Schizo Styles » 1d

Answer to Freedom

Overdose, gun, rope. There are so many ways anyone could do it. For me, rope was the way to go. Neither my mom nor Percy kept guns in the house, and overdose didn't even work sometimes. I knew a girl who tried that and all that happened was she threw up a lot. Although, I've heard drowning is quite peaceful...

"Do you need help with the note?" Harry offered.

I shook my head, my hand steadily scribbling over the paper. I made a note for each of my uncles, Theo, my cousins, my mom, and my unborn baby brother. Each one was different. Each one had things I wanted to say, but never did, and now couldn't. But I didn't cry making any of them. I was too sad to cry.

"Will you add a few things in two of the notes?" Harry asked. I nodded my head. "In Louis', tell him to take care of Marissa. I never got to. I knew he was the closest with you guys. And in Marissa's, tell her I love her, and I'm sorry for what I've done."

I didn't know what Harry did that he was sorry for, but I would write it anyway. Even though he'd basically broken me to such an extent I could never be fixed, I'd pass everything he said on to my mom.

The notes I felt were the most important were Louis', Theo's, my mom's, and my brother's. All of them were important, but those just felt like they had more of a reason than the others, if that makes any sense. They had the most significance. The others just explained how much I loved my uncles, or how much I actually didn't blame their kids for hating me. All of them explained that I saw Harry. But these had so much more.

Louis,

I knew you and Harry were best friends. I knew you supported him the most through everything. He trusted you with his life, my life, and Marissa's life. So you're going to have to trust me now.

I've been seeing Harry. He's like Hal or Maxee. I don't know if he's truly in my head or what, but he's there. He's the one who led me to doing this. But he's not bad, even though I thought he was at first. And though he won't tell me, I know there's a reason he's telling me this is the best idea. And I trust him because he's still my dad. I really hope you understand.

Louis, if truth be told, you've been my main father figure throughout my whole life. Not Niall or Liam or Zayn, and certainly not Percy. If I had to have a second father, I would've picked you. You were the closest to my mom and I, and I think that's why Harry asked me to tell you to take care of Marissa after I'm gone. Make sure my little brother is okay. And if he turns out anything like me, make sure he doesn't listen to anything anyone he sees tells him. Make sure he turns out okay.

I love you Louis, so much. Please don't grieve over me too much. I hope you find new love and your life is long and happy.

Love,

Sydney Xx

P.s. You should know I've seen Lola. She's beautiful, and an amazing person.

Mom,

It's me. I don't know how to start this, honestly. So I guess it's just better that I come out and write it. You know I see Hal and Tuesday and Maxee all the time. Well, Harry's been pretty frequent lately too. Yes, your Harry. I don't know if he's like Hal and the others, like he's in my head. Maybe he's a ghost. I don't know. But either way, he wants to say that he loves you, and he's sorry for what he's done.

You know, before I wrote this, I sat here wondering why Harry was sorry. But now, I think I know. He's taking me away from you. The whole time, it's been him making me do these crazy things. I jumped into the road because of him and I almost killed Percy half because of him. But I couldn't tell you because I knew you'd be upset. He wasn't the Harry you knew. But mom, I can assure you, there is some good in him. Because if there wasn't, he wouldn't be trying to help me be happier. He does love me mom, and he loves you. I'll be okay. I promise.