Lisztomania | JungKook ff

11. Broken Wings

And here I was. Watching them enjoy themselves and one each other's company. Who would have thought it would end up like this? Me watching my older brother and the girl who I was madly and deeply in love with spending their time together? I didn't. Day after day they seemed to be rubbing it in my face. Their happiness, the joy they shared. I knew, somewhere deep deep down in my heart I knew that this wasn't all because of me. They weren't beying like that because of me. But it didn't change the fact that it hurt. It hurt like hell and there's nothing I could have changed.

That day I was out. Passing quiet streets all alone. So many thoughts in my head. Yet, I put them all aside. It's not like there's no time for them. I just have no will to bear with a dark place my mind was. Or became after things had changed.

That night when me and Yoongi brought Mina for dinner never in my life I imagined for my brother to have learned a sign language. But he did, oh you should have seen Mina's face. The happiness. Never, I have never seen anyone as happy... or anyone as beautiful. That happiness made her glow. She was perfect. My angel. That was a first hit to me.

Trying avoid memories I turned up the volume of the song.

Trouble is her only friend and he's back again. Makes her body older than it really is and she says it's high time she went away no ones got much to say in this time. Trouble is the only way is down, down, down.

Nothing seemed to amuse me. All people seemed to have same faces, all streets were made in the same way, buildings built exactly like one another. It was boring sameness that annoyed me. But I didn't want to come back home. That was the last thing I would have done that day. All in all, seeing Mina happy made me feel better rather than horrible. However it didn't make me forget my own aches. My own dreams. My shattered fantasies.

In which she and I... we were together. That reality was better. That reality was what I wanted. Sadly, it wasn't the truth.

As strong as you were, tender you got. I'm watching you breathing for the last time a song for your heart, but when it is quiet I know what it means and I'll carry you home, I'll carry you home.

I sighed loudly. So much of that avoiding, trying not to face my fears and agony. Wherever I went all I could see was happy couples. Couples taking a stroll in a park. Couples buying ice cream. Couples shopping, couples eating, couples smiling, laughing, enjoying life. Couples. People. People that felt alive. Differently from me.

Turning up the volume was useless. Closing my eyes had no use. Shutting myself from the world was not an option. I turned around on my heel and headed home. In case, it couldn't have gotten worse. By the end of the day I would still be in this position. Just a lonely youngster third wheeling his older brother and his girlfriend. It was as much of the hell as I could think of. It couldn't have gotten worse. Could it?

If she had wings she would fly away and another day god will give her some trouble is the only way is down, down, down.

Yoongi was outside sitting on the stairs of the veranda. I was about to walk pass by him not giving him a glance, but something stopped me. My guts just told me to slow down and sit down. Which I did. I took out my earphones and turned off the mp3 player putting it aside on the wooden staircase. The day was in fact nice, sun up high in the sky pleasantly heating up the air and a soft breeze slightly hitting our faces as we sat in silence.

I saw him look, just for a second be turned to me and looked. I knew he didn't expect me to do that, but it was a mutual feeling. I didn't expect him to care either. So we just sat completely quiet listening to some bird chirping somewhere far away. It was a nice song, a lovely one. It warmed my heart. But not enough to make it beat again. It could have only beated for Mina. Only music healed me.

"Where's Mina?" It wasn't an innocent question purely out of curiosity and Yoongi quickly realised that.

"Inside."

"Something's wrong?"

"Not like you care."

He was wrong about that. I cared. A lot. For Mina, especially. But truly, for both of them. It couldn't have been over wise. He was my brother, my family, a person I trusted and could have leaned on even if we had had hardships in the past. I cared without him expecting it. As I said, we both were pretty unused to being honest about how we feel.

The bird chirped again. The knob of the front dor twisted and as on cue we turned around facing Mina who went out through them. I and Yoongi jumped from our seats on the staircase and she glanced at her surprised for our reaction. I noticed little water drops on her forehead.

"Jungkook? Hi," she mouthed.

As strong as you were tender you got. I'm watching you breathing for the last time a song for your heart, but when it is quiet I know what it means.

My instinct was to run to her and help with whatever she needs, but Yoongi was faster and the truth grew on me. She didn't need me. She needed him.

I'll carry you home...I'll carry you home.

She didn't need me.

And they all want pretty, Seoul's City lights and summers little girl has been taken from the world tonight but the stars and stripes.

I needed her.

As strong as you were, tender you got. I'm watching you breathing for the last time a song for your heart, but when it is quiet I know what it means.

She was my addiction.

I'll carry you home.