Briar Preparatory Academy

I Forgive You

Celeste POV

I walk out of the infirmary in a daze. Seth. In a coma. It doesn't seem real. Joe, Jasper's nephew. Lockharte, my grandfather. All these words bounce around inside my skull but none of them register with me.

It seems like just when my life was getting back to normal it all had to fall apart again. Why should I be surprised?

I walk across the campus, not knowing where I'm going. Several minutes later, I slow down and come to a complete stop in front of the school building. Thoughts are warring in my head, telling me to man up and walk in or to stay outside if I know what's good for me.

I chew my lip to the point that it's painful. I close my eyes for a moment and I see flashes of all my classmates running for their lives and falling and bleeding. I take one deep breath in and take a step closer to the school building. Something in the back of my mind tells me that I have to see it again; that I have to make sure it's real.

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" I hear a voice and feel a hand grab my arm. I quickly pull away and refuse to look over my shoulder.

"Better than staying out here with you." I snap.

I hear Joe sigh behind me. "Listen, Princess... You don't want to see it. Agents picked up... all the students last night, but it still hasn't been cleaned." He trails off and I turn around. He shoves his hands in his pockets and gazes at me for a few seconds. "It's... terrifying to look at." He looks like he can't describe the horror inside the building. Like there are no words for the sins that have been committed.

"I'm going in." I say quietly; pulling my arm out of his grip. I turn on my heel and head straight towards the door.

I start to pull the door open but his hand comes from behind me and slams it closed. I whip around to see Joe standing only inches away from me. I press my back against the door, trying to get as far away from him as possible. Joe's eyes have turned that deep blue again and his stare pulls everything inside of me apart.

I've missed those eyes.

I put on the most hateful glare I can muster. He needs to know that he can't make my decisions for me. It was never that way between us, and it never will be. "Are you sure you want to do this?" He asks me after a few seconds.

"I need to see." I tell him and the words come out as barely a whisper. I'm still pressed against the door. He sighs and looks away from me, stands up.

"Okay." He says simply, and moving away from me. He pulls the door open and watches me as I stand in front of the threshold, hesitating for a moment. I walk in and Joe follows me. The door closes behind us and the sound fills the room. I suck in when I look around.

Any casualties that were here originally are now gone, laid out on the courtyard in black bags. Blood is spread out across the floor, on the walls. I can almost hear the gunshots and screams. A single light is still on, but it flickers, making the dark hallway fade into a black shadow.

I walk through down the main hall toward the wing where Jasper and I fought. I hear Joe's light footsteps behind me as I go. In a way, it brings me comfort. I keep thinking that a stray soldier is going to come running at me with one of his guns, and I won't be able to do anything and defend myself. But I know somewhere in the back of my head that it won't happen. Everyone is dead.

This is all my fault. This is all my fault. This is all my fault.

I feel my breathing become more and more rapid as my eyes take in the bloodstained hall and rooms. My throat begins to close and I don't feel like I'm getting enough oxygen in. Tears start to brim in my eyes and spill down my cheeks. My hands start to shake uncontrollably, and my knees buckle. I am on my hands and knees on the floor, gasping for air and sobbing.