The Feeling ☤ Camren

The Voice

"That's okay because I'm into girls too and I was hoping you were as well... not that I think you would automatically be interested in me or anything like that but..."

"Yur tolk fost" Camila interrupted with an uncertain look. Lauren's  eyes were widened . She had no idea the girl could talk and she would be lying if she wasn't shocked by the voice of her. She had never heard a deaf person speak before, sure she knew that had a certain dialect but she never heard it in person. Her voice could get words out but one could tell very easily she couldn't hear herself speak, something Lauren could never imagine herself. 

The girl looked down in defeat before Lauren had said anything yet. Lauren's facial expression didn't help the situation. The long pause she gave the fellow Cuban left Camila in certainty of rejection but Lauren was speechless trying to soak in the newness of this situation and she couldn't help it. She felt bad for her reaction and she could tell Camila was embarrassed. 

 "Im orry if yuh don understa meh, I stud probally top tol.." 

 "No!" Lauren signed and spoke quickly. She was dead wrong and the girl had no idea "I can understand everything you're saying. I'm sorry. It's just....  I didn't know you could speak. and your voice is..."  

"howwrible" Camila completed looking down at her fingers but she couldn't have been anymore wrong again. Yes, her voice was completely different then what Lauren was used to but that didn't mean she didn't like it. If anything this was a part of this girl and made her unique so what was not to like? How could anyone dislike a form of communication or a disadvantaged someone had that they could not control? Is that anything to even establish an opinion on, unless you're just an asshole and the lowest of low of a person. 

Lauren placed a hand on Camila's shoulder,  she looked up with the saddest eyes. "No, Camila your voice is different but not horrible. Not horrible at all. I actually like your voice." she finished with an honest smile. Her voice was like someone talking without moving their tongue or if they left out the first letter in a word sometimes, if she could compare it to anything. 

Camila raised an eyebrow before laughing. "Lah-wen, you're  vehray sweet bot untrothful. Its ol kay if my voice is nnoying"

Lauren was very confused to why this beautiful stranger didn't believe her. She wondered if people ever had a problem with her voice to the point where they couldn't talk to her. She couldn't imagine how lonely that must be to face. She needed to let her know she wasn't like that. 

"I am being honest. It's your voice and it's part of who you are so why would I not like it?" she looked into the milky brown eyes as Camila starred back with a warm smile before it quickly faded to a more confused expression. Lauren couldn't read her. 

"Whet is his? Why are yuh be so ice to meh? Is this a oke?" The brunette asked in a harsh tone leaving a rather surprised Lauren....... "is his a oke between you and your riends or omething?" she continued even more harsh. 

 What the hell just happened? 

Lauren's eyebrows met due to the girls sudden change of tone. She was offended by the girls judgement of character on her  and this honestly hurt her because it happened all the time. Everyone seemed to place judgement on Lauren without actually getting to know her. One moment this girl seemed to had enjoyed Lauren's company and now she's annoyed by it but of course Lauren had to defend herself . She knew this was the girl's insecurities lashing out on her but it still stung.  "Woah, what? That's far from the tru.." 

"den whet is it?" Camila asked coldly.  Lauren paused, unsure what to respond because she knew the girl probably wouldn't believe her anyway but she had to give her an explanation. 

"I don't know what you're thinking right now but it's not true.... Honestly the reason I am talking to you right now is because  you sat besides me here about two weeks ago and I tried talking to you but you couldn't hear me.... I thought you were ignoring me so I waited to see you again in hopes you wouldn't ignore me again I guess, but you never returned and then  I saw you at Starbucks" Lauren paused to form a smile. " so I made up an excuse to talk to you because.." She paused to find words. " had to talk to you and that's when I realized you were deaf and I didn't.. I don't care that you are...  if that's what you're thinking? Anyway, so I went home and learned some ASL to communicate better with you because you seem like a cool person and here I am... I know that all sounds so weird but I thought you were" She paused again to now sign with her words "beautiful and I just wanted to talk to you.... that's it"  Her answer being more honest than what Camila was expecting. In fact, it made her blush that someone would go that much out of their way just to speak with her. No one has ever done anything remotely close to that for her.  She was also physically attracted to Lauren so that helped. Lauren was undeniably gorgeous but it was still strange that someone as "cool" as Lauren seemed to be would want to talk to her when all she does is like... read to be honest.  She felt like nothing special, nothing for Lauren at least. 

Camila bit her bottom lip starring at the pale girl beside her, seemingly reassured after Lauren's honest explanation. "Its jus people are usually ice to meh. My smily hasn't even earn how to sign to peak wit meh so I don understand why a stranger bud specially one as ttractive as yuh. I wen to a school of people who can ear and thay made fun of meh for being deaf nd my voice so I'm not used to dis. I'm ot used to indness by people who could ear" 

Lauren swore she could feel every organ in her body crushing her soul after hearing those words. Yeah, she barely knew this chick but she could tell she was sweet even despite everything that she's been through. The  thought of anyone making fun of her honestly pissed her off. Why the hell would anyone? She didn't understand the world sometimes. 

"I don't know what to say. I'm sorry that happened to you" she expressed after a pause to gather her words and after  signing "but I want you to know I'm not like that. " She finished with a hopeful smile. 

Camila returned the gaze but her eyes didn't fully trust Lauren. 

"I promise." Lauren assured her again. 

Camila nodded but she was still unconvinced. She paused for a moment before responding. Her thinking face leaving Lauren uncertain. 

"i shud et gown  The smaller girl finally responded before grabbing her book beside her. Lauren tapped her shoulder again before she could turn around. "yeah?" She faked a smile avoiding eye contact with Lauren before the green eyed girl could get a word in "Um when can I see you again?" Her hopeful eyes made Camila's heart warm but she couldn't let her in. "I don oh" she replied quickly before turning around to walk home leaving a hopeless Lauren. 

Who got zero work done that night. 

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