All my life I was taught that God had a plan for me.
But this time he didn't.
This boy was slowly turning me into the sinner I had always been afraid of.
The drive back home was quiet, as always. The only background noise coming from the car radio. I glanced at my dad and couldn't help to think what he thought about Brendon. He was a pastor, but there were a few traits of his he didn't like to show. Like I knew he secretly supported gay marriage. He believed in equality for everyone. Sometimes I would hear him cuss when he dropped his mug or swerve into the wrong street while he was driving. He had a bad temper. Which is why I did most of the driving. He kind of reminded me of myself, what if he also was sick of being this "role model", I couldn't imagine the pressure and responsibilities that came with being the pastor.
God answered my prayers and didn't make my parents open up a conversation about Brendon. That was absolutely the last thing I wanted to talk about. Even though I was thinking of him throughout the whole car ride home.
I turned into our driveway and my father angrily reminded me to turn on my indicators as I was turning left, but there was no point. It was little things like this that made me somehow wish he was more easy going.
It kind of bothered me that I still lived with my parents at 21. I always imagined I would be like the protagonist in an early 2000s movie, fulfilling my dreams of moving into a New York apartment, interning for fashion magazines. That dream kind of deflated as I grew older because I found out my father didn't believe in "moving out". The only time I was allowed to move out was when I eventually got married. And even then, it would have to be a house in my parent's same town. They were very protective. But all parents were. Right?
I placed the car keys on the table and went upstairs, I could not wait to call my mother and tell her what happened today.
I took off my shoes, placed them neatly next to my dresser and jumped onto my bed. I unlocked my phone and tapped on her number. I had labelled her name as Tutor, so my father wouldn't find out.
I listened to it ring three times before she picked up.
"Hi! What's up?" She said.
"Nothing much, what about you?" I said.
"I kicked Glen out, he was being a pain. You sound excited, is there something you want to tell me?" She said.
"Well excited isn't really the word. More like anxious and confused." I replied.
"Oh? What's wrong?"
"I saw this boy today and he kept staring at me, it was weird."
"What do you mean weird? Was he cute?"
"Yeah, he was good looking and all but I feel like he would be a bad influence on me."
"How?"
"I just felt like he hadn't completely dedicated his life to religion at all. And he kept giving me sinful looks."
"Oh my god Sarah. Cut out that religion crap. He's a boy. You're beautiful, of course he's going to give you looks. It's science."
"I don't like him though. I only think he's cute."
"Yeah well don't rush things. But don't let religion get in the way seriously. Follow what your heart tells you."
"Ok. I'll see what happens."
I heard my dad call my name from downstairs.
"I have to go Ma, talk to you later?" I said.
"Sure honey, toodles!" She said.
"Goodbye." I hung up and made my way downstairs.
My father sat on the couch, phone in his hand.
"Do you have work tomorrow?" He asked.
"No. Why?" I replied.
"The Urie family is coming over for dinner." He said.
"Oh..ok." I said.
Crap. How could I forget? I had never hated being a pastor's daughter so much as I did right in that moment. Of course every family that moved in town had to get to know the pastor. My father always invited people over for dinner. I really wished I had told him that I had work. I would've went over to Tyler's or something.
I went back upstairs and buried my face into my pillow. I gritted my teeth and closed my eyes shut. I really wanted to cuss but I didn't have the courage to do it.
"Shit"
Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit.
I sat up. I was acting like a child. I had to handle all of this in a formal manner. I wasn't going to let a silly little crush completely destroy me. I had never fancied anyone in real life. If you counted Dean Winchester as real life then yeah sure, but that was it.
I opened my wardrobe and looked at my clothes. All my clothes consisted of dresses, skirts, boring t-shirts and two pairs of jeans. I rarely wore jeans, unless I was running a charity stall or something. I hated my legs, and the thought of people seeing the shape of them made me uncomfortable. I picked out my shortest dress, which was 3 inches above my knees. I had only worn this dress once and it was for prom. I don't even know how my dad let me out of the house wearing it. I really hoped that tomorrow he would make an exception because I really wanted to wear it for this dinner. It was black, shaped my waist nicely, and flared out. It showed off my collarbone but not too much. I didn't want my father to think I was trying to impress anyone.
But was I? Why did I immediately pick out this dress? Was it because I wanted to impress Brendon? No. I cleared that thought from my head. I wanted to wear this purely because I felt like it. I lay the dress on my chair as I picked up my phone. I found a text from Tyler.
Tyler ,,,(found him;))
He sent me a link and I clicked on it, leading me to another page. It was a Facebook page. Goddamn Tyler.
There it was in bold letters. Brendon Urie
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Every inch of me wanted to scroll down, but I felt like an overly obsessed stalker. Besides, it wasn't like I actually liked him.
