If It Meant Living: Mass Effect 2

42: No Such Thing

2 months, 28 days since Resurrection    ||    7 days until activation of Omega 4 Relay

“It will never be too late for you.”

Shepard was sitting on the bench fastening her shoulder armor, but had stopped halfway through the act, an absent smile on her face as she lost herself in the very recent memory.

Garrus sat on the opposite bench, putting on his armor until he noticed the vacant expression on Shepard’s face and distinct lack of movement from her.  He watched her for a minute; she didn’t seem to notice.

“Shepard?”

She blinked and looked over at him.  “Yeah?”

“You, um, kind of spaced out there for a minute…just seeing if you were okay.”

She chuckled and looked down for a moment, then back up at him.  “Sorry.  I was just…thinking about something.”

“Something good, I take it?”

A slight grin pulled at her lips.  “Yeah…”

He looked away uncomfortably.  “Okay, it’s none of my business, if you’re good…”

“I’m sorry, Garrus, I wasn’t trying to be evasive, I was just…distracted.”  She bit her bottom lip.  “I ran into Kaidan on the Citadel.”

“Oh…oh…”  He stopped, looked a bit confused, tilted his head.  “I know you said you two were talking after Horizon, but I didn’t think…so…it was good, then?” 

He fidgeted awkwardly; he really wasn’t any good at Human relationships… 

Back on the first Normandy, he had after a time considered Kaidan a friend; they had shared an interest and aptitude in technical pursuits, which had provided an avenue for personal camaraderie.  And, together with Shepard as always, they had defeated Saren and saved the galaxy, which definitely counted for something.  However, Kaidan had exhibited wildly inappropriate and uncharacteristic behavior on Horizon, and it had caused great emotional harm to Shepard.  While Kaidan may have once been a friend, Shepard was…Shepard. 

He hadn’t known what to do about it or how to help her, of course; in the long list of things he was bad at, providing personal comfort to non-turians was one of the worst.  And, selfish as it may have been…and looking back he really did regret his selfishness…he had his own problems to deal with at the time.  So, other than failing spectacularly at accompanying her to the Normandy crash site, he had done nothing – though technically, that had also been nothing, hadn’t it? 

But after about two weeks she had begun to appear to be returning to a normal emotional state – at least as normal as one could expect given her rather unique circumstances – and he had decided his assistance, or impotent concern, was no longer needed, if it had ever been.

She smiled genuinely at him.  “Yes, Garrus, it was good.”

He nodded, then looked back over at her.  “I’m glad, Shepard.  I really am.”

Her smile grew.  “Thanks.”  She finished fastening her armor and stood up.  “Now, let’s go get our sure to be considerably less good visit with a dead Reaper over with.”

***

The Reaper hovered menacingly against the backdrop of the red, pulsing glow of Mnemosyne, dwarfed by the failed planet but utterly dwarfing the Normandy.  A Geth ship floated, a small black dot, alongside it.

Shepard’s eyes narrowed out the viewport as she held onto the back of Joker’s chair with both hands.  “Geth.  Ex-cellent.”

The Normandy suddenly ceased its violent thrashing, and Joker dropped his head back against the chair.  “We’ve passed inside the Reaper’s mass effect field.”  He looked over his shoulder at Shepard.  “Eye of the hurricane, huh?”