HOLDING HANDS WITH HIM

Chapter 17: Closer

April 14, 2016

   There he was, just sitting on my bed with a sincere look on his face.  He looked like he wanted to say something but couldn't get the words out.....

Me: Look, I understand if you want to take a break, I know I've been a little pushy lately but---

He cut me off...

Kyle: No, that's not it...just stop talking for a bit..

After that there was awkward silence. During that time I noticed that he had bruises on his arms... This made me more terrified. I touched his arms...

Me: What happened? ( I said surprised)

Kyle: umm, There has been things going on in my personal life that I feel is embarrassing and ummm... (he said while looking down)

Me: (I pulled his head in the position of him looking directly into my eyes) Look at me! You can tell me anything. Who did this to you?

Kyle: (He looked at me with teary eyes) My....my dad did...and he's been doing it for two years.

After that he began to cry. I was so surprised. I didn't know what to do.

Me: Oh my god! When did all this start?

Kyle: well. Two years ago, my dad started drinking and I didn't know what reason. It just started out of nowhere, and during that time he seemed really depressed.  (He began sobbing more) He used to be such a good father and then (silence) he wasn't... At first it started out with light touching but overtime it just got even worse.

Me: Kyle. We have to call the police and tell them what he did.

Kyle: No, don't do that. He's a good person and a good father. See this is another reason I didn't want to tell people, because they don't know him and what he's like. Just promise me you won't say anything...

I was very confused about all of this. I want him to trust me but I don't want him to have to suffer through this abuse any longer...Then I thought that maybe his dad is a good person and just needs help, so I agreed to not say anything.

Kyle: Thanks...(he began smiling) you mind if I stay here tonight and shower?

Me: Sure.. No problem.

Kyle: well I'll go grab some clothes.

Me: Kyle, you can just borrow mine.

Kyle: Yeaaaaa... I don't think I'd fit those.. (he laughed) and plus my dad's knocked out so I'm safe.

   He went out the front door as I watched him go get some clothes and come back. It took him a while to do that and I was worried for him, but just as I was about to do something, I saw him coming from the side door of his house.
   We went back inside and I let him take a shower while I was in my room watching Netflix. I was watching The Originals which is like one of my favorite shows.
About 10-15 minutes later Kyle got out of the bathroom with just a towel wrapped around him. Oh god he left his clothes on my bed.
Instead of asking me to bring them to him, he just grabbed them off my bed. Before he dropped the towel, he told me no peaking.
Like I already knew what his body looked like but he insisted that I didn't peak.
He dropped the towel and I couldn't help myself and I just had to look. Oh my lord... He was sooo fine!! I just want to be on top of him so badly. Those abs, legs, butt, and arms had me sucked into a black hole in which I couldn't  escape. He put his clothes on and her turned around and caught me looking. He them smiled and climed into bed with me.

   It felt kind of awkward having a guy in my bed with me, especially after 12am. We just sat there and watched TV when it hit 1:00  I decided it was time to sleep so I turned off the TV and hooked my phone up to my speakers with the volume up to where only anyone in my room could hear. I had my Playlist called "The Feels" playing throughout my room. A few minutes past and I couldn't sleep. Just thinking about what Kyle is going through hurts me.

   I tried to sleep and it seemed like Kyle couldn't either.... and after a short while something happened.
Oh my god. I realized that he was spooning me. Like what was I suppose to think about this. And to make things more awkward, he was really hard. I could feel it. He was as hard as a rock. The sexual tension between us grew and before you know it, I was hard. I just thought to myself that this could not be happening l, but it was. I could feel him behind me kissing on my neck. God It felt so wrong but it made me feel so good. 
I slightly turned my head around and he began to kiss me passionately. I was now trapped and I couldn't pull away. He let me pull away so I could take my shorts off and he literally ripped my tshirt off. I dont know what was happening but it was like someone was taking over my body, and he was. I got on top of him and began kissing him somemore. I removed his shirt and then I started to ask myslef,"Do really want to do this now?" I then removed his shorts and he flipped me over. He traveled down to my underwear. He licked my chest and made his way down. Before he could take off my underwear I spoke...

Me: stop

Kyle: Haha, we can't stop now
(He kissed me)

Me: No, I'm serious, please just stop!

Kyle: Oh. I thought this is what you wanted.

Me: Yeah, but not like this. Kyle, when we do this, I want you to be happy you're not right now. I want our first time to be perfect and this just isn't. (I looked down) plus I realized that I'm not ready.

Kyle: uhh. Yeah, I understand. I was unsure about my first time too.

Me: Tell me about that.

Kyle: Well it was the summer before I moved here and her name was Natalie. She was my best friend and when I told her I was moving she was devastated. We wanted to stay connected forever so she was my first and I was hers. I was unsure at first but overtime I felt completed and now she's with me all the time. She's such a good friend. She was sweet, funny, and a dare devil.

Me: haha, she seems fun. Don't get me wrong, I really wanted to, but I just couldn't

Kyle: yeah. Look, I don't want to pressure you into something you don't want to do, but when you're ready, I'll be here.

   I smiled, kissed him, put my clothes back on. We were pretty much gonna be up all night so I turned the TV back on. Tonight was the closest I've ever gotten to him and it couldn't have been more perfect.....wait, no I'm still waiting for that day.