Life On The Inside

Chapter 11

It didn't take long before he was given his medication. He had to take three tablets, twice a day. The man stayed in the psychiatric ward for several more weeks. His second year as a prisoner was coming to an end. He had also received news from Natalie. She wasn't able to see him but would do her best to scrape enough money together so she could.

It was fairly cold that night. The man did his daily routine. Walking around the ward, going to the library and reading the books there. He could read books in an instant. It would take him perhaps a week to finish a trilogy of books. However, he was still bored. They wouldn't allow him to watch tv or even have a tv because of his incarceration. Her preferred not to. Anything was better than prison to the man now.

Time passed slowly. The hours crawled by, so did the days, the weeks, the months. It was July. The third year of his three hundred year sentence. One morning he was told he had a visitor. He didn't know who it was but nonetheless he was excited but not for long.

It was the warden from Ironstate. "Right. Now then inmate. I've spoken to the doctors. You're to be coming back to prison tomorrow. General population. Okay? Marvellous." The warden left abruptly not giving the man a chance to speak. Back to prison? I was told my mental health was too poor to return. The man's body washed over with dread and fear. His stomach felt empty. His hands were numb. He didn't want to go back to prison. He thought he wasn't. "So you're an inmate?" A women two beds to his right asked. The man nodded. "I'm sorry. How long are you in for?" She stood up and walked over to him. "I'm doing life... Seven time over." Shivers rushed down the man's spine. His arms suddenly had very strong pins and needles.

He hoped time would slow down, just for him to enjoy the last bit of freedom he had. It didn't. The day flew by at the speed of light. Night time approached. The man couldn't sleep. That same dread which washed over his body, stayed there all through the night. He eventually just passed out from exhaustion.

It was around 09:20am, the man was fast asleep. A couple of COs from the prison had arrived to take him back. "Wake up sunshine. Get your jumpsuit on." The man woke up suddenly. He thought it was just a dream, but it wasn't. The reality of what was happening finally hit him. He was definitely going back to prison. The jumpsuit was thrown at him before being left alone to change. He did just that. Each movement was slow and painful. Mentally. The reality of what was happening struck again and again and again. He finally had the jumpsuit on.

A couple of doctors turned up to do their morning checks on the man. "Hey what's going on? This patient isn't fit to leave." The warden had turned up, "excuse me doctors I have explicit permission to bring this inmate back to prison. So if you would so kindly step away so we can escort him." The doctor scoffed before stopping the warden. "I'm sorry sir. This patient is in no fit state to even leave this section of the ward. One step outside and he'll lose his mind again. Now unless you want a suicide or another homicide on your hands I recommend you leave right now."

The man was listening to everything. It filled him with such intense joy, he couldn't contain himself. Kept hidden by the curtains the man jumped around, fist bumped and celebrated the fact he was staying. Most hated the hospital, but to the man, hospital meant freedom. The prison men finally left the hospital. The doctor came in to check on the man. "Hello sir. How are you feeling today?"
"I'm great doctor. You?"
"Oh the usual. Stressed. Hahaha but no I'm very good. How are you doing with the medication?"
"Yea I meant to ask, someone. But umm. How long am I going to be on medication?" The doctor thought about it for a moment. He had a major case of schizophrenia, anxiety, depression and bipolar disorder. It was possible he'd be on the medication permanently. "It might be permanent. Your mental condition is deteriorating and has been for a very very long time. Prison made it worse. You first started to hallucinate 3 years ago correct?" The man nodded and started to play with his fingers.
"Well you've been schizophrenic for many years before then. Possibly since your teenage years I'm afraid, maybe even before then." This was news to the man. He knew the mental health problems were brewing as he grew up, but not the extent where he had been suffering for so long and not even realising it.

The doctor ran his normal tests, temperature, retina checks and so forth. He was finally left alone. Like always. Alone with his thoughts again. He decided to get up and head off to the library. Possibly to find a book on mental health. Since he was in the psychiatric ward it would make sense for them to have plenty of books on that topic. He found a few books, checked them out, then headed back to his bed. Officers pretty much always followed him around wherever he went. He was an inmate first and foremost, so he was treated like one. Although, he enjoyed the company. They didn't talk to him and he didn't talk to them.

With his book, he turned to the section on schizophrenia, hoping to familiarise himself more. The doctors were slightly confusing with the information they were giving. Reading that many schizophrenic people still lead normal lives brought him no comfort, simply because he never had a normal life. Pushed from pillar to post by his family.

His body suddenly started to shake. He went for his medication but he stopped himself. He lay on his bed. Clutching the sheets hard.

"Mom?" In his mind he was in the house he grew up in. He tried to walk after her as she turned to leave his bedroom. "Wait mom come back." Suddenly several burley men walked in. They started to remove furniture and other things of value. "Hey. What're you doing? Get off. Mom stop them." In reality his mother was one of the other patients leaving, the burley men were two doctors trying to calm him down.

In the man's mind the men came for him. They picked him up, carried him outside and threw him into their van. He went kicking and screaming. Swearing hard, trying to set himself free. He entered the van. It was pitch black. He couldn't see anything. His eyes had dilated to the size of fifty pence coins.

He sat still for a few moments. It wasn't long until he saw an orange light. He began crawling towards it. All of a sudden, he fell over the edge into a massive pit of what seemed like lava. An incredibly loud ringing shot through the man's ears. He screamed loudly covering his ears with his hands, but his hands were gone. His wrists were just stumps.

The doctors had finally given him a powerful sedative. It knocked him out in an instant.