Stories of a little girl gone wrong

The Realization

Underneath all the new and great people at Ana's new school, there were so many secrets that were coming out of hiding.  Many new things she never sat and thought about.  Drugs, drinking, suicide, cutting, and even the small things like swearing.  Sure most of these things have been in her life but she was never interested in them before.  All these intense things to do just to fit in, not even a real reason.  Even if the kids that did this stuff had a reason, it wasn't nearly as bad as a situation as the one Ana was in.  They were all sad and going through things Ana had already gone through when she was about five plus she has gone through way worse and so much more.  She questions how she was strong when these people couldn't be.  She sat and pondered about this.  That was her biggest mistake.  Ana had realized that she wasn't happy.  She had realized that she'd been ignoring reality and all the pain she had felt.  Yet at that point she had past the point of excruciating pain because it all at once, it rushed in.  She could feel everything but nothing as well.  Ana was growing up way to fast.  She was hurt on the inside more than anyone would ever know.  This one night, it all went down hill.  She was by herself......with a blade.  She looked at it and said, "Well maybe if I feel again, maybe someone will care, maybe someone will save me."  Finally after she left the bathroom to go lay in bed, she had three cuts.  The first time she's felt in a while and it was the worse kind of pain.  It's the pain of void, of nothingness, of giving up.  That night Ana left a lot behind and just stopped caring.