Lakeside

[16] The Green Ray Forest

After my parents leave, I reread Brooke's letter from the stage. Surprisingly, it stayed pretty dry in the satchel of the bike. Reading it this time made me feel more than it did last time for some reason. Maybe it was because my mood wasn't the same as it was yesterday while reading it.

I want to rip the note up in anger. I don't hate people, truly. Deep down, I don't hate anyone. I just don't like that word, even though I may use it. I strongly dislike people. But this Terrek guy, I definitely had a burning hatred for. Even if she's dead now, you always have this protective side of you when it comes to boys. If I had known about this earlier, who knows what I would have done.

Instead, I go downstairs. The emptiness of the cabin feels weird. There are always people around in the cabin, even if they aren't in it you just feel the presence. And now I was all alone.

The sunlight was streaming through the windows, lighting up the room as always. It was a beautiful day, even after that horrific storm last night. The lake was beautiful, and I thought of the previous day. It was so fun getting to swim with Ash and tell him the wonders of that dock. I realized after we left that I had told so many stories about Brooke, yet I didn't feel upset at all. I wonder now if it was just Ash's vibe or that I was finally... Over it.

I walked out the back door letting the screen door slam. I walked to my right where the Green Ray Forest was, just a small group of short trees with vibrant green leaves. It was the cluster of trees I chucked the stone with rhinestones on it in the beginning of the trip. I hoped that maybe in the process of looking for the letter, I'd find the stone too.

I wandered around, looking at every single tree and rock to see if the note was there, but it wasn't. After a while, I started to get frustrated. I couldn't find either of the things I came out to look for, and it had been twenty minutes of just pacing around in that small group of trees.

Finally I just sat down and leaned up against a thin Aspen tree. I tilted my head back, closed my eyes and sighed. Then I put my hand around my face as I grumbled even more. I don't know how long I sit there, but it's long enough to start contemplating every decision I've been making lately. Should I really be telling Ash that I don't want to start things? Should I really still be mad at my brother for picking his cheating girlfriend over his own sister? Should I be letting my parents leave me to find my so called "missing" brother?

Before I can think of any questions to think about, someone sits down next to me. I have a good feeling who it is, and I really don't want to open my eyes, so I don't. I act as though I haven't even noticed them.

"I got your letter." He says flatly with a strain in his voice. I take a deep sigh without moving.

"Listen, Ash─"

"No, let's not talk about it." The strain is still in his voice. My chest tightens at his tone. "Have you found it yet?"

"No." I reply flatly. I'm scared to talk to him. I feel like maybe even if we try and get past this, we'll both always have urges to kiss each other, and then we'll both think about why were not together and that is all my fault. I possibly ruined my entire relationship with Ash.

"Then why are you sitting here?"

"I'm questioning a lot of things right now." I tell truthfully.

"Is letting your parents leave something you're questioning?" I don't ask how he knows that my parents left. It's a small lake. Everyone knows everything the instant it happens.

"Possibly. I wonder if I am just being dramatic. Maybe I should give my brother another chance even though he doesn't deserve it."

"Sorry to say Brielle, but I don't think he's going to accept it. He chose her for a reason, and obviously to him it was a good enough reason to just... Erase you from his life." Ash breaks it to me, and I open my eyes to this realization.