The Mudblood

Chapter 50 : Year 3

A few weeks went by in which I spent a considerable amount of time with the Gryffindors while avoiding Draco Malfoy—due to my conflicted feelings—as well as avoiding Cedric Diggory—because of my conflicted feelings, and also just because I hated to watch him snog Cho Chang. Not as much as I'd hated watching Malfoy snog Astoria, but...that was different...

One afternoon in late April, I found myself sitting in the grass out by the lake practicing my Patronus. The silvery little honey badger pranced around on top of the gloomy lake as I attempted to muster happy memories.

Just as my Patronus began to wane with the same discord with which I suffered, someone came up from behind me and plopped down in the grass to my right.

"He's looking a bit dull," Ginny Weasley commented, studying the translucent honey badger as he slowly trudged back toward me.

"Wonder why," I grunted sarcastically as my Patronus retreated back into my wand.

"You know..." she began, glancing over at me hesitantly, "Hufflepuff's animal is a badger... Do you think that's why your Patronus is a honey badger? Because you fancy Cedric?"

I coughed, rubbing my throat. "Oh—I hope not. I think I'm actually getting over him...maybe... We haven't talked in months—not since our fight at the second task. I should be over him, shouldn't I?"

"I've had a crush on Harry since our first year, and I'm still not over it, so...not necessarily," she replied, staring pensively at the lake. "Seems like neither of us will ever be with who we fancy... All because of blasted Cho Chang..."

I let out a laugh as I thoughtlessly tossed a pebble into the lake. "We should start a Cho Chang hate club," I joked, throwing another rock. "Who else do you think would join?"

"The whole school, I suppose," Ginny replied, a wry smirk on her lips. "All of the girls, anyway. Cedric and Harry are the most popular boys at Hogwarts."

I snorted, shaking my head. "We're in over our heads—liking them. I don't know why I ever thought I could be with Cedric Diggory. I should have known. You know, it's been almost a year since I saved him and his wretched friends from that dementor. Right out here—right where we're sitting—and he let his friends harass me for it. I always should have known..."

"Sometimes we don't control our feelings, Lainey," Ginny insisted thoughtfully. "I mean—my crush on Harry started just because he was cute, but now that I know him—I can't stop myself."

I sighed, playing with another small rock I'd found in the grass. "Harry's a good person, though—it makes sense. Cedric...has always been a jerk. And I can't get over him. Even when I have someone else who I know is so much better for me—"

"Fred," Ginny coughed, giggling when I glared over at her.

I pursed my lips but didn't deny her assumption. "I'm just annoyed—with myself...for not being over Cedric. Slap me, please."

Ginny let out a laugh as she nudged my shoulder. "Will you date Fred if I do?"

"I will date Fred no matter what—once I'm over Cedric," I added, my smile fading slightly. "I just need...a bit more time. Maybe since he won't be at Hogwarts next year it'll be easier to move on. I just get so jealous when I see him snogging Cho—it's honestly fueling my feelings for him. Maybe if he wasn't such an annoying prick, I'd actually be able to stop liking him."

She giggled again, rolling her eyes. "You are the most convoluted person I know."

I snorted in amusement before chucking another rock into the lake. "Unfortunately, I know..."