more trust in Allah to help me.

"I told you it'll be fine", Hareem said taking a bite of her sandwich as we sat in the school canteen.

"I'm glad it was", I nodded grinning from ear to ear.

"But why did you suddenly leave in the middle?"

"I felt like I was going to have a nervous break down"

"Ya Allah! Why?!"

I told her the everything that happened but I didn't tell her the kiss part. It was really embarrassing and I didn't even knew how I would face Imran back home. But I had to.

I went home earlier today and had lunch with the girls. Everyone was chattering as usual but I was quiet. It was like the silence before a storm would hit. I kept thinking about what happened to me in the school. Why did I wanted to be close to Imran or even kiss him? Why did I want to make everything so complicated at a point where we were soon going to be divorced as mum was getting better and better. My mind was getting clouded with confusing thoughts and emotions.

Soon, Imran came home and he greeted everyone in the kitchen and went to our room upstairs. I tried to ignore him and didn't even looked at him. I didn't wanted to go to our room now. I was afraid of facing him. Tonight I didn't even let anyone do the dishes as I wanted to stay away from Imran as long as I could. But kitchen work couldn't last me the escape.

After praying Isha everyone went away to their bedrooms. Thankfully I didn't face Imran when he came down to go to the masjid or when he went back upstairs. I and Mariam sat alone in the living room. Mariam was doing her maths homework and I was going through my facebook just reading random news, still not ready to go back to the bedroom and face him. Ugh! Why did I have to do this to myself?!

"Afaaf api, please help me with this question", Mariam said keeping her notebook in my lap.

Perfect! Now I had something to do to last me my escape from Imran. She had asked me to explain to her only one question but I explained her 8 more just so that I could make sure that I passed another half hour somehow away from the bedroom.

I sat there with Mariam a bit longer but then she was also going to bed so I had to get up and go now. It was late so I guessed Imran must've fallen asleep by now. But he didnt.