Change [Book 1 of The Elemental Marks]

Chapter 16

Lina met Carson's eyes almost by accident, but once the two locked, neither looked away. Carson's eyes were an icy gray. In the right light, they could've been blue, but paired with his dark t-shirt and the sunlight from the kitchen windows, they were undeniably gray.

"I'll be upstairs," Alia commented to no one in particular, "telling Wyatt that girl talk is over."

Lina half expected Carson to laugh, or at least she would have if she didn't have a perfect read on his expression. He broke his eyes away after another moment, just in time to watch Alia exit the room.

There was a long moment of silence between them that seemed so much worse when neither of them would look at the other.

"So," Carson said, still not looking at her, "I'm going to be honest here. I don't pride myself on knowing a lot about girls." The part of Lina that still really liked Carson wanted to laugh. The stubborn, angry and mortified parts of Lina were interested to see where this was going. Outwardly, she gave him no reaction. "After...all that happened, and you said it was fine, you didn't really mean that, right?"

He is being dead serious right now, Lina thought in amazement. She was glad she was sitting, because if not she would have had to. She was torn between laughing at it all and the new wave of tears that seemed to be creeping up on her even though she had been sure she was cried out.

"Yes. And I think if you knew anything about girls, you wouldn't have had to ask that." Lina didn't want to tease him, didn't want to let her guard down again, but it was so easy. So natural.

Carson simply shrugged. "Goes to show you then. What exactly isn't fine?"

He was back to looking at her, but instead of meeting her eyes, his scanned her face, searching for clues. She wondered if he could tell she had been crying. He had to know, even from the conversation they had through her door.

"What I did in front of the Consul," she started. It was your fault. She stopped. That wasn't right. It was the Carson in her head's fault.

"Was okay," he said, picking up where she left off. "It happens. It's not going to be counted against you. Certainly not by me."

"Do you even know why I'm mad at you?" she asked, audibly exasperated. Three lines into this conversation and it was already too much.

Carson smiled, but not happily. "As a matter of fact, that confuses me the most."

"I--" Lina knew what she had to do. She had to tell him she couldn't do...this anymore. She needed to focus on her bending, really focus on it. She needed to get better. So she didn't hurt anyone. So she could get back to her family in Philly. She didn't want to but..."I don't know." She really didn't want to, though. "You were being a bit of an ass earlier."

To her surprise, Carson didn't look particularly shocked. Instead of arguing, he sighed. "That was not my intention. It definitely wasn't my intention to mislead you."

He was good at knowing what to say. Almost too good. It was breaking down her disposition.

"I should've told you that the Clave was coming sooner. I should have gave you a better warning, should have really explained what they would expect of you. I get that now. I never wanted to see you--well, have what happened in there happen."

The way he couldn't even talk about her mistake put Lina on edge again. "It's okay," she said, trying her best not to reveal anything. "Maybe I just shouldn't have expected you to tell me at all."

"No," Carson said fiercely. "That's not what I'm saying. I want to be able to talk to you about these things, want to be honest with you. It's just that, I have certain responsibilities. Damian trusts me to do things for him as the most experienced bender. Usually, I'm perfectly fine with all of that.