Things Left Unsaid

Baby or not?

Let me know if Sarah's and Jason are together material?
Do u miss Jay?

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"This is warm just to warn you." She put the gel on the ultrasound the wand and placed it over my navel. She then moves it around a little and examines the screen. She then has a puzzled look on her face which makes my heart rate go up causing the machine to beat faster.
"What's wrong." Jason stares at the nurse looking scared.
"Is everything ok?" I asked the nurse.
"Yes everything appears fine. I just looks like your appendix needs to be taken out."
I heard Jason sigh to my left and his hand squeezed mine. I still needed surgery though.
"Have you been feeling any pain right here on your right side." She motives towards my appendix area.
"Yeah some. It's not that bad though." I spoke trying to keep myself in line from crying.
"Ok well. I'll get the doctor so we can schedule the surgery." With that she left the room. We both gave each other a look. We knew she hadn't told us something.

***
The doctor told us to come into a room to talk to us.
"So I have some good news and bad news, which would you like to hear first?" I didn't know which one so I nudged my arm into Jason.
"Good news first sir." Jason was so polite to elders, I loved it.
"Well um." The doctor looked at both of us and then stared at me with sympathy. "You were pregnant but you lost the baby. Your body wasn't compatible with the fetus. I'm sorry." He began to walk out when Jason walked up to him and asked him about the other surgery.
"Well, my nurse lied a little to you. She lost a baby, it was hard for her to tell you two the truth. I'm very sorry." Jason was shocked and walked back to me.
I sat there going into a deep thought and shock. I pulled my knees into my chest and started crying. I felt Jason say my name, but I didn't care. My baby's in the dream, they wouldn't be with me anymore. I would never get to see them, hold them. This made me want Jay a little more, but he was gone. At Least for now.
Jason tried to touch me but I moved my arm. I wasn't meaning to be rude towards him but I wanted to be alone at the moment.
I got up and grabbed my clothes. I slipped on my skinny jeans and my white t-shirt, then my boots. I pulled my hair out of my shirt and put my jewelry back on. I grabbed my bag and grabbed Jason's keys off the counter. He was right on my toes when he stopped me before I got to the door of the E.R.
"Sarah please." I turned and looked at him. He had tears in his eyes ready to spill over.
  "What do you want me to say." I whispered back to him.
  "I don't know. I know your upset so can u just wait. Please." I put my hand on his arm and pulled his hand out the E.R.
  I got in the passenger seat and laid my head on the side of the window.
  I kinda felt numb inside, like I had just been de-friended.

***
  It had already been 4 days since we found out the news. 
  I Leaned up out of bed and looked at the alarm clock. 2 AM.
  I looked over at a sleeping Jason, which was good. I got up and looked over the balcony towards the kitchen. I was hungry but I didn't know what I was hungry for. I walked Into the kitchen and stopped dead in my spot. I looked at the fridge and froze, my legs went weak. I took the picture and stared at it. This can't be! Is this me, this picture was in my dream. It had my twins and my family, Jay, Jason, everyone.
  This hasn't happened yet how is does this picture even exist. I took the picture and tucked it my pajama pants. I made myself some grill cheese and sat down at the buffet table.
  I took out the picture again and stared at it in surprise. I didn't know how or where it came from? More importantly why it was here.
  By the time I was done with my food I had got on the laptop for hours. I looked down at the time which was about 6AM. I looked out the window and saw the sun rising. The sky was a beautiful blue/purple/pink and you could see the sun peaking from a building in the distance.
  I got up and made some coffee, I pushed the button. I had put in a Starbucks cup and you could smell it through the pent house. I wonder how much it cost a month or even the down payment to this type of house. It was probably about $5000 a month at the least.
  We had a maid here every other day. She cleaned, washed clothes, made us food, took us shopping. She was like a mini mom.     I really liked her, her name was ka'len. She was about 25 and had a daughter.
   I walked upstairs and climbed in bed. I sat there waiting for Jason to wake up, but he didn't. I sat straddle style on top of him and started twirling his hair with my finger. He put both hands on both of my thighs. That only made me giggle. He opened his eyes and looked wide awake. Both of our eyes where red from crying in our sleep. We both had been having dreams about the doctor telling us over and over again.
  We had been in bed for the last day. We didn't leave the bed all day yesterday cause the day before we had been video chatting with my mom. My mom thought that we ran away because Jason got sick and I wanted to take care of him. We had lied to my mom but it was for her good and our safety.
   He looked up at me and leaned up on his forearms. He did a half smile and went back to a blank face still holding eye contact with me.
  He looked like he was taking the baby way harder than I was. I mean yeah I wanted the baby but it was unexpected and we didn't get to attached to it. He looked as if he had lost me or a mother. I felt bad for him.
  "Jason." I touched his face and looked away from him. "Please get out of bed."
  He looked at me and a tear went down his check. I wanted to cry but it had almost been a week and I was moving on from it. I wanted to ask him why he was so upset but he was already way to upset.
  "What's wrong." I removed my hand from his face when he sat all the way up and gripped my thighs. "Jason please."
  "I'm sorry." He jumped up out of bed and stood beside it staring. He pulled his joggers on and pulled his muscle shirt over his showing stomach. His 6 pack showing but disappearing to soon.
  I walked out of the room angry and tried not to stomp down the stairs. What was wrong with him? Yeah he's upset but he just pushed me off of him. Like I was a dog, like he didn't want me. I heard his footsteps behind me.
  "Sarah come on stop." His stern voice only made the rage grow inside me. I kept walking into the kitchen and taking a mug out of the cabinet. I continued by slapping It on the counter and grabbing the hot coffee. I poured some in my mug and slid it to the other side of the island. Jason was glaring at me from across the kitchen. I walked back over to the dishes in the sink and washed out my plates from earlier. I heard Jason take another step towards me which made me back up a step.
  I looked up at him and his face was hard. He was still glaring at me with his devil eyes. Jason was always happy but right now all I saw was sadness. I felt bad but we were together and he was thinking more about him self. He wasn't thinking about upset I was. I took a step backwards again and was about to explode with anger. I gripped my hair from my face and pulled it. I turned and grabbed a cup and cliched it at a wall. It shattered everywhere and glass shards went flying. Luckily it didn't hit anyone and I felt bad after throwing it.
  I felt Jason grip my hands and I fell down to the ground.
  "Let go of me." I yelled at Jason and tried to get away from his grip.
  "No." He looked at me with his same old face. He didn't look sad anymore he looked like my Jason , the one I saw Jay in.
  I was crying by then still hitting him in the chest to let me go. He caught my hands again and held them tightly.
  "I really wanted this baby." I said threw tears. I did but I didn't wanna admit it. I was slowly falling apart and I just wanted to move on. Jason was holding me back from doing that.
  I wanted to forget. I wanted to forget Jay, my baby, and my brothers.
                 BUT I COULDN'T!!!!

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Well that was a sad ending! Sorry about Sarah and Jay not being together but I wanted to try Sarah and Jason