nor my heart or my spear // zhao yun x reader [COMPLETE]

chapter ten

"Oh Xing Cai," I moan pitifully.
"What do I do? Does he feel for me, does he not? Was it the dress? What should I do now?"

I sit in Xing Cai's quarters after Zhao Yun and I had assured Master Ma Chao that we weren't "doing anything 'indecent'." That was a conversation that I never want to have again.

"Um...Zhao Yun are you sure I am not interrupting anything? If you're busy I can come another time-"
Zhao Yun laughs uncomfortably.
"No, no, Master Ma Chao, we weren't...doing anything indecent."
Ma Chao frowns, obviously not buying Zhao Yun's story. I couldn't blame him. If I walked in on something like this, I would have assumed the same thing. Zhao Yun's face continues to turn deeper shades of scarlet.
"Ah-um-I think it's best for me to take my leave now, Master Zhao Yun. I'll return your robe to you in the morning."
I stand up awkwardly, grabbing my boots and the ruined dress.
"Good evening to you, Master Ma Chao," I say, bustling past him, eager to get out of the room.

Night had finally fallen, and Zhao Yun had parted with me to go riding with Ma Chao. Although it had taken me a while to get back to the familiar wing, the one with my room and Xing Cai's, I finally found it.

"Calm down, calm down." Xing Cai says, rubbing her eyelids. Apparently she had had a long day with Bao Sanniang after I had left them. When I arrived at her room, she appeared more than ready to sleep until late into the afternoon tomorrow. Yet, she's still managing the patience to help me with my issues. I never realized how much she does for me.

Xing Cai yawns and covers her mouth with a hand.
"I don't understand how one person can get into so much trouble in two days," she mutters.
"It's only been two days?!"
"Let's get back to the task at hand shall we?" Xing Cai yawns again. "So I can get some sleep. I promised Guan Ping I'd train with him first thing in the morning..."

I nod vigorously, eager for any insight on my predicament. I reach up to idly scratch at my nose, and catch the scent of Zhao Yun on his robe. It's very masculine, musk and jasmine and such. It reminds me of the tea that he gave me the other day...

"-that you have to confess your feelings for him."
What did she just say?
"Um, pardon me?"
Xing Cai sighs with frustration, delicate eyebrows furrowing together.
"I said: 'it's obvious that you have to confess your feeling for him.'"

A shock-filled gasp escapes my lips.
"But-but I can't! What if he doesn't feel the same way? I-I'm not good enough for him..."
Xing Cai presses the tips of her index and middle fingers to her temples. It's obvious she was feeling very irrational right now. I should probably hurry this up before I get a fist between my eyes...

"You said that you think he attempted to kiss to before Master Ma Chao intervened, correct? Well that can only mean he harbors some form of affection for you!"
"But-"
"He's not that kind of man," she assures before pointing to the door.
"Now get out! I'll see you in the morning."