Pink Floyd REACT.

Episode 1: Shrek Is Love, Shrek Is Life

Hey guys, welcome to the show!

Rick: *waves awkwardly* Hi!

Roger: Heyyy. *smiles*

David: *waves with a chuckle*

Nick: Hi guys!

Syd: HI GUYSSSS! HI NICK!

Nick: Uh, hi Syd-

Syd: ISN'T THIS GOING TO BE AWESOME?!

David: I hope so...

Roger: It depends on what she shows us.

Nick: I have a bad feeling about this...

Rick: Oh, but she's only a child! She won't present us to anything too absurd.

Oh so you think, Ricky!

Rick: H-Huh?

Roger: Wait, whaddya say to kitten...?

Nothing!

Rick: Why do you keep calling me 'kitten' Roger...?

Roger: Cause y'look like one, Ricky.

Rick: But-

Let's begin with video you're going to watch.

Rick: *sigh*

Roger: *snicker*

[Shrek Is Love, Shrek Is Life]

Roger: Okay... This kid's obsession with a cartoon character is... Creepy.

Nick: Awe, he's a Shrek fan! That's cute.

David: .... Is Shrek a religion? Like, Shrek-i-anity? Cuz I think that's what he believes in...

Syd: Whoaaaaaa, look all of that Shrek merch! Haha! Kid's obsessed, ain't he?

Rick: Wait why is he pray- *starts laughing really hard* Oh-Oh my god! Shrek is love, Shrek is life-AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I'M ONLY 30 SECONDS IN AND I'M DYING!

Roger: Oh, that's a brutal dad-OH SHIT HE DID NOT JUST CALL HIM A C*NT. Wait, wait, annnd there's the slap.

Nick: Awe, kid, nooo... He needs a nicer dad...

David: Jesus, what does his mom do? Slap him around too? Christ...

Syd: Pfft, daddy's got issues.

Rick: W-Wait, oh no! That's a disrespectful father who should be behind bars... *sighs*

Roger: Poor kid's crying now.... Look what you did dad-.... Wait, WHAT THE FUCK?!?! SHREK-IT'S JUST-HOW????????

Nick: .... I-Is that Shrek? Nah, this kid has to be dreaming.

David: .... Shrek has arrived.... And I'm creeped out.

Syd: HIS HERO IS HERE TO SAVE THE DAY!!!!

Rick: PFFFFT, SHREK?!?!

Roger: "This is my swamp"... What? What did he mean-OH SHIT THE KID'S ON HANDS AND KNEES.

Nick: *Watches wide eyed* No... No, he wouldn't no...

David: Shrek, don't... No, please, no....

Syd: WAIT IS SHREK ACTUALLY A PEDOPHILE OR SOMETHING?! SHREK DON'T DO IT!

Rick: *covers mouth* Ohmygod no... No, you aren't ready... Kid, you're only 9.

Roger: *slams head against table* Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuccckkkkkkk

Nick: This poor kid's having sex with Shrek! FUCKING SHREK!

David: *covers eyes* I can't watch, okay? I can't... This is so wrong.

Syd: *screams* MY INNOCENCE!!! WHYYYYYYY

Rick: IMGONNACRY... THIS IS SO WRONG! WHYWHYWHYWHY

Roger: Dad do something-wait, "it's all ogre now"??? WHAT THE LITERAL FUCK, HE'S FLYING OUT A WINDOW.... NO! SHREK ISN'T LOVE OR LIFE!

Nick: Dad, you're a bit too late... At least you didn't have to watch! ... Shrek is love, Shrek is life? More like, Shrek is wrong, Shrek should DIE!

David: ... And he's out the window... And the kid seems happy. Wow. Would that count as rape? He did like it, but seriously.

Syd: He's flying... Is Shrek Peter Pan now?? Shrek is love, Shrek is li-NO! KID NO! HE'S A PERV!

Rick: The poor thing... I'd be scarred for life if Shrek raped me-wait, Shrek is love, Shrek is life, of course. No. Kid, face the facts! He's a disgusting pedophile!

[Question time!]

Well, what'd you think of the video?

Roger: Fuck you, that's what.

Nick: I'm really, really confused and creeped out.

David: Ugghhh.....

Syd: Anyone have any bleach?

Rick: I'm scarred. I feel like my innocence is dripping away.

Did you know this originally started out as a fanfic?

Roger: Why am I not surprised... Fifty Shades of Gray was rape too, and look where that ended up! A movie!

Nick: Dear god, people... Where do you get these ideas?!

David: *long sigh*

Syd: Of course it did. *chuckles*

Rick: Oh... That makes sense.

Did you know there are sequels to the fanfic and video?

Roger: NO, BUT I'M NOT GONNA WATCH EM!

Nick: They must be Shrektastic... OKAYOKAYOKAYI'MSORRY! I DIDN'T SAY THAT I'M SORRY!

David: I'm gonna puke...

Syd: HOW MUCH YOU WANNA GIVE ME IF I WATCH THEM?!

Rick: *yelps* NO! NO PLEASE NO!

What do you say to your viewers?

Roger: Please... When you give us upcoming requests on what we should watch... Please don't do anything as stupid and wrong as this.

Nick: Please request better things...?

David: I have faith in you guys, please don't rape our eyes like this girl did.

Syd: REQUEST US SOME GROSS SHIT.

Rick: Request us something cuter! Like funny cat videos!

Well, that was episode one! Have an idea on what they should react to next? Post it in the comments! Thanks for reading!