Thin

Day 5---Friday

A/N this is going to be a longgg chapter. 1500+ words.

*TRIGGER WARNING*

OH MY SHIT STAIN. I FUCKING SLEPT THROUGH MY ALARM AND MY DAMN PARENTS DIDN'T WAKE ME THE FUCK UP, WHAT THE HELL??!?!!?!!!?!??! ITS ALMOST 11:30 HOLY FUCK I GTG. THIS IS BAD I DON'T HAVE A CAR OMG OMG OMG. I GOTTA RUN. OR CALL SOMEONE. MY PARENTS LEFT FOR THE AIRPORT ALREADY. OH GOD. YOU KNOW WHAT FUCK IT, COUGH COUGH I'M SICK BITCHES. I'M STAYING HOME.

Okay, Okay, yes I know Dean is coming over later and I know its my first week at this new school and I should go to school, but, like, I don't like school and I don't need it really. I already took college credits. When I graduate I also get my Associates Degree along with my High school Diploma.

I get up from my bed and walk downstairs. I grab the last bottle of water from the fridge and head back to my room. Plopping down on my bed, I turn on the TV. Doctor Who is on. I take a sip of water and lean back in my bed. School lets out at 1:30, I have about 2 and a half hours to do nothing. I should make sure everything is ready for Dean tonight. Oh my god I'm so damn nervous. Save my soul. There is plenty of food for Dean. I have a plan in case he makes me eat. which I'm sure he will. I just excuse myself to the bathroom and throw it up. I wont gain weight and I can make Dean happy. 

After an hour or so of watching doctor who I walk into the bathroom. Stripping down, I step into the shower, washing my body I notice my hip bones are becoming more prominent as well as my ribs. Not eating is really paying off. I rinse the shampoo out of my hair and step out of the shower, grabbing a towel, I head into my room. I stand there in my closet {A/N ha get it in the closet} for the longest time, trying to pick out an outfit. I decide on black joggers and a light blue jumper. Its nearly April so its quite hot here in Kansas, but I wear a jumper anyway, its totally not because I'm trying to hide something what no never, ha ha ha.

Seeing as I have another hour I decide to head to the store and pick up some things because I'm pretty low on supplies (food, drinks, etc.) I slip on my vans, grabbing some money I head out the door. My parents mail around 1000 dollars a week. I know it a lot but I pay the bills a month or two ahead so they figured why not. I walk quickly to the store and soon enough I'm walking through the doors. Cold air conditioning greeting me. I made a B line to the drinks grabbing a couple Gator-aides and some water bottles. I then head to the noodles because why not they are pretty low calorie, the all natural ones that is. Lastly grabbing some strawberries before heading back home.

By the time I get home and put away the groceries I hear a knock on the door. "Its open!" I yell walking out of the living room. Dean walks through the door looking a tad worried.? "Hey Dean" I say happily "Hi, so why weren't you at school today? I was worried."  Dean asks. Worried. Dean was worried about me. Because I missed one day. Oh my. "I overslept, no big deal" I say, immediately Dean seems relieved. "Oh good I thought something happened to you" Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. Dead. "Well thanks for worrying" I reply "yea, of course"

Dean goes puts his backpack down in my room. While he does, I turn the TV on in the living room. Dean comes back downstairs and drops onto the couch next to me. We watch random shows and chat. Since I live here alone and most of my parents stuff is in storage I have a loveseat couch and a Full (the one between a twin and a queen) size bed. So Dean and I are forced to be close to each other. Don't get me wrong I like it but, well, I don't know, I guess it just makes me nervous and kinda sad knowing he will never like me.

Yep that's right I admit it. I like Dean Winchester. I like a boy. I like a male. I like Dean. A LOT. Wow.

We watched a show called Criminal Minds. Its a good show. We watched several episodes and chatted a bit. Its about 6:30 pm when we start playing, get this, Blackjack. We got so caught up playing I didn't even realize it was already almost 9:00. As I lose for the last time I throw my cards at Dean, crossing my arms I pout "You're too good at this Deann" I whine "I know " Dean says laughing. "Hey Cas, I don't want to be a bother but I'm starving" Dean says politely. Shit, he's gonna make me eat, Fuck. "Yea, no problem, wanna cook noodles?" I ask "Sure that'd be great"  Dean replies happily.

The noodles finish cooking and Dean gets his bowl "Aren't you going to eat Cas?"  SHIT, okay just stay calm Cas. "I'm not really hungry" I say unconvincingly. "Bullshit Cas, I know you haven't eaten since at least 2:00pm its 9:47pm. You're eating."  Dean says quite sternly "Okay" I say, giving up, plan B I guess. I grab a bowl and fill it with a significantly less amount of noodles than Dean does, but enough so he doesn't really notice the difference. Dean and I sit down at the table. I eat quickly focusing on my chewing. I finish seemingly way before Dean. I stand up saying I need to use the restroom.

***TRIGGER WARNING***

I get to the bathroom, kicking the door 'shut'. I kneel in front of the toilet I've become familiar to. I slip my finger past my teeth to the back of my throat. Throwing up once doesn't, I don't feel empty like I usually do. Shaking I go for round 2.

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Dean's POV (I know surprising, don't get used to it)

I hate it when Cas pretends he isn't hungry. I finished my noodles right after Cas did. I head upstairs to change really quick. I enter Cas' room and hear Cas throwing up from the bathroom. I walk over to the door. Its open slightly. From the crack I see Cas, kneeling in front of the toilet, throwing up. WAIT. HES MAKING HIMSELF THROW UP. NO. HE CANT BE. WHY. I tear up. Why is he doing this to himself. Tears start to spill as I open the door all the way, walking in.

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Cas' POV (HA HA HA)

Just as I'm about to throw up for the 3rd time. Dean walks in. NO HOW DID HE. I SHUT THE DOOR. NO. H-HE CANT KNOW. I start crying, sitting fully down. Dean approaches me. In tears? He sits down next the me. He looks at me, with so much sadness in his eyes. "w-why?" he asks weakly. I start sobbing, putting my head in my hands. Dean wraps his arms around me and pulls me into his lap. Why is he being so nice, so caring? I cant help but sob into his chest. He rubs my back as he rocks back and forth calming me down. I never wanted Dean to find out. Especially not this way. I'm just hoping he doesn't find out about the other thing...

I finally calm down. Dean is still holding me. I look up at him. His eyes are closed. Tears still falling down his cheeks. "Dean" I whisper. He opens his eyes, sadness and guilt pool within them."Yes"  he replies sadly "I'm sorry" I say, not knowing what else to say. "Just tell me one thing Cas, why ?" he asks crying more. I decide on telling him the truth, well most of it. "I-I  haven't been e-eating much, if at all, since m-my parents ma-made me move alone, the-they've been gone f-for a year or so now so th-they d-didn't notice or care. Almost e-every time I-I do eat or am fo-forced to, I-I um thr-throw it up. It st-started with simply n-not being hu-hungry, but it tur-turned into s-something else. I w-want to be sk-skinny Dean. I ha-have to be. Yo-  People will like m-me better if I'm-I'm skin-skinnier. If I'm sk-skinny, ma-maybe someone w-will l-love me." I explain stuttering quite a bit. "Oh Cas " Dean says sympathetically, hugging me tighter I start to sob again.

That's when Dean stands up, picking me up off his lap and carrying me bridal style, my face still buried in his chest. He gently lays me down on my bed, I let go of him a curl into a ball shaking and crying. He leaves and comes back minutes later. He sits down next to me on the bed. Again, he pulls me closer to him. I can feel hes shirtless but I couldn't care less. He slips both him and I under the covers. (A/N STOP YALL'S DIRTY MINDS NO THIS IS FLUFFY) I cuddle into Dean and he wraps his arms around me. Drifting off to sleep I think about whats happening at the moment. This is normal right? All guys do this right? He doesn't like me, does he? Maybe he does, maybe he cares, maybe...

Authors Note

I'M SO HAPPY I FINALLY WROTE THIS CHAPTER. ITS 5:15 AM RIGHT NOW AND I JUST FINISHED. I HAVE THE WHOLE FANFICTION LAID OUT SO. I LOVE YOU ALL. SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG. SORRY THIS AUTHORS NOT IS IN ALL CAPS. SORRY THERE ARE AUTHORS NOTES (A/N) IN THE STORY. LORD. So what do you guys think about Dean finding out that Cas isn't eating??? What is Cas' "other thing" he doesn't want Dean to find out about??? Since school is starting in 10 days (I'M CRYING) I will try to writ a ton until then and write over the weekends. I actually don't know if i passed 7th grade or not currently.        Until the next update, Bye Loviesss.

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