That Was Me (Book2)

I Lost My Little Girl 18

"...Well I Woke Up Late This Morning 

My Head Was In The Whirl 

Only When I Realized 

I Lost My Little Girl..."

~by Paul McCartney *information below

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"What are we going to do without the money?!" I exclaimed. 

The others quickly looked at me.

"Paul, is that all you can think of? Is the money?" My dad asked angrily, he was yelling at me. 

"I...i..d..." I stood up and went upstairs. I wish i had been in my trance at that time. A few minutes later Bess walked in and sat down on the edge of my bed and ran her fingers through my hair. 

"Paul, its okay. Don't feel like your dad is mad at you. He's not. Just like you, he doestn know how to handle it. Paul, i know you miss her dearly, you were such a clingy little boy." She smiled.

I looked at her. She knew how to handle it. 

"I..I do love her." I whispered and began to cry again.

Bess pulled me into a hug. My eyes got heavy and i adventually fell asleep. 

-

I woke up and noticed it was 1pm. And my covers were over me. I sat up and saw Bess sitting down reading something. I realized the events of earlier weren't a dream. Bess looked up at me.

"Are you okay Paul?" She asked.

I nodded. My Aunt poked her head in. "Paul, your friends are here too see you."

I nodded and John came in, followed soon by Hannah. 

"Im sorry Paul." Hannah said giving me a hug. John looked around him, not sure what to say.

"I think...ill be okay." I said trying to hold tears in. "Um, guys, this is my cousin Bess." I introduced Bess to them.

"Hello, im Hannah." Hannah smiled.

"Im John." John shook her hand.

"Hello. Well ill see you. Want anything?" Bess asked.

"Its fine Bess, don't play maid." I told her and she smiled, she played maid all the time when i was little, either i was sick or we were just playing for fun, and when i was sick, mum was the nurse. I frowned.

"Is something wrong?" She asked noticing my frown.

"Yeah." I blinked and smiled at her.

"Okay, well bye."

"You sure you don't want anything Paul?" Hannah asked.

"Yes." I threw the covers off me and got out.

"Want to go for a walk?" John asked, he looked concerned. 

"If you want to." I said and got my shoes on.

We walked downstairs and i went to dad's room. The others waited int he kitchen for me. 

"Dad?"

He looked at me. 

"Im sorry."

"No, Paul, im sorry. You couldn't help it. You didn't know how to react. At least your Aunt was here, to set me straight about you. Im sorry."

I gave him a hug and then left the room.

Me and the others walked out the door. Bess's husband and her little boy came walking up the steps.

"You alright Paul?" He asked.

"Yeah, i will be." I smiled. "Hey Dillan." I patted Dillan on the head. He reached his arms out for me and i took him in my arms. Then gave him back to his father and walked off with my friends.

"I love your family Paul." Hannah smiled and hooked her arm with mine.

"Me too." I said.

John was quiet for a long time. Im sure Hannah asked him to come, John isn't the kind to go soft on some one and ask if their alright all the time. He had other things on his mind.

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We got back home and i went to bed. Thats when i began to feel terrible, like i didn't belong in this world any longer. I cried the rest of the night. Why'd you have to die mum, when i needed you most? We needed you most! I need her sweet voice to talk to me or sing to me. She said she didn't have a good voice, but i thought she had a lovely one. I did lose her, she was so happy thought, like nothing was bothering her. She had her two boys and her husband. And quit a full time job to spend more time with us. How i wish i could be with her again, i wish i was young again, no, i wish i could've saved her.

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"...Well Her Clothes Were Not Expensive 

               Her Hair Didn't Always Curl 

I Don't Know Why I Loved Her 

But I Loved My Little Girl..."

~I LOST MY LITTLE GIRL by Paul McCartney 

This song was written for his mum when he was 14, after her death.The first song he wrote really. He performs this too! Its so sweet!