KEVIN AND JENN

JENNIFER

Right before she tapped the phone icon on Kevin's number, she felt overwhelming anxiety.

Would he brush her off? Would he dismiss her as being clingy?

Jennifer cursed herself for violating basic dating etiquette-no calls between dates! What would happen if she upset him on this call? Would he still meet with her on Wednesday? Or would things be done between the two of them?

She sighed and pressed call anyways. At this point, she had gone through enough second guessing for a lifetime. "Come what may," she thought to herself as the phone rang, "I'm not going to hide who I really am."

"Hello?" he sounded stressed.

"Greetings from planet Jennifer," she responded in a low, gravelly voice, "we sincerely hope you enjoy your trip."

That cracked him up. She could hear his laughter through the phone.

"Well I'm pleased to be travelling there," he answered, going along with the act with obvious delight. He was definitely a nerd, she thought to herself with glee. Only a nerd would find this cool. "What's the weather like?"

"Mild with a hint of thunderstorm," She grinned as she leaned back and let her imagination wander, "But you should avoid the land of company."

"Land of company?" He sounded genuinely confused, as if it were a real place that he was planning to go to, "and why is that?" A few people were beginning to give her looks in the train compartment as she continued talking about Planet Jennifer.

She ignored them of course. "The Land of Company is filled with hidden potholes called legal troubles, snappy boss and violation of dumb protocol," she extolled, as if reciting the bible. "It may seem attractive but the truth is that you must stay really, really far."

"Ah, I see. Thanks for letting me know." He paused for a second. "Also, I didn't catch your name-who exactly on Planet Jennifer, am I talking to?"

That was a good question. What should she name her fictional persona?

"Empress Jennifer, the ruling brain of Planet Jennifer!" She grinned. It was too silly a conversation not to enjoy. "You may now, take your bow."

"I salute you, Empress, as a diplomat from Planet Kevin." Jennifer imagined Kevin in navy robes, bowing down to her. What a majestic sight. "I hope you visit our home one day as well."

She chuckled and uncrossed her legs for the fifth time. "I thank you for your warm greeting. We hope to form an alliance with the planet of Kevin due to impending war in the galaxy," she was about to continue into a Star Wars themed introduction of the complex inter-planetary warfare in their fictional universe when the train conductor called out her stop.

With regret, Jennifer knew she needed to go. "Kevin, this is my stop-talk to you on Wednesday?"

"Sure." He didn't sound disappointed in the least. Maybe she was reading a little too much into his tone? "See you then!"

- - -

The minute she walked through the door, exhaustion overwhelmed her muscles.

She could barely walk to the bathroom. But the thought of a warm, lavender scented bubble path pushed her to.

"Ah. This, this is heaven," she thought to herself, reclining backwards in the warm, soapy water and letting the heat burn through her fatigue. "I don't ever want to leave."

For a thirty minutes, no new thoughts crawled into her mind. She just sat there, lost in the moment, unwilling to use her brain for anything.

The mind itself has muscles, she thought, wriggling her toes and taking in the heady smell of the bubble bath.

Otherwise, why would not thinking feel so relaxing?

Her mind was silent for a few heartbeats longer, but then it began to drift.

She didn't like her job, she realized. She hadn't liked it for over year now but she stayed because she didn't know where else to go.

The job had come hand in hand with her pending marriage with Alex. It was all supposed to be a dream falling into place-a loving husband, great job and happy life-but things fell apart and she didn't know what to do.

So she stuck to the job like a lifeline. After Alex, she didn't know how to handle loss.

Because the loss of Alex was too deep for her.

She washed her hands over and over again in the water. Her hair clung to the back of her neck like mist.

But was she still hurting over Alex?

Kevin had given her a new sense of perspective. He saw her through a different set of eyes.

To him, she was someone bold and interesting. Someone worth seeing again even after a terrible first date.

It gave her a tiny sense of hope things don't really need to be this way after all.

"Why can't I just...start my own thing like I've been saying forever?" she wondered to herself.

The money was there. The motivation, was beginning to show up.

She was ready for change, she felt. Tired of going for the same things again and again.

"I thought I would've been promoted by now. But I haven't. What a surprise," she thought with a tinge of bitterness.

When a place doesn't give you what you want, when it doesn't meet your needs anymore, it's time to go. Had any of her friends told her that they were stuck in a job that didn't give them any joy.

Wouldn't she simply ask them to leave it?

"Out of touch. With myself." she thought, twiddling her fingers and inspecting her finger nails.

There were bits and pieces of her old nail polish all over them. She scratched them off with mild interest.

Something new was beginning in her life. She could feel it. The dissatisfaction was coming to a head and she was going take action to make it go away.

Stepping out of the tub into a fluffy white towel, Jennifer resolved to take the day off on Wednesday and work on a new game plan. With or without Alex, she was Jennifer-bold, beautiful and inspiring. 

And she wasn't going to let anyone, namely herself, take away her spark again.