It's was as though Jordan had been punched in the stomach. Her whole life flashed before her eyes. It was only a few minutes ago that she believed that her life was stable. Not only mentally stable, but also financially. Was her mother that poor that she didn't have the funds to look after her own daughter?
Without contemplating the possible consequences, Jordan ran into the living room where her mother was sitting comfortably on the chair. Holding out the envelope in front of her mums face, Jordan began to question her.
"MOTHER, what the hell is this letter about? Have you actually considered sending me into foster care? I thought our lives were financially stable and you would only think about sending me away if there was no other possible choice. After dad died, I thought it would mean that we would spend much more time together. What do you think he would have to say about this? Huh. How could you do this to me, I thought that you loved me!"
Jordan hated talking to her mother like this, but there was so much hatred and anger within her that she couldn't help but behave like that.
"YES Jordan, I sent out the foster care application. You are yet to come to the realisation about how hard my life has been since your father was killed. He didn't just die Jordan; he was killed. I'm sure he didn't ever think about sending his own daughter into foster care, but if he realised how much pressure and stress I was put under, I'm sure he would do the same thing", replied her mother.
"Did you actually just say that mother? Dad loved me so much, that he never would have considered sending me away to live with another family just because he couldn't 'afford me'. He would have starved himself for days, just so that I would have food to eat. But no, you are different, you never look at the big picture, it's all about you!"
"Jordan, I don't even have a secure job and the only money in out bank account is the remains of you fathers savings and don't you EVER question my decisions again."
"Question you; are you serious mother? The only things that are floating around in my mind now are questions; hundreds of them! Did you not expect me to react to this in a positive manner?
" I never told you to not ask any questions missy. I told you not to QUESTION my motives and morals".
The tone in her mothers voice seemed to send Jordan some sort of message. One that told her to shut up and quit talking to her in the manner that she currently was talking to her in. However, Jordan had to push aside the thoughts in her head, the ones that told her to calm down.
"Oh ok, so you want me to ask questions? Well then.... Why do you hate me to that much of an extent that you are considering sending me away to live with some random family out in Woop Woop? Isn't there some way for you to receive money from the government or even sell our house so we can live somewhere smaller? So do operate in such a way that you just shut down when life gets too tough and forget about anything but......."
"THATS ENOUGH JORDAN! GET INTO YOUR BEDROOM RIGHT NOW!"
Without thinking, Jordan bolted into her bedroom, slammed the door and fell onto her bed.
The tears began to pour out of her eyes like an uncontrollable waterfall. Her kind was filled with so many emotions that Jordan struggled to out a name to at least one of them. She thought that her mum loved her. Wasn't that their job, to love their children unconditionally, no matter how hard their life got, or was her mother that different?
There were so many questions, yet so little answers....
