D. Gray - man [ laven ] FanFiction- Scotomaphobia

Chapter 2 Acclimation and Adaption

I finally cleared my throat, it seemed like ages, however it was under half a minute. 27 seconds of silence. I responded in a neutral voice, "We will go back to HQ and have Komui look at you. We'll see what he says, alright?" I watched Allen as he nodded and I sucked in a deep breath. 'Let's hope this works'

"Let's try walking with you holding onto my arm. That way you won't fall and you can get used to how it's like." I suggested, Allen nodded. He seemed to like having someone else take charge. I knew he must have a lot going through his mind.

Allen

I didn't realize I was even holding onto Lavi's arm until he mentioned it. It was almost a subconscious action. Actually, it probably was. My mind had realized I needed something to steady myself against while adjusting to this, hopefully not permanent, situation. It was a strange feeling walking. Each step I took seemed to be like it was on quicksand. It felt like every step I took the ground sunk deeper but when expecting for that the ground came up too soon. I needed to keep walking though. Even if that walking was more like stumbling.

I was very clumsy at first and I almost took both Lavi and I when I thought the steps were more than they actually were. I was lucky that I had Lavi. I would have been left behind because of being too much of a limitation if I was with Kanda. Or he would help me but in the most verbally abusive way. Actually on second thought Kanda wouldn't be the most verbally abusive. There were other much finer examples. However of the people I could be stuck on a mission with, Kanda would be a really bad choice. Lenalee would blame it on me because of coming up with the idea of splitting up. If I was with Miranda or Krory on the other hand, we wouldn't have split up. But if we did Miranda would be the best bet, she would've been able to reverse my eyesight issues, at least until we could get back to our rooms. Krory would also have been good he would help me get back like Lavi, but I'd bet he'd have been sweet talked into getting some handy-dandy "remedy".

I wasn't sure how long it took to get back to our room in town but we were able to, which I found surprising. I also found out it was easier to get lost in thoughts when not having eyesight. I wondered if this was what it was like for Marie. I was grateful Lavi helped me sit on the bed, because when I had attempted to sit on my own I had almost ended up on the floor. Lavi told me to stay put while he contacted HQ. I couldn't tell what time it was but there was an ache in my body to just be able to see. I wished there was a way to will it back but it seemed there was no way for that. A distraction, that's what I needed. "Timcanpy?" a questioning call escaped my lips. However where ever Timcanpy was it wasn't anywhere near as no Tim started fluttering around me. Even without Timcanpy here Tim still provided an escape from focusing on time passing as I was left to ponder where Tim could be.

When my thoughts eventually stopped I noticed the silence and the emptiness of room. It seemed to grow around me, the silence making it seem like I was in a void space where nothing but me existed. My muscles seemed to twitch, my body aching for me to move to do something, to fight. The lack of thoughts was actually just a lacking of what seemed like a connected series of thought flowing through my mind. I was thinking, but about nothing and yet everything at the same time and each new one rushed like a raging stream carried away before I could delve into it for much longer. I tried to quell the rushing water but the more I tried the more my body longed to move, while I longed to be able to focus on one singular thing.

My muscles could have been soothed by a walk outside, but a run would be more relieving. But where could I run if I couldn't see? I wanted to work. But it seemed there was nothing I could do. I shifted uncomfortably on the bed. If I could silence my mind like the silence that ebbed away at my body... I turned. Maybe if I talked... but there wasn't anyone inside the room. Nothing. I was trapped in the room but even more so I was trapped inside of myself. I was a bird, a robin, trapped... caged in my body. But if there was something to do, if I could just see I could calm and then maybe my breath would return to me. If I could relax... if I could just sleep... The more I thought the more awake and tired I felt. When would Lavi get back? Lavi was always the talkative one and with his constant droning on and on it would be so easy just to sleep. His voice would easily fill the dead air inside the room and turn it lively.