A Rambling Place

Hush Now Quet Now

TRIGGER WARNIGN I AM TIRED AND FUCK IS A PRETTY WORD SO IF YOU DONT LIKE TO READ IT THEN FRICK YOU

It is twelve thirty am and honestly I am so tired why is writing so much effort. Not that I've been writing actual stories because that noise can go get thoroughly sodomized. So basically I wenton girlsgogames.com, a terrible website that you mustn't see. It's a sin in the bible, right next to "don't write shitty rants on wattpad in the wee hours of the morning",

but you know what????

I'm a sinner, so I did both. While I was on HereticsHaveHankerings.com I realized that this website was crappy.

"Wow, this website is crappy!!" Cairo said while crying and playing ten thousand Frozen flash games that look like they were made by a rich ten-year-old who loves shutterstock drawings. "Bu t I wonder... IS it homeo???"

Thus, Cairo began to search the wide fucking expanse of one children's website for as much gay shit as he could find. Alas, there was none. Not a goddamn gay in sight, not even with the actually unbelievable pile of identical kissing games that feel just a little bit kinky when you read the titles in a sexy voice. There was only one thing to do now... Play Love Tester Deluxe in the most embarrassing fashion possible until the sun comes up.

But just as our young freak was about to carry out his wildest romantic fantasies in the tamest and most preteen-girly way possible, he saw it. SARA'S FUCKING XOOKING CLASS

lET METELL YOU A THING OR TWO ABOUT SARS'S MOTHERFUKIN COOKING CLASS. THERE ARE 131 GMES. HOW MANY DO YOU NEED??? MAKE A COOKBOOK GODDAMNIT YOU ARE WASTING THE INTERNET. AND ALSO, WHAT COULD ANYONE EVER ENJOY THESE FOR IF THEYRE LIKE NINE. HOW THE HELL AM I, A VER PRETTY NINE YEAR OLD GIRL WHO GIGGLES TOO MUCH, SUPPODES TO MAKE CHICKEN FETTUCCINE. HOW/?? WHAT EVEN IS AN OVEN. SOME SHITTY HEAT MAKER IN YOUR HOUSE THAT JUST SORT OF SITS THERE BEING USEFL FOR JACK SHIT UNLESS YOU WANT CHICKEN FETTUCCINE???/ SOUNDS LIKE CAVEMAN TECHNOLOGY. THATS WHAT MICROWAVES ARE FOR. I MEAN HOLY SHIT EVEN THE NAME MICROWAVE SOUNDS RAD AS HELL, SOUNDS LIKE THERE ARE TINY SURFERS AND WHATNOT. BUT SERIOUSLT WHAT IS UP WITH SARA'S COOKING CLASS. I REMEMBER JUST VAGUELY SEEING IT OUT OF THE CORNER of my eye and somehow, out of the hurricane of bullshit games on this website, sara's cooking class was the eye of the storm. I never forgot, like a vision in time, remaining with me forever. All those shitty Elsa games I could take a glance at, maybe get a quick laugh, and move on. Sara, though... She was the abyss staring back into me. A misogynistic, shitty flash game abyss, and I felt it echo in the chambers of my deepest being. I remeber having no idea why, why I saw her so clearly among the wreckage of a dignified gaming website. Why was she the final straw?

I still do not know, and I may never. Perhaps she is the true leader of the crappy flash games revolution. Perhaps it was her quiet presence, ever so slightly demeaning young girls in the name of cooking and ad revenue, that led the charge of unofficial Disney Princess surgery games and dozens upon dozens of the same "click and hold the mouse to smooch the hot guy" games. Maybe the true Sara was the friends we made along the way.