It's Only Logical | Big Bang Theory

The Smart Paradox

"So this is where you flush. It usually works," Penny says with a slight laugh. She is giving me the big tour of her apartment. Although still feeling a little ill from yesterday, I chose to accept Penny's offer to move in as quickly as possible.
"I know how a toilet works," I tell her with a laugh, hoping this is the last thing she'll be showing of her apartment with excruciating detail.
"I know. I'm sorry," she replies with a shrug. "I'm just not used to having a roommate,"
"We're in the same boat then," I tell her, moving out of the bathroom hoping she'll follow. "I'm an only child so I haven't been equipped with the right experience," Although Penny and I have some obvious cultural (?) differences, I'm positive we'll get along. It can't hurt to learn from another perspective. I'm sure she feels the same.
"You know, I gotta tell you. When Leonard told me you were yet another nerd, I felt a little down," she says as she plops herself in the couch. I raise my eyebrows. "No, it's just that you're all really smart. I'm not," she continues casually with yet another shrug.
"A Ph.D. isn't the ticket to smartness. You're probably just a smart girl who chose the wrong friends," I suggest with a smile. She laughs.
"Are you telling me you're all drug addicts?"
"What happens at Caltech stays at Caltech," I retort.
"Speaking of," she begins. "What's up with you and Raj?" she asks, scooting closer. I feel my head turning in her direction and my cheeks involuntarily burning.
"Raj? What do you mean?" I ask.
"Aren't you working on some project together?" she then asks. "This is me making an attempt at being your kind of smart,"
"Oh!" I hear myself saying, a bit too loudly. "Of course, no, yeah, we're working on something." I nod. "It's awesome, really," Penny looks at me questioningly.
"Okaaay? That didn't sound very Ph.D-like," she laughs.
"Well, that was... that was me trying to explain it in your kind of smart," We both laugh.
"I totally don't feel down about you anymore, Lucille," Oh, hey, she remembers my name. "I think we're going to have a blast,"

They're serving hummus today. My stomach is craving food after that huge amount of brainstorming Raj and I just did.
'I've been LONGING FOR hummus for this past month,' I read as I sit down. I look at Raj who is trying to both stuff his mouth and text at the same time.
'Why hummus?' I text back.
'It's soooo healthy. And my mother loves it when I talk about it.' I read. I raise my eyebrows. 'It's non-cow...' he adds and shrugs as I look at him, shaking my head.
"Bonjour, lady and Indian," a voice greets us. Howard sits down next to Raj.
"Hi, Howard," I say, taking a look at his plate. He is definitely not having hummus. "I hear tonight will be full of stars," I begin, mostly addressing Raj. "Perhaps we'll be able to get a real good look at some of the more shy ones," I continue, fidgeting with my fork. It's always good to practice your astrophysics outside work. Howard looks at me with unreadable eyes while he slowly chews.
"Are you asking Raj on a date?" he asks, also slowly. I slam the fork against my tray harshly, involuntarily.
"No. What? This is a perfect opportunity to practice our astrophysics outside work!" I repeat straight from my mind, and he retorts with a pair of furrowed brows.
"And it's not like we have work tomorrow so we have all night!" I say with a smile only for it to fade when I realise that that didn't come out right. They seem to agree. My heart pace begins to quicken. My intention was not to ask him on a date. "Besides..." I continue, picking my fork back up. "Penny will be there," I say with my chin raised. I didn't actually ask her but I can always tell Raj she changed her mind. Raj leans over to Howard and whispers in his ear.
"Raj says it sounds like fun," Howard shrugs and sticks his fork back into his chicken.
"Great," I reply. "Awesome," And with that, Leonard approaches and takes the seat next to me.
"What are you talking about?" he asks with a smile on his face.
"Lucille and Raj have a date," Howard jumps in. Leonard's mouth turns into an O and his eyebrows shoot up.
"No! No, we don't." I say, shooting Howard a glare and turning to Leonard. "The sky will be very clear tonight. It's perfect for stargazing," I explain. He nods.
"Sounds romantic to me..." Howard butts in. I shoot him another glare.
"I told you..."
"Yes, I know, Penny is coming," Howard repeats, gesturing his fork above his head.
"Really? She hasn't told me," Leonard says. I freeze, stabbing the plate with my fork until it makes a screeching sound, making everyone jump.
"Sorry..." I say, dropping it.
"Why is Penny coming?" Leonard asks befuddled, his eyebrows furrowed and his mouth open.
"Uh..." I begin. "She wants to be smart," I say, only to have all three of them turn to me. "No! I mean, she wants to make an effort at being smart-er," I try. "Our kind of smart,"
"Oh!" Leonard smiles. "I'll come too then. The rooftop of our apartment is great for stargazing," he continues. I nod. Awesome. Gre-
"Great! It's a double-date then," Howard exclaims, a superior smirk plastered all over his lips.

"Penny!" I say and knock on the door of our apartment. I just got back from work. Traffic was terrible. Raj and Leonard will be here soon. "Penny!" I knock again, slightly more desperate. Penny still doesn't know that she's going stargazing. Unless Leonard already told her. "Penny!" I say, knocking even harder. The door is opened by a frightened Penny.
"Lucille, you live here! You don't have to knock. I thought you were Sheldon," she says, turning back to our apartment.
"I can't find my keys," I say in a hurry. She turns to me.
"Are you stressed?" she asks.
"Yes!" I reply, dropping my jacket before attacking my closet in order to find something else to wear. Why does it matter?
"What's going on?" she asks, placing herself in my door frame. She is wearing casual shorts and a top, and her hair is fixed in a messy ponytail. At least I think it's a ponytail.
"We're going stargazing," I say, my head disappeared in the midst of the wardrobe that I still haven't had time to organize properly.
"What?" I hear her saying with confusion obvious.
"Stargazing, Penny," I repeat. "Gazing at stars," I say after pulling my head back out the closet.
"Okay... why?" she asks, crossing her arms.
"Because," I begin, jumping back into the closet. "Howard thought it was a date, and then Leonard wanted to come... because I said you wanted to be smart," With a squeal I get thrown back down at the floor with a scrunched up dress in my hand. I exhale, out of breath.
"Yeah, I feel like I'm gonna need a little more context,"

I chunk down the last sip of wine in my glass as Penny washes hers. "So you're telling me that you told the guys I was coming because you didn't want it to seem like a date?" Penny asks. She is wearing a dress too, although I'm still not sure it was the best of ideas. It is just stargazing.
"Yes, Penny, that is still how it happened," I say, resting my head back against the sofa top. When will she stop going over this?
"It seems to me that if you're doing so much to prevent someone from thinking it's a date... you probably want it to be," she says. My head shoots up.
"What? Who said that? Are you a psychology major now?" I ask, a bit too defensively. Penny raises her eyebrows.
"Lashing out doesn't help prove me wrong," she says with a smirk. I sit up straight.
"You know Howard. He's annoying. The story just... escalated," I explain, nodding to myself.
"Who are you trying to convince?"
"Ugh," I say, falling back into the couch. Why are people so obsessed with me being obsessed with Raj? He's my boss. This is potential work material. Penny joins me on the couch.
"Honey, if you like Raj, it's okay," My eyes shoot open. I feel slightly uncomfortable.
"Do you know what love feels like?" she then asks. I furrow my brows and glance at her weirdly through the corner of my eye.
"Yeah," I reply. "I mean, it's not like I'm a virgin." She laughs.
"Well, let me know if you need my kind of smart," Someone knocks on the door. As Penny goes to open it, I too raise myself to my feet, making sure my dress still looks nice.
"Hey," Penny says and I hear her giving someone a peck on the lips. Leonard, I presume. With a smile I walk to the door. Leonard. Not Raj.
"Where is Raj?" I ask. Leonard's smile fades.
"Uhhhh, you know he's been having some trouble with Lucy lately?"
"Uh huh, yeah,"
"He was texting her after you left. We just talked shortly, but he seemed happy. I think she wanted to meet up," Leonard tells us. A weird sensation spreads through my body. I feel Penny's hand on my lower back.
"Oh," I say. "Well shall we get going?" I ask, smiling. It's fake.

Penny stands behind Leonard with her hands wrapped around him. He points at the sky now and then, black and void, explaining what she's seeing. I stand by myself, drinking the beer I had intended for Raj. I don't think I've ever bailed on a plan without at least informing the other person. Whatever. I turn my gaze to Leonard and Penny who are still in each other's arms, laughing. Although they are seemingly so different, they are probably the cutest couple I've seen. Perhaps my smart isn't the best smart. Penny seeks to be smart like me yet I've made no attempt to be smart like her. What a bloody paradox.