Book I: My Muslim Man | COMPLETED

Chapter 29: Distance & Time

Afaaf's POV

"I was so excited about Ramadan until I realised that I am a mother now and this little pumpkin still needs breastfeeding", Amna api talked as she moved around the kitchen holding the baby.

We were busy making breakfasts as we talked about Ramadan and how different all of it was when Ramadan arrived the last time. Amna had grown to become a mother and I, a wife. Life changes. Something everybody always look forward to. I never did. And never did I learn to accept changes. Unfortunately life could never be like I wanted it to be; as peaceful and quiet as still air. I had realised that it was Allah who had willed such a life for me and that I had to put my trust in Allah. But it's not always as easy as they say it, to have trust in Allah's plan.

"...and I am thinking we should go over Aunty Sabeeha's on the first day of Ramadan. I was talking to her yesterday over the phone and she was really missing us especially her grand daughter", Amna started giving Areej sloppy kisses making her chuckle.
That's when I actually laid my ears on what Amna was saying.

Just as I was taking out the eggs on the plate, Areej vomited on her mother. Amna back was half covered in puke and it smelled awful. I held Areej and took her to the bathroom to clean her face while Amna went to her room to clean and change.

When I was going back to the kitchen, I heard Imran stepping down the stairs.

"Where's Areej? There she is! Come to uncle Imran!", he called her and she immediately stretched her arms towards him wanting to be held by him. I let her go.

He tickled her and kissed her taking her to the dining room. I followed him bringing him his breakfast. His face had reminded me what he had said last night. That I never trusted him. How was I ever going to explain him that trusting someone is different for someone like me. It's not that I didn't trusted him or was accusing him, I just wanted to be assured that I didn't need to worry about anything to this sort. It all came out too wrong last night and I was regretting it. But he should've seen what was my point of view of the situation. I took a deep breath as I entered the dining room.

Placing our plates on the table I sat beside Imran. He didn't even notice that today I sat beside him rather that opposite to him. We began eating.

"Imran-", before I could say anything else he spoke up angrily, "No! Not now! I don't want to start my day like this! I won't even have breakfast if you start that topic again!", he looked at me waiting for me to enflame his anger but I choose to let it go.

So I remained quiet and let him eat in peace. He was right. Neither did I want to start my day with that topic but I wanted to say something important. I wanted to tell him that I trusted him and that I just bursted yesterday which was not what I was supposed to do.

He went upstairs to collect his bag and keys. I handed over Areej to Amna and then followed Imran knowing that I must be there if he needed to find something. Before he would begin to step down I called him. He turned around and looked at me, maybe expecting me to handover to him something that he forgot. But it wasn't something that he had forgot. It something that I had forgot; the value of his smile, his kiss. I knew I couldn't demand it right now so I decided to give him something that would make atleast one of us feel at ease.

"It's not that I don't trust you. I want to trust you. I just need sometime to...", I didn't know what to say next. Words had erased from my mind as I looked into his eyes which suddenly looked different. It wasn't a good difference. There was something missing in the way he looked at me. It was so... emotionless.

He gave me a fragment of his day as he kept staring back at me, contemplating what the rest of my sentence held just as I did. How badly did I wanted him to take me in his arms before taking another step away from me. How badly did I wanted his kiss to end this roller coaster of emotions inside me. But he took a step away and then another, tearing away his eyes from my face, his lips still frozen together. He left me standing there, in need of his touch of comfort and many unsaid words.