Lakeside

[8] The Rooftop

My eyes flashed open in the middle of the night for some strange reason. I can see the moonlight streaming through my windows, creating a blue hue in the dark room. I thought of the possibility of going up to the rooftop to open Brooke's next letter alone, as I did every night for this last week and a half. I always had the courage to get up and do it in the middle of the night, but I never went in the day. Maybe I had an alter-ego that only came out in the night, or maybe I was just weird.

I ripped the sheets off my body, heading over to my closet to put on a softball tournament sweater. I was wearing that and soft shorts with my hair up in a messy bun. It was 2:46 AM. I opened the window in my room, crawling my way out of it and climbing higher on the roof. At the peak, I saw another note taped in packaging tape on the chimney. I tore it off, opening the note quickly and sitting down on the roof, using the moon for light.

Dear Gabrielle Miller,
This note may... Hurt. But I'm sure you were hurt by the last few notes, so this might not be any different. This just might hit you in a different way.
This one is about my "best friend" and no, it's not about you. You did nothing to hurt me and make me feel the need to kill myself. But this girl, Gracelyn Ambers, was who I called my best friend as well. Of course, she was nothing compared to you. At first, the only reason we liked each other is because we had the same interests, similar life problems and we hated the same people. Other than that, we had nothing in common. But after a while... Stuff happened. But that's a story for next time. She and I bonded over Delivigne, and that's what ignited our friendship. We wore the same clothes, we both did the same things for fun, things you'd never do in a million years. I guess I thought of her as my best friend because she understood why I did the things I did. Sometimes she loaned me her cigarettes when I didn't have any, and with our other friends we went adventuring at midnight to forbidden places, stole liquor from the drug store, things I shouldn't have done. Grace was the one to introduce me to that time in my life freshman year. When you and I went our separate ways but kept close, Grace was the one to show me all the things I never knew I loved. And she was amazing, but then she started making new friends.
In the beginning of junior year, she befriended Deviligne. Oops, I guess I meant to write Delivigne. Anyways, they became close friends, and I talked to Grace about it. She told me we were being judgmental and that "Del" wasn't who we thought she was. And for that, I fought with her until we decided we wouldn't be friends anymore. That's something I would never let happen to us.
A few weeks later, she came back to apologize. And accepting her apology was a huge mistake. In that time, Delivigne brain washed Grace. I didn't know it, but my "friend" Gracelyn was manipulating me. She became the "keep your friends close and your enemies closer" friend, all because Delivigne made her think she was the friend and I was the enemy, and maybe I was. She had all my secrets, even ones I didn't tell you, and I'm sorry I kept those secrets from you. You deserved to know more than she did, and on the back of this sheet are all the secrets I never told you, besides the ones in the notes that you'll read. But what Grace did to me was terrible, and I really can't speak too much because I did something to her before this all happened, but again, that is for the next note. You heard about the scandal. You listened to the anonymous audio recording on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram. You tuned in to the way I described having sex with Amelio Roberts, a senior. And you also heard that all Amelio had to say about me was "she's okay." This was the start of my downward spiral. Grace swore to me that she wasn't the one who recorded it, that it had to be someone else. And it could have been, because that night that I shared everything, I was hanging out with Grace and Delivigne. This whole recording sparked negativity, and every social media site I opened I was being called a whore, a slut, anything you can think of. I felt humiliated, and I was hurting. I cried myself to sleep every single night because I couldn't go anywhere without it being brought up. What I did to her was bad, but this was worse because I started to fall into depression. I was convinced that it was Delivigne who did that to me until one night I was outside on a balcony at Terrek's party, smoking a joint with him. He asked me if I was okay and how everything was going. I told him the truth: it wasn't good. His words after that were "I've been waiting to tell you this, Brooke. Grace was talking to us before this thing happened, and she sounded like a... Like a different person, almost brain washed. What she said to us was 'listen to this! I'm going to leak this all over the internet tomorrow.' And she showed us the video." After that, I ran downstairs to find Grace in a fit of fury. On the way down, I got booed from all the boys and girls and you could hear the occasional "Whore!" or "Slut!" in the audience. I finally reached Grace, and I said "Can I borrow your phone for a minute? Mine died and I need to call Brielle." And she handed me her phone with a shaky hand, swallowing a lump in her throat as she did. I didn't even need to look in her camera roll to know she did it, but I did anyways. I locked myself in the bathroom, listened to it and cried the whole way through. In this version, the phone was secretly set up to look at me. I was using hand gestures and I had facial expressions, and you could hear the girls in the back snickering. In the one on the internet, everything was black and all you heard was my voice.
After that party, I went home. And I regret that, because I should have gone to you. You were always the best friend everyone else deserved, but after I replaced you with a shitty friend, I didn't deserve you as my best friend. You were still there for me, though.
Your next clue is: "The Magical Fairy Kingdom."
Brooklyn Germane, May 28th, 2016