Until Tomorrow

Day 4 of 21

Day 4 of 21- I woke up to the sound of goats and I was quite surprised but I dreaded waking up because it meant a whole new day of whole new adventures that I didn't look forward to and it all started during breakfast when I was told what I could and could not eat. I mean what if I wanted ham instead of sausage and who are you to make my decisions for me, we were then taken to my grandma's guest house in which I looked forward to, but we made a detour into someone's yard to pick mangos and my brother saw chickens (mind you this is his first time around free range farm animals so all he knows is stuff he's seen in movies) and he was scared to get the car because he thought a chicken might attack (sounds stupid I know) but instead of telling him nicely that chickens are harmless, he is called stupid by my grandfather and is yelled at to get out the car. I almost said something but I wasn't in the mood to get barked at. We went to the villas and saw a room, disgusting might I add, and we had to go to the store to get stuff for the room, in New York we don't really leave the car, our mom just runs in to get stuff and we stay. In Trinidad. we do the same I thought so we only got out the car when we were invited out the car, excuse us, but instead of inviting us out the car we were called lost and were told "you kids does just be lost"'...ok. We got back home and by that time the both of us had had enough, but I'm guessing grandad hadn't. I was told to go and tell him the sheets needed washing, I tell him and he tells me go wash them...ok (another America reference) so in New York I'm used to putting the sheets in the machine and pouring the detergent in a little container and closing it but since Trinidad is behind in any and everything that wasn't the case and no life wasn't easy. Instead of teaching me how to use an old fashioned washing machine, I was told that I'm not making it through college, so yes I went back inside the house and was asked a question by my grandma, and yes my brother did see the tears in my eyes, and yes I went into the bathroom and cried, and yes that man did make a sarcastic remark when I just so happened to know how to dry clothes. Suffice to say, I'd rather be in New York than to receive mental abuse from a man who knows nothing of affection being that his children left him. I used to feel sorry for this man but I see now he's just miserable and takes it out on everyone, buys his way into the family giving us gifts and making it seem like he's the good guy but 4 days in and you already know who he is. I didn't think much about those letters, I just went deeper into memory with a few of those excerpts I remembered and thought about when it was actually going on and how I didn't even notice. I missed my mom more than ever. I think I'll just find a way to get shipped back to New York. I watched a movie on the Trinidad version of Lifetime today and it said "first you take a step, then walk, then jog, second by second, minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day, sleep, repeat. I then noticed that everyday I look forward to 11pm just so I could sleep off the day and I would be one day closer to going home and if that's what it takes then that's what I'll do. Until Tomorrow