Diana (One Direction)

Source of Happiness

AN: Ahhhhh! I wrote this while listening to SOML. Major feels right now. Try to read this while listening to it pweety please?

You can own it, you don't even know me

For my first few weeks here, I had trouble with sleeping. I never really remembered actually falling asleep back then. I usually slept during the morning, then stayed up all night and drew. I blamed the lack age of sleep on the previous events, or the "homey" scenery here. And by homey I meant white walls and grey floors made out of concrete.

I shifted around in my bed, trying to find a comfortable spot on this lousy mattress. Pleased with lying on my side, I closed my eyes and listened to the soft breathing of Elaine on the opposite side of the room. I usually just stayed awake and let my mind drift off to whatever, until I eventually fell asleep.

Some of the things I think about go along with the topics of my family.

According to Sam, dad was a pretty decent person before I was born. Well, I shouldn't be surprised Sam said that. Even now, dad thinks of Sam as his "golden child". A scholarship winning football player, volunteer worker, and oh yeah. He didn't "kill" his mother.

I was a pretty decent person too, don't get me wrong. I always tried to compete with Sam though, constantly attempting to gain my father's approval. But all I got was neglect and pure hatred.

I was student council president, avolunteer worker, a school cheerleader, head of art club, and a waitress. Most of those things, I didn't want to be. I mainly did them since money was a tight thing in my family, and I needed any scholarship I could get my hands on.

And with being all those things, came all the assumptions. People always told me that I had the "perfect life". I never really understood how some people idolized me. It's pretty ironic, considering the circumstances right now. Not everyone has the "perfect life".

I turned on my other side so I could see the time.

2:17 A.M.

I sighed shifted again so that I was lying on my back. I've got to at least try to get some sleep. I pulled the blanket up to my chin and closed my eyes. And soon enough, I fell asleep.

~:*:~

I dreamt last night. For the first time since I've been here, I dreamt.

I was a weird dream though, but it's better than no dream at all.

I dreamt that I was standing on a boat and there was another boat across from me, a far distance away. From what I could tell, someone else was on that boat. I paddled my boat towards the other, but the more and more I paddled, the more and more the other boat got further away. I got close to the other boat before and when I tried to touch it with my hand, the boats immeidately would be a far distance apart again.

I woke up, sweaty and confused. Whenever I dreamt as a child, I immediately would tell Sam. He'd either give me advice on what the dream actually meant or concluded that I've lost it.

I stopped going to him for advice a couple years after that. Instead of going to him, I'd grab a piece of paper and sketch a scene in the dream. Since I couldn't really couldn't explain what happened in words, the drawings helped express my thoughts.

I got up from my bed and walked quietly across the room, towards my little desk. I sat down on the old wooden chair and pulled out my sketchpad. I drew the two boats and the outline of the person on the one boat. Once finished, I looked at it for a spilt second, then shoved it back in the drawer as I heard the door open.

"Come down for breakfast," Meg called from outside. The door shut softly and Elaine started to groan.

"I'm sleeping in today, Diana." She stretched her arms above her head and threw the blankets back over her tall form.

I walked to our tiny bathroom and began to brush my teeth and wash my face. I looked at my complextion in the mirror. I had really bad under eye cirlces and my face looked washed out from all the crying and lackage of sleep. I combed my hair out and walked out of the bathroom.

"I'll bring you some toast," I called over to Elaine as I walked out the door. She groaned in response.

I shut our door and walked down a series of halls to go to the cafeteria. It wasn't that bad in there. All the patients were in there, so all the white made the lighting look really bright.

I grabbed some cereal bars and orange juice and sat in the far left corner table, my usual table. I usually sat alone because, again, I didn't really have any friends here. Unless you count Elaine and partially Meg. As I chewed silently, as a hand tapped on my shoulder.

I turned around and met blue eyes.

"Mind if I sit with you?" Niall asked, guestering to the seat next to me. What was he doing here? Shouldn't he be having some five star course breakfast in some fancy hotel or something? Where were the others?

"Um, sure." I stared at him as he smiled at me and sat down. "Shouldn't you be in some extravagent hotel in Los Angeles or something?" I blurted out. Sam did always say I was never really good with words.

He chuckled. "Actually, we're staying here." He must've seen the look of ashtonishment on my face because then he added. "Los Angeles is overrated anyways."

Niall grinned as he saw me laugh. He spread jelly around his toast and looked around the cafeteria.

"It's nothing like what your used to, right?" I asked.

He shrugged. "At least I don't have little six year olds trying to pit pocket me." He said laughing. I let out a small laugh, causing him to smile at me again.

"Do you ever get tired of it?...of all the attention I mean."

He swallowed, then answered. "Not really, no. You learn to get used to it over time. Mostly because all of us feel lucky to have all of this and we try not to take any of it for granted. You know what I mean?"

I nodded. So maybe they weren't all that arrogant as I played them out to be.

"So where are the other boys?"

"Zayn and Harry are still asleep, Liam's in the shower, and Louis' on the phone with Eleanor...his girlfriend." I think he added the last part in because he might've seen the look of confusion on my face. I told you I wasn't really familiar with these people's live.

"Well, enough of the boys and I. How about you? Do you ever get tired of it?...of all the sessions I mean."

He grinned again as I sent him a glare. "Well you learn to get used to it over time," I mimicked in a failed Irish accent. "But, I guess we all have something to look forward to everyday. Like your one source of happiness in each day," I said back in my regular voice.

I thought what I said was pretty accurate because that's what all the employees tell us here. To find our "one source of happiness", to try to at least make this place seem a little less dreadful.

"And what would your's be?" Niall asked, looking up at me.

I felt my heart start to flutter and heat rise up to my cheeks as I stared back into his eyes. As cliche as it may sound, they looked like the prettiest shaade of blue.

"I'm still trying to find out..."

~Xx~

You like it? I know it's pretty short and boring, but I tried the best I could under the circumstances I'm in right now.

You guys excited for Halloween? Comment what your being down below...even though 99% won't. *pouts* why don't you guys wuvv me? jkjk

Thank you for all the votes and stuff!

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