None But We Can Be Such Kings // Merthur

Part 1 of 3

e/n: This is a fanfic that I just had to share from livejournal.com by janne_D

Merlin wandered tiredly around Arthur's chambers trying to stay awake, and looked out at the stars to try and gauge the time. It must be nearer dawn than midnight; was this banquet never going to end?

It was the fifth in as many nights and each one had been more elaborate than the last. Camelot was playing host to several powerful barons from the borders of the kingdom and King Uther seemed determined to awe and impress them with Camelot's wealth and might by any means, including killing them with partying.

Normally Arthur insisted Merlin went to all the feasts (Merlin was fairly sure that was because it amused him to make Merlin wear stupid outfits and be bored a lot) but after the third night Arthur had told him to just turn up for a couple of hours and then slip off when he got the chance.

When Merlin had jokingly asked who was going to keep Arthur's cup overflowing, Arthur had given his version of a wince, more a slight flinch around his eyes than anything else, and replied that in lieu of Merlin's peerless skill at the task he would simply keep a clear head.

In truth, Merlin was grateful for the reprieve. Even being able to leave early, he was becoming very tired of all the celebrating. Arthur claimed he'd let Merlin off early because Merlin was worse than useless when he didn't get enough sleep and that he wasn't going to put up with that if he didn't have to, but Merlin wasn't convinced. He was starting to think it was much more because Arthur wished someone would do the same for him.

Because it wasn't just the banquets. In the daytime there were hunting parties and luncheons in the gardens, and miniature tournaments that Arthur had insisted weren't to be taken seriously, though Merlin noticed that hadn't stopped him fighting like his life depended on it. If Arthur wasn't discussing something serious with a nobleman at the feasts, he was dancing with his daughter; if he wasn't besting all the other men in the fighting during the day, he was walking groups of ladies through the gardens and making them all laugh like a group of chattering peahens. Merlin was exhausted just watching and he could tell how tired Arthur was from the fact that he had barely mocked Merlin all week and hadn't even made him wear the insane feathered hat with his ceremonial uniform after the second banquet.

And every day, before every event and sometimes after as well, King Uther would send for Arthur and every time Arthur would come back looking a little more tense. He hid it well, but Merlin could feel it when he was helping Arthur don his armour and he could see the tightness in Arthur's jaw and shoulders the rest of the time.

There wasn't anything Merlin could do to get Arthur out of the festivities, but he had sacrificed his dignity and worn the hat anyway tonight, getting a very satisfying double-take and the first genuine smile he'd seen from Arthur all week when Arthur had spotted him.

He'd noticed earlier as well that Arthur had barely eaten at the feast. Not that he'd had much time to, in between talking to everyone, dancing with everything vaguely female and being talked at by his father, but Arthur had only picked at his plate when he did have the chance. Merlin thought maybe the rich food was getting to be too much along with everything else, so instead of going back to his own room, Merlin had raided the kitchen for some plain fare (he'd found the head cook was very susceptible to pleading eyes) and taken it up to Arthur's chambers to wait for him.

Arthur was probably going to yell simply because Merlin was someone he could be angry at with no consequences, but someone had to make sure he ate before he collapsed, or fell asleep in public or worse, lost a fight in front of King Uther. Merlin didn't like to think about what Uther would say about that last one, but it would probably leave Arthur being a bastard for weeks and Merlin would bear the brunt.

Which was why Merlin was pacing Arthur's rooms right now: to make his own life easier. Not because he was worried about Arthur, no matter what Gaius had said the other day. Arthur could take care of himself.

Except for when he didn't.

Merlin had just sat back down at the table when the door flew open and Arthur came storming in, and he jumped up again as Arthur slammed the door.

"Merlin? What the hell are you doing here? And what's this?" Arthur snapped, gesturing at the table.

"I know it's late, sire, but that is bread," Merlin said in his best helpful tone, "that is some cheese, those are apples, and this is roasted pigeon," he added, pointing to each in turn as cheerfully as he could.

"I think I can recognise food without help," Arthur said through gritted teeth, glaring at Merlin. "What is it doing in my rooms?"

"I thought you might be hungry," Merlin said with a shrug and a smile and just like he'd anticipated, Arthur finally lost his temper.

"Thought? Oh, Merlin the court idiot had a thought. Since when do you have a single useful thought in that head of yours?" he yelled and Merlin cocked his head and raised his eyebrows. Thoughtfully. "Do not pull faces at me!" Arthur shouted again, his face going slightly pink. "I don't want you to think, I want you to do what I say, and did I say 'Merlin, please invade my rooms and bring lots of stupid food'? No, I did not. I swear, I have never had such a worthless, annoying, incompetent, thoughtless servant in my entire life!"

Merlin nodded agreeably and waited a moment to see if there was any more coming, but Arthur just threw himself down in a chair, folded his arms over his chest and glared at him again.

"So..." Merlin said innocently after another minute, seeing Arthur cast a quick look at the pigeon under his eyelashes, "do you want me to take it away?"

Arthur closed his eyes briefly and then snapped half-heartedly, "Don't you have anything to drink, even?" and Merlin grinned, collected the mug of ale from the end of the table and stuck it in Arthur's hand.

Arthur downed half of it immediately and started working his way through the food, grudgingly at first and then with more enthusiasm, and Merlin sat down across the table, leaned his head on his hand and yawned.

Finally Arthur leaned back and pushed the plate away. "You're a bastard and I hate you," he said conversationally, rolling an apple towards Merlin and Merlin shrugged agreement and bit into the apple to hide his grin. "But I suppose you might not be completely worthless," Arthur said, closing his eyes and yawning as well.

"Thank you so much, sire," Merlin replied and Arthur smirked, still with his eyes closed. "What's all this in aid of anyway?" Merlin asked, curious.

"What, you being a bastard?"

"No, all this partying. What's the point?"

"Ah. That," Arthur said, opening his eyes again. "Well, you remember there was that war with Mercia... you do remember that, right?" he asked with a superior tone and Merlin nodded resignedly.

"Yes, I remember."

"The Barons currently at Court never officially allied with either Camelot or Mercia. Some of them went one way, some the other, some stayed out of it completely. And some changed sides to suit themselves. They all have power enough to be useful and some have things other than armies that would benefit the kingdom."

"Really? Like what?" Merlin asked.

"Iron. Wool. Stone quarries. Areas of coast fit for harbouring ships," Arthur explained through a mouthful of his own apple. "And so my father will woo all he can and intimidate the rest."

"I'd really rather not think about your father wooing, thanks," Merlin said tartly and Arthur shook his head at him but grinned. "So are you taking care of the wooing or the intimidating for him?"

"Both," Arthur muttered, his smile falling away again. "But the first one more literally," he said, drinking more of the ale.

"What?"

"Did you notice that the Barons all brought along their daughters? Their unmarried daughters?" Arthur said with a fake smile. "My father dangles me like bait to see who will snap the highest and concede the most in hopes of marriage."

"You're wooing all of them?" Merlin said incredulously.

"No, no," Arthur said, wagging his finger. "I have to show attention to all but favour to none, give hope to each but commit to no-one. An easy task, I'm sure you'll agree."

"Bloody hell, no wonder you're exhausted. One woman is tiring enough to try and understand, let alone eight of them," Merlin said, thinking about how hard he found working out what Gwen was thinking.

"Nine," Arthur said, with a bleak grin and Merlin blinked, counting up the visitors again.

"What, Baron Tarsus' daughter Ysanne as well? She's only thirteen!"

"And in four years she'll be seventeen," Arthur said grimly. "He's throwing her at me as hard as any of the others, believe me. He probably hopes that my father will play the game that long. Or that my first wife dies early and childless," he added bitterly and Merlin winced. He tried to think of a different topic but something about the idea of Arthur's marriage being bait in a big game of power was uncomfortably fascinating.

"But... what about Morgana?" he asked after a little silence and Arthur looked confused.

"What about her?"

"Well, aren't you going to end up marrying her?" Merlin said.

"Me... and Morgana?" Arthur repeated incredulously and then started to laugh. "You thought... seriously?" And he laughed and laughed like Merlin had just said the funniest thing he had heard all year, until he was finally doubled over the table and wiping actual tears from his eyes, completely ignoring the annoyed look Merlin was giving him. "Don't be ridiculous, Merlin," Arthur managed at last, still choking slightly.

"What?" Merlin said defensively. "You're both noble, young, good-looking - shut up," he said as Arthur started to laugh again, "- and you're together a lot and all that."

"Oh, well, if we're together a lot we must be destined for matrimony," Arthur mocked and Merlin shifted uncomfortably because he was just a bit sensitive to mentions of destiny lately. He was fairly sure the Dragon talking about sides of coins meant he was going to spend a lot of time with Arthur too, so maybe that wasenough for destiny despite Arthur's mocking. "I had no idea you were such a romantic, Merlin," Arthur added, leaning forward and studying him, and Merlin gave him a wary look.

He was right to be wary too because after a brief pause Arthur said, "So, just out of interest, how 'good-looking' are we talking here?" in a teasing voice and Merlin was annoyed to find he was actually embarrassed enough for his cheeks to get warm.

"Oh no. I'm not making your head any bigger than it already is," he said and Arthur smirked smugly.

"That good-looking, hm? I'm flattered," Arthur said and Merlin sighed in exasperation and threw his apple core at Arthur's head. He caught it, sadly, and Merlin crossed his arms and glared.

"Well go on then. Explain why it's so ridiculous to the idiot peasant."

"Because, my foolish romantic, Morgana and I marrying would be of no benefit to Camelot. My father would never spend either of us so cheaply."

"Oh," Merlin said. It made sense, in a cold and pragmatic sort of way.

Arthur chuckled again, but it seemed less easy than before. "Look at you. So dismayed by the big, bad court."

"Not dismayed, exactly," Merlin said, trying to think of a way of distracting Arthur again. "Just a little... disappointed."

"How so?"

"You see, I had yours and Morgana's children's names all picked out and everything," Merlin said, smiling gleefully as he got a burst of inspiration.

Arthur stared at him for a moment and raised his eyebrows. "Have I mentioned lately that you are very strange?"

"Only twice so far this week," Merlin answered cheerfully and Arthur nodded seriously.

"Merlin, you are very strange."

"Yes, sire."

"Go on then. Thrill me with your naming prowess," Arthur drawled, failing to completely control a smile.

"Well, I thought you would have four," Merlin improvised. "Two boys to start with -"

"Heir and a spare," Arthur said, propping his head on one hand.

"Exactly. I thought they could be Prince Imperious and Prince Arrogant - taking after their father of course - and then a girl. With your hair and eyes and Morgana's temper, so her real name would be something very grand but you would call her Princess Fluffy just to be annoying."

"Princess Fluffy?" Arthur said, grinning. "Any more offspring in the... offing?"

"Oh, just the one. I thought that one would be called Merlin. The most intelligent and best of the lot, obviously," Merlin said solemnly.

"Obviously," Arthur said sceptically.

"And then, alas, Princes Imperious and Arrogant die in a tragic and bizarre accident involving a goat, three badgers and a pear tree," Merlin said, pulling a distressed face and placing his hand over his heart, and Arthur choked a laugh through the last of the ale. "I think King Merlin sounds rather fine, don't you?"

"Oh really? Getting ideas above your station?"

"Only for my namesake," Merlin denied. "I am quite content where I am."

Arthur looked surprised at that, something that was only natural given how much Merlin generally complained about his duties. Merlin ducked his head away and stacked up the plates and ale mug, wondering what on earth had possessed him to say it. Not that he wanted to be royalty since watching Arthur had convinced him that wasn't all it was cracked up to be, but he did one day want to be more than Arthur's servant.

He supposed it wasn't really that bad though, and it made it easy to look after Arthur and stop him getting killed all the time.

"Well," Arthur said, "I think you should go be content somewhere else now so I can get some sleep."

"Yes, sire," Merlin said, picking up the dishes to take away. He was pleased to see that Arthur was looking more relaxed and sleepy now, so with any luck he would be in a better mood in the morning.

"Oh, and Merlin," Arthur said as Merlin reached the door, and Merlin turned to find him leaning against the doorframe to his bedroom. "Bring some pie tomorrow night." Merlin nodded with a grin and then he ducked out into the corridor.

The plates could go back to the kitchens tomorrow; right now he was heading for bed and some well-deserved rest.

~

The next day the entertainment was a picnic in a large, peaceful glade a little way into the forest. It was supposedly for breakfast, but since it didn't start until nearly midday and went on for most of the afternoon, Merlin wasn't sure the term was really accurate. It made a nice change though, and it was less boring from Merlin's point of view too because he had to keep Arthur supplied with food and look after his horse instead of just standing about like he did at the banquets.

Arthur did look calmer than the day before, but now that Merlin knew to look for it, he could see Arthur trying to keep a very delicate balance going with all the visiting noblewomen. He had to watch closely to find the pattern, but Merlin was certain that by the end of the day, Arthur would have spent exactly the same amount of time with each unmarried girl.

Morgana was doing a lot of apparently aimless circulation of the guests too, but she seemed to be having an easier time of it, possibly because it wasn't her prospective marriage on offer.

Merlin would have to ask Gwen whether Morgana did find it easier or if she was just a better actor than Arthur. Though, to be fair, he didn't think anyone else had noticed how little Arthur was enjoying himself. Arthur smiled a lot after all, and made the ladies smile back. But Merlin knew how Arthur looked when he was actually having fun, and this was all pretend. He also noticed just how often Arthur used the excuse of listening to his father's minstrels to avoid talking, and Merlin knew for certain that Arthur had heard all their songs hundreds of times before.

Merlin was pleased to see that Arthur made an effort to be kind to Ysanne, who was clearly too petrified to do more than nod in response to his remarks; in fact, she was the only one there who got Arthur's genuine attention. The more obviously flirtatious the other ladies got (and there was one in an orange dress that Merlin had decided was nearly as shameless as a tavern wench) the more fixed Arthur's smile became. It was only a matter of time before Arthur snapped and came out with what he was really thinking.

Merlin personally preferred Arthur when he was sarcastic and honest, but he was certain that these court ladies (and Uther for that matter) would not agree. Merlin was clearly going to have to try and get some of them to back off before that happened.

They finally made their way back to the castle in the late afternoon and Merlin spent the next half hour sorting out Arthur's clothes while Arthur sprawled in a chair and watched, pretending that he didn't want to fall asleep right there. It was annoying because Merlin had to do everything by hand, but then he announced that he was going to get Gwen's advice on cleaning techniques and sneaked back to his room and did it by magic instead.

He gave it another half hour and entered Arthur's chambers as quietly as he could. It wasn't a surprise to find Arthur was fast asleep and Merlin just covered him with a blanket and left him to it.

When he returned just before the banquet, Arthur snapped at him that he had a crick in his neck and that Merlin should have woken him, but his eyes were clearer and the blanket was folded neatly instead of being tossed in a heap on the floor so Merlin counted it as a win and concentrated on getting Arthur's cloak to hang correctly.

He finally stood back with his hands on his hips to look Arthur up and down in a last check.

"Do I meet your exacting standards then?" Arthur said sarcastically. "Took you bloody long enough."

"You look very... regal," Merlin said judiciously. He kept the thought that Arthur also looked ever so slightly intimidating to himself. He'd been going for just that effect, sticking to darker tones and more martial-looking clothes, and he thought it worked quite well. With any luck it would put people off flirting with him so much.

"Regal. Does that mean I'm good-looking?" Arthur said, smirking and Merlin sniffed.

"As much as you ever are, I suppose," Merlin shrugged and added, "You're never going to let me forget I said that, are you?"

"Not in a thousand years," Arthur agreed. "And another glorious night begins, oh joy, oh rapture," he said and strode out the door, Merlin trailing after him.

Unfortunately, Merlin's strategy with the clothes didn't work out quite as well as he'd hoped. Some of the ladies seemed to be less inclined to giggle inanely at Arthur but a larger proportion practically clung to him as soon as he got close enough.

That was really quite annoying.

Perhaps Merlin simply hadn't gone far enough. It was obviously going to be difficult to subtly put women off Arthur when the man himself was making every effort to be charming and when Merlin couldn't actually do anything to make Arthur look bad. And if their fathers were putting as much pressure on them as Uther was on Arthur, probably nothing Merlin did would stop them all simpering at him, but he'd wanted to give Arthur at least a little break. He would just have to try harder next time.

Merlin stayed until the dancing started and then made his way out the back of the hall. He collected food from the kitchens, made his way to Arthur's chambers and set it out on the table. Venison and mushroom pie, because Arthur adored mushrooms however he could get them, more bread, more cheese, more ale. Merlin stepped back to check he hadn't forgotten anything and yawned. He should have brought a book from his room so he wouldn't get so bored. He'd just sit down for a minute (it was so unfair that servants didn't get chairs at banquets) and then he'd go and get one.

The next thing Merlin knew, his neck hurt and he was a little too warm. He blinked open his eyes and found he had a blanket thrown over him and Arthur was watching from a silent sprawl in another chair.

"Ow," Merlin said sitting up and Arthur quirked a smile but said nothing as Merlin rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. "Why didn't you wake me up?"

Arthur shrugged. "You didn't have to stay, you know," he said and Merlin blinked. He hadn't even thought of just leaving the food and going to his own room.

"You might have needed something else," he said eventually, feeling a little unnerved at how seriously Arthur was studying him. He usually only got that look after Merlin had just saved his life; Merlin wasn't used to seeing it when he was relaxed and sleepy instead of when his legs were shaky and his heart was pounding with relief and terror. It made his heart speed a little now, even, just through association.

"Yes, I might," Arthur agreed quietly and Merlin stood up and stretched and started folding the blanket again while he waited for Arthur to give him an order. When Arthur stayed silent, Merlin shot him a glance and found he was still under scrutiny. "What I really need is to go forward to the day after tomorrow when all our honoured guests will have left. Can you manage that?" Arthur said and Merlin smiled ruefully and shook his head.

"Sorry, sire."

"Then I suppose I'll have to settle for you fetching my mug," Arthur said. Merlin gave him a disbelieving look because the mug was about a foot away, but Arthur's smirk was half-hearted and tired and he found himself collecting it anyway.

"Thanks," Arthur muttered into it and Merlin sat down again.

"I would if I could, you know," he said and Arthur nodded resignedly. "Do you..." Merlin said and hesitated.

"What?"

"Do you actually like any of them? The ladies here," Merlin asked and Arthur shoved out of his chair and paced over to the window and back.

"It doesn't matter if I do or not," he said, tension holding his shoulders tight, and Merlin cursed his curiosity. He should have just let it go, but after watching Arthur all day he'd wanted to know how Arthur would react if Uther set up his marriage with any of those girls, if he really did dislike them as much as he seemed to or if there was a chance he could be happy with the arrangement. "But I don't think my banns will be called just yet. Not this time, anyway," Arthur added, "my father likes to keep his options open."

Merlin frowned while he thought about that. He could see Uther stringing everyone along for a while, but eventually Arthur was going to end up in a marriage that had everything to do with ambition and nothing to do with his happiness. It was a rather depressing thought. A lonely thought too. Merlin shivered and went to tidy the table.

Arthur came over and leant against it, watching Merlin with his most unreadable look. "You look like you're having thoughts again," he said quietly and Merlin hesitated and then turned to face him.

"I don't think it's fair that how you feel doesn't matter. Everyone says how much your father loved your mother," he said. "I would think he'd want the same for you."

"They married for politics, not love, and got lucky afterwards," Arthur said.

"Well maybe you'll be lucky too," Merlin said, trying to smile encouragingly. As comfort went, it probably wasn't his best, but the other option was telling Arthur that he'd never be lonely because Merlin's path went along with his all their lives and he wasn't sure that would cheer Arthur up at all.

"Worried about my happiness, Merlin?" Arthur said lightly, tilting his head

"Somebody should be," Merlin said hotly, angry suddenly that Arthur was pretending not to care. "You deserve something more."

"Maybe I do," Arthur said with a slow, thoughtful smile and Merlin blinked, realising suddenly just how close they'd ended up standing.

"Right!" Merlin said brightly with a nervous grin as Arthur straightened up, making them even closer, "That's good, that's a good thing."

"So glad you think so," Arthur said with a smirk, watching Merlin's face in apparent fascination.

"Um. So I'll just..." he said, gesturing at the plates on the table. He thought for a second that Arthur was going to stop him, but then he just stepped aside and let Merlin scoop them up. "I'm sure you want your rest now," Merlin babbled, backing away and for some reason that made Arthur's smirk turn into a full grin.

"I'm sure I do. Oh, and Merlin?" he called as Merlin reached to open the door and Merlin nearly dropped the plates as he turned. "Thank you for the pie."

"You're, um, welcome. Sire," Merlin said, feeling progressively more confused. Since when did Arthur thank him for things other than saving his life? He juggled the plates briefly, got himself and them out and the door closed without disaster and then fled back to his room.

Magic, monsters and people trying to kill them both was getting to be almost normal, but whatever that had been at the end with Arthur was just weird.

~