Chapter 17

169 11 3

by Uzique

by Uzique

Truth

"The truth will set you free, but first it will

make you miserable." - James A. Garfeild

Ziara Pov

I dont know if im suppposed to feel sad, angry, or straight out pissed off. 'What the fuck is going on!' I screamed loud and clear with venom in my voice. Every word I spoke I wanted it to slice into the man that was suppose to be my father. I want my words to hurt him like he hurted me. I wanted him to pay for the fatherless and husbandless days. Without even realizing it i was about to charge into him until Eli caught me pulling me back by the waste. His embrace felt good but it still didn't calm me down enough because I began swinging my arms every where like a mad women.

"Ziara calm tf down!", Eli yelled while holding an insane me. Anger was washing over me not allowing me to hear anyone. My only instincts was to attack the man who left me and my mama on our own to deal with money issues.

I went years without a father and just to find out he's over here living the mother fucking life, meanwhile my mama was selling her body for money just to make sure I had something to fucking eat. FUCK the man that's standing in front of me. I began crying out of sadness, bitterness, and anger. Eli's hold on me turned into a hug, which only made me cry even harder. "I FUCKING HATE YOU, you deserve to die...", my voice became faint and tired.

"Ziara I know your upset and have every right to but you don't know the full story to everything. If you just sit and let me explain I'll...." I cut his ass off real quick how dare he? "Did you just say I don't know the full story to everything?" I began laughing like a mad man even Eli had let me go, a little worried. "No YOU don't know the full story. My mama had to go selling her damn body to make sure we both ate and kept a roof on our heads. You the one who fucking left us like we wasn't shit and did nothing but helped out your damn self. You selfish ass motherfucker I outta kill yo ass right now!" The tone of my voice just got hotter and hotter, letting out all the feelings I bottled in for years.

"She must have not told you everything... I knew she wouldn't sighs." He said like I just didn't go the fuck off on him. Then it clicked in my head. "What are you talking about?" I asked staring at him. "I did make a huge mistake by cheating on your mama, but afterwards she told me I wasn't allowed to see you. Yo mama even got a restraining order on me."I looked at him in disbelief.

"She hated the fact I was in the drug business to. I tried to help you and yo moms, but she wouldn't let me. Every time I sent y'all money she would send it back in the mail. One time I even tried to show up on yo birthday but ya mama called the police on my ass. I was sent to jail for a couple months for intruding my restraining order." He looked beaten down like the world hasn't been good to him at all.

His story still was bullshit to me...wait did Eli know all of this the whole damn time? It made since to why he would out the blue want to be my partner and shit because he's friends with my father. My head snapped back at Eli who looked damn near guilty. "Did you know about this the whole time?", I asked making sure I didn't show how hurt I was. For the first time I saw Eli show no confidence by looking down at his feet. "I was going to tell you but... I just didn't know how."

My eyes looked at him in disgust. I was pissed all over again and this time started releasing everything at Eli. "Are you fucking serious? What else have you been hiding from me huh? Trust me my ass you don't care about nobody but yo damn self. You were just using me... you saw an opportunity and took it." I tried my best not to cry but it was becoming harder and harder not to. " You set all of this up. You tricked me into ...into loving you." The words stung, no they sliced my tongue as I bitterly spat them at him. He stood there catching every hard ball I threw at him, but those last words seem to hit him in the face, throwing him off balance. "Ziara I wasn't trying to hurt you, I.. I...", he froze stuck on stupid on what to say. My dead beat dad looked between me and Eli taking everything in. I couldn't take it anymore my head began to have sharp pains.

My chest was shredding into pieces, so I ran... I ran out the room, I ran down the hallways, I ran out the house. I ran not knowing where I was going . Voices and images began to taint me.

I don't think she's going to make it in life without a father in her life... She put a restraining order on me... Ziara I wasn't trying to hurt you... Yes I'm attracted to you not just by your looks but by your personality to. STOP PLEASE STOP!....

********

I shook my head, everything was coming at me at once. I didn't even know where I was but it was dark outside and I was walking on the side of the road. No cars was really in sight meaning no one was following me... I think. I was so tired and rubbed my eyes. I reached down in my pocket looking for my phone. I was surprised I didn't hear it going off until I realized I had turned my phone off before I got on the plane that morning. When it came back on of course I had tons of missed calls and text messages. Eli called me literally 56 times, left 10 voicemails, and 40 text messages. Dee called me like 15 times and left 10 text messages.

I sighed to myself not wanting to talk to anybody so instead I called an uber. I waited for it to come until I saw this car pull up and stop. Instead of checking my phone to see if my uber was here I got into the back of the car still in a fuzzy mood not paying attention to my surroundings. The car started moving and it didn't click that they didn't ask me where to, until I realized the car was moving. I immediately tried to open the door but the car doors were locked. I looked at the driver surprised to see who it was...

Guise it's been sooooooo long since I updated. I decided to go back to writing and even finishing this book. I miss writing so much but I have put my time into these past 2 years into my artwork and poetry. If you want to check it out my Instagram page it @drawingmyidentity But I am officially back and those of you who's reading thank you. Also pleaseeeee comment and vote.