DNA

Chapter 16

I screwed it all up with my overreaction. I know I did, because we went from laughing, kissing and splashing to once again – cold and distant behaviour. It’s all my fault and I literally want to punch myself. I don’t even know why I got so scared, he was being nothing but extremely gentle with me.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad I stopped him, I just should have done it in a much better way.

We’re sitting on the beach, wrapped in towels. I’m eating Jelly Tots and watching little kids play and Zayn is texting someone and drinking beer. We’re sitting next to each other, but it feels like we’re much more far away. I just want to hug him like I did in the water, but I’m afraid of his rejection.

“Zayn?”

“Yeah?”

“What’s over there? Why is nobody swimming in that area?” I ask and point him a certain area on our right.

“That area is full of big, sharp rocks, so it’s not safe to swim there, but it’s a nice place for walking.” he informs me, getting back to his phone. He is annoying me so much with that bloody phone that I have the urge to yell at him because of it, but I can’t, because I’m the guilty one this time.

“Will you show me?” I’m ready on literally anything just to separate him from his phone.

“Show you what?”

Is he even listening to me?

“My grandma’s underwear, Zayn.” I say before I can control myself and he looks at me before he bursts in laugh. He stands up and puts on his jeans.

“I’m just messing with you, let’s go. You might wanna put some clothes on, it can be a bit windy there.” he says as he waits for me to dress up. I put on my denim shorts, just like him, only I wasn’t topless, I had the upper part of my bikini on.

He sighs and pulls something out of his bag, before throwing it to me. It’s one his numerous black hoodies and I catch it before it falls on the sand. I’m confused, but I still put it on.

“Trust me, you’ll need it.” he says, as usual, answering my thoughts.

“You’re not wearing anything, aren’t you going to be cold?” I ask him as we start walking.

“Not really, that’s why I put my jeans on.” he says and I’m wondering if he really won’t need it or is he just acting tough. Knowing Zayn, it’s probably kind of both.

I have only worn his leather jacket before, but I love wearing his clothes. His clothes is always warm and it has his scent. Once we are in the forbidden area for swimmers, I realise that Zayn was right. It’s a completely different temperature here.

It’s not freezing, but it’s windy and I’m thankful that he made me wear his hoodie. I keep watching his torso, looking for signs of cold, but he doesn’t seem like he’s cold at all.

“Good comeback, by the way. I definitely wasn’t expecting your grandma’s underwear.” he suddenly says and we both crack.

When I said that it’s different here, it truly was in all aspects. Our previous place on the beach was surrounded by a lot of people, kids running around and screaming, waves were hitting the seaside. Here, it was much calmer. The water was calm, weather was colder and we were alone.

Even if he was a bit more relaxed because of my lame joke, now it’s all gone. He’s back to being distant and cold Zayn. I’m thinking of ways how to break it to him and then I decide to be direct.

“Zayn, just because I got scared for no reason before, doesn’t mean that I don’t want you to touch me ever again.” I can’t believe I’m actually brave enough to say this so directly to him, but I am. I can tell that I caught him off guard and I’m glad I did. Otherwise, I’d never make him talk.