Diana (One Direction)

Not Okay

How could someone not miss you at all?

So yeah...I was abused by my boyfriend...I thought I could help him and I didn't tell because I loved him. It's funny how you think you love someone and you sacrifice everything you have for them, then it comes back to bite you in the ass.

It's been weeks since I talked or thought about that night where he hit me in public. I've been switched from building to building, like a traveller. Everywhere I go, people give me the same look of pity and sympathy telling me cliche things like "you're brave" or "you did the right thing", even though I didn't do anything.

After all of this, I haven't heard from my dad either. Figures, he hadn't loved me at all. Which just added to my long list of "why I should do it".

Therapy session after therapy session made me feel like a criminal. They always asked me the same questions and purse their lips when I didn't answer. It's not that I choose not to answer, it was that I was afraid to answer.

I wad afraid that if I told everything that it would lead me back to cutting...I always found some excuse for myself so I could cut.

Some perfect life, huh?

So about a couple weeks ago after I finished yet another failed session, they decided to put me into this program where it's suppose to "help teens find their inner selves". And so I guess, there are younger people running the program instead of regular adults. It starts tomorrow and I can't exactly say that I'm excited about it.

Again, it'll just be people giving you the same looks and words of encouragement, but the people will be teens who supposedly "know what we're going through".

I really doubt it though.

Anyways, back to the story.

*5 months earlier*

"GET OFF OF HER."

I saw my older brother, Sam, rush forward us and punch Eddie square in the jaw, temporarily knocking him out. My chest pounded and I could see the blood surrounding my body.

"August! Oh my god! We need help! Someone help!" Sam lift me into his arms and ran inside our house. "Stay here," he said laying me down on the kitchen counter. He ran to the other side of the room and grabbed the phone.

I barely had time to register what was happening as my dad came down from the stairs. I turned my head the other way, avoiding eye contact with him. If he saw me in this condition...who knew what he would to me as well.

"Yes, my sister's boyfriend beat her up and she's in a terrible condition right now!-what?-I'm not lying-why would I lie about something this serious," Sam growled into the phone. "Just please bring help right away!" He hung up the same time that my dad walked in. I could feel my dad staring at me. As I looked at the other side of the room.

"What happened to your sister, Sam?" he asked nonchalantly as he looked out the open front door. "And why is Eddie on the ground?"

"Why are you acting so calm about this, dad?! It's pretty obvious what happened! Eddie beat her up on the driveway!" Sam shouted.

I wasn't at all surprised by my dad's reaction to all of this. I never believed that he truly loved me at all. He blamed me for my mother's death...and not a day goes by when he doesn't remind me how much he hates me. He's told me so many times, that it got drilled into my head. He loves Sam, though. He thinks of Sam as his "trophy", something that he feels he should show off to the world. And he thinks of me as something he should be ashamed of.

Dad chuckled with no humor. "Your sister deserved what just happened to her. It's a punishment for killing your mother," he spat.

Sam ignored dad and rushed across the room over to me. "Dammit August, why didn't you tell us-why didn't you tell me that that bastard was doing these things to you! He could've killed you if it weren't for me!"

Groaning I turned my head towards him, feeling slightly dizzy from all the pain and loss of blood. "I didn't want to you to react like this...I knew he loved me so I didn't say anything..."

Grabbing a napkin, he wiped the blood from my face. "You should've told me though...it's not like you not to do the right thing."

I tried to laugh, but it came out as me hacking out more blood. "Since when have you been the one to give advice, Sam?" I grinned.

He grinned back, tying a hand towel around a cut I had on my arm. "Only August Elizabeth Harp would be the only one to smile and joke around when severely hurt. You're the strangest sister."

"I want to be remembered as someone who had a smile on their face when they die," I said quietly, hearing the faint sound of a siren in the background.

Sam's smile faded. "Don't say that...you're not going to die...I won't let you."

I gave him the biggest smile I could, which turned out to look more of a scowl.

"Hate to break up the brother saves sister reunion, but there's an ambulance pulling up, so get out of my house," dad said coldly as he climbed back up the stairs. I knew he directed the last part to me.

Sam glared at him. "Don't listen to dad, August. He's full of shit and pretty soon people will know that." He lift me back into his arms and ran outside to the paramedics.

"Don't worry, we'll make sure you'll be okay, sweetheart," one of the peramedics with short red hair said to me.

I hope I will.

~Xx~

Sorry for the late update! School's been up my ass this week and I've been kinda lazy:(. Hmm, now that I reread this chapter, I realized that people wouldn't be this calm if this happened in real life, but oh well. This is wattpad anways, so anything's possible! I'm strange, aren't I? But anyways, thank you guys for all the reads, votes, and comments! They literally mean the world. You guys are literally my besties and I love you all to pieces! Have a great day:)

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