✔Sᴇx. ✔Aʟᴄᴏʜᴏʟ. ✔Dʀᴜɢs.
That got your attention, didn't it?
Don't be shy or afraid that you were lured in by such naughty words that make dear mommy and daddy mad. You clicked, you picked, and that could only mean you, the reader, was interested in...
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Believe it or not, there's some class to being a fuckboy.
Though, with too much class you become a player, and if you become a player you might as well ditch high school, go back to the kiddy pool, and put on your little dinosaur floaties. Please, no one needs another player.
They don't need another man whore either.
One does not simply throw away all their dignity and sleep around with anything that has a damn pulse. Doing so will make you reek of desperation, and we all know that you can't be a part of the popular elite with that kind of stank messing up your vibe.
Being a fuckboy is all about balance, which leads us to our first and most vital step.
Step 1: Sell your soul and some dignity.
Use your brain cells and don't be stupid. Take selling your soul in a metaphorical sense; there is no 'Almighty God of the Fuckboys' to sacrifice your spirit to. You could only wish for it to be that easy. What we at Teenager's Guide To Inc.® mean is that becoming a fuckboy requires dedication.
You have to 'sell your soul' to your craft, per se.
Take notice of the keyword 'some'. To help you remember, we comprised this little jingle for you: "man whores are shown out the back door and players are geeks with fake layers".
Now that we have successfully established the difference between man whores, players, and fuckboys, let us finally get into the business that all of you came here for. Welcome, to the Teenager's Guide on How to be a Fuckboy.
No need to question the success rate of this book. This guide is sure to guarantee you an absolute transformation. Many, if not all, of the most renowned fuckboys in history have used this guide. Thinking of the fuckboy you saw post disturbingly raunchy but attractive, half-naked pictures on Instagram last week? He used this guide, so now ask yourself if this guide worked for him. Of course, it has; you just drooled a bit there.
If that was not enough to persuade you, we have millions of satisfied customers, and our fuckboy population is growing exponentially- as you may have seen with your own eyes. Soon, your own local high school or college will be littered with them.
But, do not fear. In no time, you will be turned into the most hated but appallingly adored fuckboy. Or, if you are simply a bystander that is interested in the process of how one is to become a fuckboy, welcome aboard. There is plenty of room on this fuckboy bandwagon.
We, at Teenager's Guide On Inc.®, only care about your customer satisfaction.
So, not only have we spent thousands of dollars in research- observing fuckboys in their natural habitat, collecting data from Tinder, and recording thousands upon thousands of key fuckboy habits shown in countless TV romances and cliché books, we have also made it to where we can satisfy both the learner and curious reader.
In your best interest, we have coursed through countless of testimonials and plucked one that is of standard issue. And, since we believe that wisdom and knowledge are often best obtained when told as a story, we shall provide you the real and authentic tale of a weasely, small town boy named Mason Shaw.
If this oversized wireframe glasses wearer, shiny-headed buzzcut owner, and fashion wardrobe destroyer can turn into a fuckboy, so can you!
Here at Teenager's Guide On Inc.®, we believe in honesty and integrity. What we provide you is nothing short of exemplary: series of live, detailed documentations, thorough investigations, all day and all night tracking, and complicated, extensive field work, unbeknownst to our subjects for an accurate portrayal of fuckboy transformations.
We receive many questions regarding our procedures, but this tends to be asked the most frequently: "Is what you are doing legal?"
Our methods of study are quite complicated, but we shall do our best to address your concerns and explain in the shortest and most simplified sense possible.
The fewer questions you ask the better.
Simply rest assured that if you follow the footsteps our subject Mason Shaw, you will find yourself on the doorsteps of popularity and greeted by trivial, adolescent success.
All you, the reader, has to do is dirty the closest table with your feet, keep your poisonous, basic bitch Starbuck's mocha frappuccino with extra whip cream in hand, and enjoy the retold events and narrative of Mason Shaw.
Open your souls, hearts, ears, and eyes to gain this much-needed wisdom on how to become a fuckboy.
With best regards,
Teenager's Guide On Inc.®
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A/N
am i edgy and cool yet
vote it up if you think so and if not do it anyway lmfao. stop playin hard to get
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