Letters To Michael

twelve

+Dani+
May 17th; 8:17am

Two years of misery, of pain, all over a boy who cant seem to sit down for five minutes and write me a damn letter reassuring our friendship.

I will admit, I love Michael, even after all of the pain he's put me through, I'll never stop loving him, even in death.

He's on my mind every morning I wake up and every night I go to bed. He's just always there, even when I don't want him, even when he's put me through so much bullshit I still love him and I hate it.

I laid in bed, starring at the ceiling, reaching over to the side of me nightstand, feeling the bottle of pills enter my palm. I winced at the thought of Michael never writing back to me, especially because it's been two years.

You'd think he'd actually care enough to write back wouldn't you?

I guess not.

I held the bottle tightly, feeling if I added anymore pressure, the bottle would burst in my hand.

I sat up in bed, crossed my legs under the sheets and opened the bottle, spreading the pills across my sheets.

I grabbed the glass of water on the nightstand and took a fist full of pills.

I started to cry, but my crying turned into pity laughing. I looked up at the ceiling again and rolled my eyes. "This is for you Michael Gordon Clifford, for not keeping your promise."

-

+Michael+
May 17th; 8:00am

I was in a rush, I just touched down in the Sydney airport, full of anxiety. Dani never wrote back, I'd been a few weeks, I thought maybe she just hadn't had the time to write back, but my biggest fear is she never got my letter.

I sprinted through the airport, out to my taxi outside of the entrance. "To this address, as quickly as possible, please!" I spoke, showing the driver Dani's address. The man must have seen the panic in my eyes, because he didn't hesitate.

I felt as if I was going to pass out, minutes going by felt like hours. What if I didn't make it in time? I kept thinking. She could die because of me.

I felt sick, I looked at the clock in the taxi and it read 8:12am. "Can we please go faster this is an emergency." I said and the driver sped up.

"Going as fast as I can mate, I don't wanna get pulled over." The driver notified me.

I sighed out loud in anger, frustration and disappointment. I wasn't disappointed in Dani, but in myself. I put this upon myself. I was the one to tell management I didn't want connection with anyone back home, not until I was ready. I thought Dani would understand that, but I always forget how fragile she is, I treated her like she was nothing to me, when she is actually everything.

8:16am the clock read, finally the driver pulled over and unlocked the car. "Thank you." I literally threw the money at the man, rushing out of the car and up into the apartment buildings.

118, 118, I kept saying in my head, sprinting up the stairs until I reached Dani's room. 8:17am.

The door was unlocked, I rushed inside and called her name. "Dani!" I yelled, no answer.