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Chapter 25

Tyler Emery

I stared out of Charlotte's windows, watching the silhouette that was Ric move about his room. He seemed to be full of nervous energy, sometimes pacing, other times sitting in a chair for a moment before leaping up again. A few times he disappeared, probably to go down stairs or into a room that was deeper in the house, but he always came back. I wondered if he had ever stood at his window and watched Charlie, as she read her books, did her homework, maybe even get dressed.

The thought sent fire through my brain, blazing and hot, and I spun away from the window, feeling my hands tighten into fists. It had been a week since I became Charlie's guardian angel, a week that felt longer than my whole life spent on Earth. She'd already had several mental breakdowns, missed school because she was too depressed to go, and been basically sexually assaulted. I could almost feel Mr. Davis looking down at me with contempt from his high place in heaven, knowing that I could do better, but somehow expecting nothing less from the screw up that I grew to be. The screw up that kept trying to save Charlie with no visible success.

Charlie was sitting on her bed, her earbuds in and her hands running over old notebooks she had pulled from the bookshelf on the right side of her bed. We hadn't done much of anything since we got home from the port on Saturday. On Sunday, her dad made a feast of French toast complete with honey, strawberries, and almonds to put on top. The very sight made my mouth water even though I had no earthly needs anymore. Then the family spent the day on the floor of the living room, mugs of coffee, tea, and hot chocolate nestled in their hands as they watched old movies in black and white. I thought that her parents would explain to Charlie what was going on, but she seemed content to just sit there and listen to the dialogue and sound effects. I found the whole thing incredibly boring and stupid because they made colored TV and colored movies for a reason: the old stuff sucked. I spent the whole day gathering the energy to play with Charlie's hair for a few seconds, then waiting for my energy to return to me so that I could do it again. I knew that I'd have to go to the Darkness again soon, especially since I touched her cheek on the dock, but I wanted to avoid it for as long as possible, simply because the Darkness scared me, terrified me more than I would ever admit, mostly because I was almost entirely sure that that's what my future will be when they finally realize that I suck both as a human and an angel, and they find someone whose feelings for Charlie don't cloud their judgement when protecting her.

We went to school today and it was even more boring than the black and white movie marathon. I was constantly struck with how different Maryland was from Georgia. Where were all the trucks covered in mud? The people that held doors open for each other? The smiles of greeting to people you didn't even know? Maryland was a much colder place, and not just in temperature. The people were stony, like those faceless mannequins in stores. It made me wonder why Charlie's mom ever chose to leave the land of the endless trees for the land of the endless glares.

I suddenly felt suffocated, like the walls were closing in. All week I had been following Charlotte around like a lap dog on a leash, watching her eat food, watching her read books, watching her blatantly ignore doing work in class. I wanted to do something for me, to go somewhere for me, to maybe pretend for a moment that I was back where my heart and body were buried.

I fled Charlotte's room through her open bedroom door and down the stairs at a jackrabbit pace. The pessimistic, angry part of me noted that I should be causing a great deal of thumps and thuds on my way down, but the only sound that could be heard was Mr. O'Brien's humming as he loaded the dishwasher. Getting outside was another issue; I was incredibly weak and didn't have much in me to focus my energy. I hovered around Mr. O'Brien, following him closely as he finished up the dishes and wiped down the counters. My nerves were hiking up, and I was about to call it quits and head back upstairs to another boring night in Charlotte's room, when it seemed like Heaven was shining down on me for the first time ever.