HOLDING HANDS WITH HIM

Chapter 16: Suspicion

It was now March 29, 2016 and the past few months have been the best. I kept posting covers on YouTube, Valentines day was romantic but Kyle and I hate it cause everyday is Valentines Day for us, Christmas was funny because we got each other the exact same necklace and New Years was everything. We were sitting under the fireworks enjoying every moment of the moment. Over the past months Kayla's parents met her biological father and Kyle and they seem to be doing pretty well with getting along. Finals are coming up soon and everyone has been really stressed. Kyle, Kayla, and I have been studying together for two weeks and we're doing pretty good. The extra stress has been in Kyle and I because when we go out in public we have to watch the football team because they've been suspicious lately.

Kyle told me that the a couple of the football players started asking him who he hanged out with and if he was dating Kayla. He also told me that Marcus asked alot about me and that he feared for my safety. If Marcus asks questions about me then he obviously knows that Kyle and I hang out so kyle had to make up a story as to why we do. It's kind of sad that we're still hiding our relationship after all this time. I can't believe we managed to do that. I just hate that we're limited to doing things we want to do. God I hate being in the closet. It's so uncomfortable. The people close to me have accepted me but everybody isn't like that like my dad. I'm really tired of staying in the closet and at this point, I really don't care what people think because in the end I can live a free life. The last few days I've been down because of this and I'm tired. Kyle is in my room right now studying with me and I really want to say something about the whole thing.... before I could speak, he noticed a down look on my face and spoke...

Kyle: You okay?

Me: uhhhh, yeah I'm fine. ( I said with a confused smile)

Kyle: Are you sure there isn't anything you wanna talk about?

Me: Well, umm, I was thinking. Maybe we could come out, like publicly and not have to live in fear anymore.

Kyle. Umm. Yea. I get what you're saying... but.... I'm just not ready yet.

Me: oh. Well that's okay, I understand and I respect your decision.

Kyle: Look! I know this isn't how you wanted our relationship to be and I don't either. Things will get better. I'm just asking you to be patient, okay.

Me. Yeah, sure (I said with an uneasy look on my face)

He noticed the look on my face...a few seconds later he kissed me...

Kyle: Please, just be patient...for me.

I didn't respond and just kept studying.

Testing starts next week and spring break is right after, so I just need to clear my head of everything stressful except the test cause I really want to pass...
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   It was now April 8, 2016 and finals are finally over. Gosh, I'm so effing relieved. Like pounds after pounds have been lifted off my shoulders...and brain. I guess all of that studying paid off in the end because I feel really confident. Now I can sit back relax and enjoy spring break. I'll be writing music, hanging with friends, going to the beach and just living in the moment. The down part is that I want to go out and do things with Kyle more often. He hasn't been himself lately. We barely see each other and I'm worried.

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   I haven't talked to Kyle all of spring break. It's like he's been avoiding me and now I'm starting to question if I've done something wrong. I even asked Kayla if she talked to him or knows why he's been avoiding me. She doesn't know anything. I didn't look too into it because if Kyle needs time away, I have to respect that, but I want to be a good boyfriend and if something is wrong, I have to be able to help him. Maybe he's just busy with things. Hopefully things will get better in the future for both of us. I see him but he doesn'alk to me. He's been at home a lot and all I ever see is him looking miserable and his dad yelling at him which is unsettling.
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   It was now April 14, 2016. It's 12:00am. I couldn't sleep. My mom was working late and Hazel is out of town with her friends. I kept thinking about Kyle and if he was okay. My TV just stayed on Netflix the whole night. Right before I was about to close my eyes....the dorbell rings. I was pretty creeper out by who and why would someone be up this late. I made my way closer to the door and tried to take deep breaths. I asked who it was.... " It's Kyle" he said. I rushed to open the door and hugged him as tight as I could. As you guest I was so happy to see him, I started crying... then he begins to speak....."we need to talk". At this moment, I was horrified and confused.