Lisztomania | JungKook ff

9. Storm before Silence

I walked to Yoongi's room complaining all the way to the door. When dad asked me to bring him down for dinner that mom had thoughtfully prepared for all of us, I knew that this won't be a pleasant evening, for any of us. The only thought that did allow me to relax my muscles and take my mind off an upcoming investigation, which I just knew is going to happen, I've been acting weird for way too long for them to look over it, was Mina. Mina and everything about her.

Who cares about my emotions, you can play with me until you're sick of me, you can break me if that's what you want, because I'm a toy, toy.

The way she smiled when I would clap for her, even if she couldn't hear my apllause that came from the heart. The way she carefully would place sheets on top of grand piano before playing and would professionally adjust her stool. The way she elegantly bowed like in a concert, the way she would close her eyes and inhale deeply before touching the piano keys. The way she gracefully let her fingers create a gasp-worthy music that would send chills down my spine. So selflessly, she let others enjoy her creation that she couldn't acknowledge.

When I'm no longer useful you would secretly throw me away if only I can be remembered even just a little bit. Everything, I do it for you I'm a toy, toy...

I walked into the room only to find Yoongi flapping his hands in front of the computer screen like a possesed chiken. For a moment I just stood there completely confused, but the weirder his flapping got I couldn't help, but ask what is going on.

'What are you doing?' A question escaped my mouth and my brother, looking more surprised than I expected, turned around.

From his face I could judge that my presence startled him. 'Nothing,' the answer was just an automatic response.

When are having a heartfelt conversation. It would be after you've caressed me that you'd smile soon I will be put in the corner, but my fate is in your hands, girl use me while you can, I'm all yours.

He quickly closed the laptop shut and rubbed the back of his head facing me. For the first time in my life I saw my brother feel embarrassed and lost. He always seemed chill, almots a little bit out of this wolds because no one could keep their cool as calmly as him. But not now apparently.

'Come down the stairs, dinner is ready,' I informed him and walked out the room to join our birth givers by the dining room table.

I don't want anything more from you if i can see you filling with me. I can give it all to you, will you take it all from me. If love is a joke, then use me ruthlessly. Now you know, all you need is me I'm your toy, I'm your toy, I'm your toy. If love is a joke, then use me ruthlessly.

Soon after me Yoongi came down from the second floor as well. His forehead looked strangely sweaty as if he felt nervous.

'JungKook,' my father suddenly addressed me making me no less nervous than my older brother. I nodded for an answer. 'Me and your mother were talking, you seem a little bit off these days. Is there something you'd like to share?'

Why do they always ask that? I almost started gnashing, but stopped myself at the last second. I didn't want to bring trouble on myself. But truth to be told if I really wanted to tell them something, I would have already let them know.

'There's a girl,' Yoongi smirked out of the blue somehow delighted. It shocked me. Not only his mood swing, but hid words too. What right did he have to say that?

"What am I to you?" Am I being too greedy by even asking this question to you, I gave everything I had and everything I didn't have. But I feel like having the slightest expectation is undeserving of me, I can't take one step out of your world anyway. All I need is for our relationship to be remembered beautifully and displayed in an aisle of your memories when your mind is quiet, you will discover me it might have been smart of me to love like a fool instead.

'A girl?' Both of my parents asked at the same time, but their tones were different. My father rose his eyebrow and grinned, surprised, but pleased. Mom on the other hand exclaimed like hell gates just had opened up in front of her.

'You should invite her over then sometime, son,' dad suggested to me.

I can't tell you anything. My silent lips, already wrote several letters to you. To you I'm probably a light sadness, but I still want you to hurt, girl use me while you can. I'm all yours

I doubted if any of them noticed that I in fact haven't spoken a word. And even
Now they just came back to food in their plates like nothing had ever happened. Like that question had never left dad's mouth and Yoongi never blurted out that answer that practically made me drop my chopsticks on the floor. I suddenly didn't feel like eating anymore, but of course my mother wasn't okay with it.

'Eat JungKook, you need more body mass. Look at yourself, you' like a stick!' She told me while proceeding to shove the rice cupcake in her mouth.

I looked down at myself and then glanced at Yoongi. He was eating as much as a horse and yet he was so skinny it sometimes would scare me. If I tried really hard I could break him in half. Or it seemed so, Yoongi was stronger than he actually looked. Mentally and physically. Sometimes I would still get surprised by his capabilities. But looking at him and basing my opinion souly on the looks I had no choice, but to give my mom a 'really?' look.

I don't want anything more from you. If i can see you filling with me, I can give it all to you, will you take it all from me. If love is a joke, then use me ruthlessly. Now you know, all you need is me, I'm your toy.

After we finished dining Yoongi got up from his seat thanking for the food, took his dishes and carefully placed them in the sink before walking out. As their older son left mom and dad started chatting on their own, they didn't seem to pay much or at all attention to my presence in the room. So I quickly shot up from my chair even startling my mom and threw my plate into the sink, hopefully not breaking it. Then I rushed after my brother without a word.

I caught up with him in the hallway. 'Why did you do that?!' I hissed at Yoongi so parents wouldn't hear me shout while pinning him to the wall.

I don't want anything more from you. If i can see you filling with me. I can give it all to you, will you take it all from me, if love is a joke, then use me ruthlessly. Now you know, all you need is me, I'm your toy.

He seemed lost at first, but then once again put on his cold mask. 'Believe me brother, it has nothing to do with you. I have my own personal reasons.' And he just shook off my hand before turning around and starting to walk away from me. He just stepped out an argument, just like that.

'You just want to see her,' I stated shaking from anger and Yoongi stopped. 'You want to see her, not help mom and dad understand what is going on with me. You want to steal her from me!' I couldn't hold back and I accused him.

We cannot be equal Because you are the only one for me and to you I am one of many. Now I am as devoted to you as I can be without crossing the line and I end the story that we didn't even get to start. It was like a burning candle before a wind and how my tears fall as much as I wanted you. If I stop running I will most certainly fall. Will you please walk with me at least once?

'You pathetic little brother,' Yoongi replied with a click of a tongue 'you don't even want our parents knowing what is going on,' I gulped because it was the truth. 'You do not own her JungKook, get real.'

I don't want anything more from you. If I can see you filling with me. I can give it all to you, will you take it all from me. If love is a joke, then use me ruthlessly. Now you know, all you need is me, I'm your toy, I'm your toy, I'm your toy. If love is a joke, then use me ruthlessly.

《♥》

I really hope you're reading the lyrics I compose into the chapters, because they mean a lot and have impact on the story.