THIS IS NOT GOSPEL • (Brendon Urie)

Chapter 5 • Tinted Windows

*1 week later*

I called Tyler to see where he was. But whenever I tried to dial his phone number, it would go straight to voicemail. He was probably with Jenna. I absolutely did not want to go to church today, and I was so surprised with myself. Why didn't I want to go? How could I even carry the thought of not going? I had to do what was right so I put on my dress and tied the silky ribbon behind my back.

As I went downstairs my father was quiet. I picked up the keys and went to start up the car. It had been like this for a week. He wouldn't speak to me. Ever since what had happened last week. It wasn't like him at all. I never knew he would be like this. I had never seen him this way before. I guess my mother really bothered him.

This whole silent treatment broke off halfway through our car ride to the church. My father turned down the stereo and sighed.
"I'm sorry." He said.
I stayed quiet. I really didn't want to say anything. But my forgiveness was a curse. I had never been able to hold a grudge against someone, ever. I remember this girl at my school who spread rumours that I was a bastard child. Everybody would call my mother a whore. My father was so upset when he found out, some families visited him and told him that they no longer could attend his service at the church. I was then home schooled. In the end, the girl admitted that it was only a lie and everything went back to normal. I forgave her. I hated it. I hated that it was my weakness. Forgiving people so easily made me a weak target.

"I forgive you." I said bluntly. I turned up the stereo and the car was filled with music again. My stepmother quietly sat in the background. She gave me a nod as I made eye contact with her in the rear view mirror. I turned into the carpark and parked the car. I sat still, even after my parents got out of the car.

"You coming?" My stepmother said.

"Yeah, I'll be up there in a minute." I said.

"Alright." She said, closing the car door.

I wanted to sit here until the service was done and everyone went home. I did not want to go in. And I did not want to see Brendon. I had been urging to send him a message on Facebook just to apologise for what had happened, but I never did. And honestly, I was glad that I didn't. I wanted nothing to do with him at all. He probably wasn't even a virgin. I flinched at the thought. I felt sorry for his parents.

I saw a car park next to mine. Brendon's face was visible in my peripheral vision. He parked his car and his parents got out, leaving him in there. Thank god my windows were tinted. My windscreen however, wasn't. Brendon's dad saw me from the windscreen and waved at me. I forced a smile back, trying to bury myself into my seat. Brendon looked over at my car, puzzled as to why his father was waving at an empty parked car. He ran his fingers through his hair, his other hands drumming on the steering wheel. He looked at himself in the side-view mirror. I just sat there and admired him, I didn't even realise I was doing it. In fact I was so caught up with Brendon I did not even notice the passenger car door open.

"What are you staring at?" I heard someone say.

I turned to see Tyler seated next to me.

"Nothing. I was just trying to see if my side view mirror was adjusted right." I said.

What a terrible lie. If it was a lie I had told my father, it would pass through, but Tyler, nothing passed through Tyler.

"Yeah sure, and my mother is Sarah Jessica Parker. Now why don't you move and let me see what you're staring at." He pushed me back, his eyes widening as he saw Brendon.

"Oh. Him." He said, he looked unimpressed. Almost as if he was hoping to find something more interesting.

Brendon turned on his car, bringing the engine to life.

"Where is he going?" Tyler asked.

"I don't know and I don't care." I replied.

But before I could do anything else, Tyler rolled down my window, causing Brendon to look our way.
Oh my god the embarrassment.

"Not joining service today?" Tyler asked.

"Not today." Brendon said, giving him a reassuring smile.

I looked straight ahead, and I could feel his eyes on me.

"Oh, is the pastor's daughter too religious to speak to a heathen?" He said. Was he tormenting me?

"Not today." I replied, unbuckling my seat belt and stepping out of my car. Why did I even say that? I wasn't angry at him.

"Have a nice day." Brendon replied, waving at Tyler.

Tyler waved back and watched Brendon as he pulled out of his parking spot.