Unmasked

Chapter 13

~unedited & unreviewed~

Chapter 13:

I pretend to be bedridden for the next few days and perhaps the pretending truly gets to me because soon I find myself feeling ill.

Just not the kind of ill that Harriet's soup can fix.

I know I should forget about it -about him but the harder I try, the more the scene of that night presses and the more mix feelings come.

What is it I feel? Guilt? Sorrow? Loneliness? Even though I barely knew him, though it doesn't feel that way. Everything I saw from him that night felt like enough to know how he really is.

Is it just me? Perhaps he's already forgotten about me. It'd be easier if I knew he did but that thought only made the mixed negative emotions stronger.

I squeeze my eyes shut to try to block the oncoming headache but it instead brings it stronger and along with the unwanted image of the prince watching me leave from outside his castle and him holding my mask.

There's a slight knock before Harriet comes in through my door, with a small loaf of bread in one hand and a napkin in the other. More guilt fills me, because of my "illness" Harriet's doing all of my chores which involve caring after my mother and sisters. Harriet can barely stand the mentioning of anyone of their names so I can just imagine what she goes through just serving to their every order.

"Thank you," I say to her as she hands me the bread, "I honestly don't believe they let you bring this to me."

I know my own mother.

"You think I care about what that hag has to say?" There she goes again, "I honestly can't believe how much mess that woman leaves everywhere she goes and it'll kill one of her children to even lift a finger. Oh Mary honey, I don't know how you can put up with it!"

I frown, "I'm sorry you have to put up with them."

Harriet only shakes her head, "oh no, you got nothing to be sorry for, my working for them directly is only temporary while yours isn't. You Deserve a break, especially if you have to put up with them every hour whenever they call."

I try to make a smile but it doesn't exactly come out, Harriet sits at the edge of my bed.

"Eat up," she says, "it's essential."

"Harriet was it selfish of me to go to that ball?" I find myself asking suddenly, "should I have not gone?"

"Don't talk nonsense, I've put up with enough of it with your mother."

I look down at the small loaf in my hand.

"What is it?" I hear her ask.

I only shake my head in response, she probably doesn't know yet. Maybe Anya said something to her? No. Harriet wouldn't keep quiet about it if she did and besides, I'm supposed to be forgetting about him anyway. He was only someone I meet at a ball, nothing more.

"Nothing," I lie. There's something, I'm just unsure of what it is.

"You know how I feel about lying," Harriet reminds me and I look up at her. Her eyebrow is raised in suspension but I only smile weakly and nod.

She says nothing more. She stands and leaves.

I can't just do nothing; I remove the blankets and stand.

Anya has to know somebody that can help me.

~*~

"A letter?" She asks, her eyebrow raising, "I don't think he reads letters."

"Not if he knew it was from me," I'm sure of it.

I have to speak to him, say one last thing to him -though I still don't know what that'll be. I still have to try.

I know Anya should have connections if she's as well known as Harriet claimed her to be. Not only that but she sells dresses, so she must have come across some people.

She shakes her head, "I only know a messenger..."

"Then that's enough!"

"I'm sorry Mary, I can't do what you want me to do, or ask him to do what you want him to do."

"Why not?" I feel something in me drop and my throat dries.

"You don't understand the trouble you'll get in if he finds out who you are." She looks down, her arms crossed, and the looks back up at me, her eyes full of what feels like pity.

"Not just with your mom but with the law as well."

"It's illegal for a rank as myself to even consider speaking to him."

"It was illegal for you to even go to the ball in the first place."

At that I look down at her floorboards. I knew that it was wrong but to hear it said out loud sets me.

I already knew it was illegal for a lower rank to even believe he was at the same level as a high rank, even a middle rank, but I never believed that it would apply to me. I never believed I would be thrown into a low rank by my own mother, that I'd sneek off to a high rank ball or fall in love with highest rank there is.

Fall in love.

I think it's the first time I said that. Is it? It feels like it.

"Then I can send it anonymously then,"

She shakes her head again, "only someone truly trusted can deliver anonymous letters and only on special days."

"Which would be..?"

" I'm sorry Mary,"

I sigh heavily, "okay then, thank you anyways."

"I'm sorry I couldn't help as much as I wanted too," she apologizes.

I only shrug in response, "I'll find a way to speak to him."

I will.

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sorry, I did plan to make this longer but school and all has me stumped and creativity blocked :(

hope you enjoy! have a nice day :)