Always (cameron dallas fanfic)

Chapter 8

Cameron and I find a table near the window and sit down. It's about 10 o'clock now.

I begin to devour my pastries as he watches me with a smile. I know I probably look like a slob and maybe even crazy but the way he stares at me makes me feel something I can't describe. I know this all sounds cliche but I don't know how else to describe it. 

He looks at me like a gateway drug. Like I'm something he needs. Like I'm almost being used in a way to forget something that has been clouding his mind. But it doesn't bother me because every time I look up to find him staring and smiling right back at me, I feel so alive. So vibrant. 

No one has ever looked at me the way he does and it makes me feel special and appreciated. I haven't felt this way in quite a long time. 

"You have beautiful eyes," he tells me. "I could look into them for days."

"Ditto." I say with a goofy smile. I've always been the silly type. Some people find it hard to take me seriously. Don't get me wrong though, I'm a stickler for romance, but sometimes my silliness gets the best of me. 

He laughs his adorable laugh, so based on his reaction to my silly personality, he can take my humor.

"Where did you go to high school?" Cam asks me.

 "Los Angeles High School out on West Olympic Boulevard. How about you?"

"Loyola High School. I haven't really done much since I graduated."

"Well uh... I haven't even graduated yet. It's been kind of hard to focus on school and attend classes when you've been on lock-down in that hospital. But I try my best to get through it and I should be graduating in a couple of weeks."

"Yea it must be tough. I've been kind of lost this past year trying to find my way and where I belong. I nearly didn't graduate because of my grades and I had issues with my attitude. Luckily, I made it through but barely skimming the surface. As you would believe, I didn't get into any decent colleges and really didn't plan on going anyways so I've been searching for where I belong in this world. I haven't made much progress and probably did more damage than good by staying around here..."

He looks away from me and out the window to the passing cars. I wonder if he's hinting towards his involvement in his mother's accident, which is still just a nightmare I had but has been incredibly persistent in my brain. 

I want to ask him so bad, but it is not my place and I will let him decide if there is something more he would like to tell me. I decide to break the silence.

"I've never really thought that far into my future. My parents went to college, my grandparents went to college, my brother is in college. College is a part of my family and I have always seen myself going to some prestige college ever since I was a little girl. But things changed. Immensely. And now I think my views are different. A year ago I was told I really didn't have too much time to live. I learned to accept that and never thought forward in life more than a few months. Cancer changes you. Physically and mentally. And now, if I do survive cancer, I don't think I have the same view as I did when I was a little girl. I don't know if I want to go to college. I want to travel and see the world and all of its beautiful people and places. There is so much for me to see and do before I'm gone so I want to make the most of my life." 

"That sounds amazing. There's more to life than education to me and really, I was never a good student or all that interested in history or science or any of that. I never really knew what I wanted to do or be and I'm trying my best to find just that while I can." Cam replies.

It's nice to talk about the future for once and actually see positivity and adventure ahead. I can't help but want to do all of these things with Cam. He has brought back some life to me. I don't think he realizes what a positive impact he has had on my life for the few weeks that I have known him. I will forever be grateful for the way he is making me feel right now.