I have these thoughts
So often I ought
To replace that slot
With what I once bought
Cause somebody stole
My car radio
Tyler
I rode off to that exact same spot where it all started, a rode way near a forest. And there it was, standing right in front of me, mocking me for what I've done.
~Flash Back~
Tyler
Me and Josh would always drive deep into the woods by ourselves to get away from all the bullshit we both deal with at school and at home. Sometimes it was just too much to handle so I'd usually call Josh to come to our special "hang out spot". As we were driving in his car, ready to leave, I started teasing Josh for breaking up with his ex girlfriend Debby by poking his cheeks and stomach. You know, normal things best friends do. If they were like 12....While he was the one driving, I kept bothering him. "So how are you and Debby been lately?" I asked. "We're fine Ty, we just don't talk as much,"explained Josh for I knew he really missed her. "I dont know, maybe I'll- I'll never find someone as great as her, you know?". "No, but maybe that person is right in front of you" I teased. Now was my chance to tell him how I felt. Sure he seemed pretty bummed out about his break up but I could help. This was perfect. I'll tell him. "Josh?" I asked. "What?" Josh responded. "Can you look at me please?"
"I can't, I gotta keep my eyes on the road". said Josh. I felt sad, but like the stubborn person I was, I got a bit mad.
"Josh look at me, I have to tell you something". Josh kept focused on the road and continued to ignore me. As soon as I was about so say something else, we reached our destination, that one spot near the roads. As Josh was about to park, I shook his arm to grab his attention but it made the car go forward, causing the car to crash into the tree. I panicked, I didn't know what was going on nor did I know where was Josh. He wasn't in his passenger seat. The only thing I could with my blurry vision was shattered glass all over the floor and possibly my body, a broken window, and a blurry figure laying on top of the car. Was that? No?! It can't be?! Josh?! I kept calling his name, but there was no response. I waited in the car, struggling to take off my seat belt and get up, but I was couldn't. My eyes closed shut until I saw a bunch of bright red lights heading this way. All I could do is whimper a small "H-help him. Not me...I don-". Every thing turned pitch black.
~End~
And now I just sit in silence
It's been a while since my best friend died and it was because of me. Me and my stupid impatient stubborness. And now I'm standing in front the the abandoned car. His car. It still looks the same. From the scratches on the door to the broken window which leads to Josh's seat. Yep. Every thing was the same....."NO. WHY. WHY DID IT HAVE TO BE HIM. HE DIDN'T DESERVE IT. WHY NOT KILL ME HUH" I cussed and yelled to the car more likely the trees which was the only thing surrounded me. No one was around to see what I was about to do. I tried to get into the car which was surprisingly lock. Without knowing the consequences, I punched the window open, leaving my pale fist pumping red and bleeding a whole lot. But I didn't care. This is what I deserved. The door finally open once I reached in to unlock it, I then forced myself to get inside the car and sit down on the broken glass to start the car. I kept thinking out loud to myself saying
"Don't worry Josh, I'll be with you soon".
I ponder of something terrifying.
Cause this time, there's no sound to hide behind.
I find over the course our human existence. One thing consists of conscious.
And it's that we're all fear.
Oh dear, I don't know why we're here.
Oh my
Too deep
Please stop thinking
I liked it better when my car had sound.
